Shelleymb

After a depressing day yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I think my exact words in the car to Ty were, “Today is so much better than yesterday. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, and my pants fit.” I feel a lot better about myself when I’m not worrying so much about what I look like. I’ve also decided to do something about it while I wait to be banded… At first, I thought about no carbs. I remember doing the south beach diet and I lost weight doing it… but I also remember gaining the weight back when I couldn’t handle the cravings anymore. So then I got the brilliant idea of no carbs (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes) at work. Now this is something that I can do. So for the last two days I only eat fruits, veggies, meat, and cheese at work, with A LOT of water. And then eat a normal dinner. I need baby steps to change, which I think we all do. So this is how I’m going to take off (hopefully) a few pounds in the waiting. Other than that, not much happened today. Going to the bank today with Ty to open a joint account so that we can both have allotments come out of our check to save for the surgery. (before anyone tries to tell me not to get a joint account with a boyfriend, I promise you, as you continue to read about me through the years **if you stay with me that long** that we will be married. I’m very smart with my money and assets, and I wouldn’t do something like this if I didn’t trust them 300%) Have a great evening everyone!!

Has anyone asked to have/take home a video of your surgery. Not for any legal purposes, just for curiosity reasons? Is this a weird question for my surgeon?

Congrats on your baby boy! Wow, I've been really lucky to not have any comorbilities, except a sore back. I just know that it's going to catch up with me though. And my boyfriend, I don't want to become parents until I'm able to keep up with any kid.

Thank you! I'm sorry I'm so vain!

What is pcos?

Today started out Oh Tuesdays Last night even after trying on jeans Bleck! I can’t even start a post! When I was in college in 2004, I took a creative writing class and the instructor would give us 10 minutes to close your eyes and type (for those who can do that, which is probably 80% of the population in this day and age) but she would tell you not to delete anything, just type. After the 10 minutes, go back and copy and paste the parts of whatever you just wrote into a story. I guess I never fell out of that habit, for I LOVE to write. I hope to have a few books published before I die. Last night, before I went to attempt jean shopping, I went to Lane Bryant to try on a swim suit that I ordered off line just to make sure that it was going to fit and actually make me look decent enough to wear it in public. I tried it on and fell in love with it and now I’m so excited to get it in the mail. I went home and told Ty that I was so happy, that I found a suit that looks good on me and that we would have so much fun in San Diego. I felt good about myself, which is something I haven’t felt in a while. Well, then it came to be bed time, I started a load of laundry because right now I only have 1 pair of jeans that I wear to work that fit me. I forgot to get up early and put them in the dryer with enough time for them to be dry for work…. Well now I don’t have any pants! So I tear apart my room looking for the only other pair that actually fit me and they have been eaten by a monster or something. Just my luck. I find a pair that I know are too small, but are the only ones that I’m going to be able to button. THEY ARE TIGHT. I have to use a hair tie to make an expansion so that I can make it through the day… I debate calling in, then I remember that I need to save leave to go to San Diego to visit Ty… I walk out of the bathroom and continue on with gathering my things for work, and Ty says, “See you found them!” I had to shut him down quickly and inform him that these jeans are too small. He asks for a hug and I tell him I don’t want to give him a hug because I feel terrible. So he hugs me and tells me that I look fine, and I had to tell him about the hair tie. THEN HE LAUGHED!! Boys are dumb. I almost burst into tears. I had to tell him it isn’t funny, and then the apologized, which I believe, but still. So now I’m at work… I started the morning off feeling sorry for myself. Then it was iPod time…Music is my everything. I grew up with music in my house all the time. After listening to a few songs, I was in a bit of a better mood and I realized I put myself in this mess; I’m on the right path to taking myself out. This is my time.

No, my boyfriend and I are getting banded together, we are self-pay. There are a couple of factors on why we are waiting until December (trust me, if I could I would do it today) He is leaving July 2nd for San Diego until the middle of December for work, and we both have an 11 day break for the holidays from work at the end of December, so it just works out. We want to have at least 10,000 in cash and finance the rest. But keep me updated on your journey. That would be awesome to do it together. Ty (my boyfriend) and I have our consultations on the 29th of this month. Right before he leaves

Thank you! I know it's a silly thing to want, but I like seeing the counts.

I just was wonderin who maintains this site? Is there a reason why the view count on the blogs don't work anymore?

