MeganA

I can't answer the question based on my experience because I'm only