Im sitting in the dressing room at Macy's feeling defeated. All I needed was a pair of jeans for work.... I wear yoga pants at home because I'm so fat, but I work on a shipyard and I have tO wear jeans. You know the moment when you pull the jeans up to your knees and you instantly know they aren't going to fit? Or when you finally find a pair that you can pull up the whole way and manage to button up and you're working wIth muffin top, camel toe, or they are so wide in the leg you can't see your feet? I pretty much hate myself right now. I hate buying jeans based on how long it will take me to tailor them to my body. Good thing I'm a good seamstress I guess. The next six months can't fly by fast enough.

Why can't you get another fill until you feel restriction?

I need something to do while waiting for surgery... I keep gaining!! I just don't know what to do anymore. Any time I get dressed or eat or something, I feel like bursting into tears. Ty told me today he has lost 5 pounds since he stop drinking diet soda.... I NEVER DRINK SODA!! It isn't fair!! I'm over this! I hope everyone has a good week. ~Shells

Do something with your hands. Learn to knit.

I was listening to the radio with my boyfriend the other day and we heard this story about how no matter how much weight you lose, the people around you will always see you as "fat". They will see you currently, but in their minds it will always be a thought of, "they used to be fat." and it's true, I'm guilty of it. There is a guy in my shop that I talk to often that, after researching for my own lap band, I'm 99.9% sure he had WLS of some sort, which is great, because he is so much healthier, but whenever I see him, the first thing I think of is, wow! He's lost so much, he used to be so heavy! Does this ever bother anyone?

I found that I don't like any sort of exercise by myself. I'm so group oriented it's rediculous. Maybe a class with others around or some sort of team would help. I can't wait to join a master's swim team. If you like swimming look for a master's team. Swimming is the best. In high school when I was on a swim team year round, that was the only time I have been at my healthiest. Conrats on 40lbs!!

Ty and I will be married when we are our goal weights! We already know we will be married, I just can't wait to have the biggest party of my life (reception) in the dress I can only imagine myself when I am at my goal, and he said he was ok with waiting if I was.

That's hillarious!! I'm so excited!!

How do you prevent yourself from accidently taking a drink without thinking about it?

Wondering if there is anyone who is getting banded this December? Looking for some peoples to wait out the next 6 months with.

For those of you who already practice this, what do you do if you go out to eat? Have them remove the glass from the table?

Ty is the best man for me! Today after we both had to work 10 hour overtime shifts at work (yuck, but the money is to good to not go in) wehad to drive to a near by city to drop is car off for work. It was about an hour and 15 minute car ride, so we had time to talk on the way home, and I asked him what he wanted me to do with the appointments. And he asked me what I wanted, and I told him the truth, that I wanted to keep the appointments and for him to come home in december and for us to get banded in December like we originally planned. And then he said no matter what, we would be banded in December! He said that if he gets extended, he'll just fly home and take a bit of time off, then fly back. My night has been made. I know that this is short, but I'm just so happy! Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!!

This was how it was all planned out: June 29th--Ty and I go in for our dietion appointment and surgeon consultation July 2nd--Ty leaves for San Diego for almost 6 months All the time in between would be us saving to put as much down on our surgeries as possible December 14th--Ty comes home and we see the surgeon again to start our Pre-Op diets December 26ish--We get banded... Well all of that has a huge chance of changing, Ty might have to stay in San Diego until February. He then told me if that was the case, I might as well go to Japan for 6 months starting in November, and have the surgery when I get home. That way we won't have to finance anything, we would have saved enough for both surgeries. As much as I like the idea of not having to finance anything, I hate the idea of having to wait a year to get banded. I'm having a hard enough time waiting 6 months, let alone a whole year. Ty doesn't understand. He just keeps saying, "What's another year?" 1 Year = Me hating what I look like for another year Not being able to do all the activities that I want for another year Feeling terrible about myself for another year Not fitting in my clothes for another year Running the risk of gaining more wait for another year Giving up on everything and not wanting to be banded in a year Depression. This whole situation is depressing to me. So now I don't know what to do. Should I cancel the appointment that we have on the 29th of this month and wait the year or keep the appointment and hope he doesn't get extended. All of this makes me sick to my stomach. Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated.

the whole adding of friends on this website. Is it like facebook? And do people think you're weird if you try to add them because you really don't know them?

I just thought of another thing, if you didn't used to work out before and you just started a new routine, your body is holding on to water to heal your muscles. It's very normal. And when you are building muscle like that, your muscles swell due to tearing. I wouldn't worry about it.

If you didn't normally exercise before you could just be gaining muscle. I would messure for inches lost. I worked out for 3 months, and only lost 10 pounds but I drop 3 pant sizes. If you are walking a lot of hills you could just be gaining muscle mass in your legs.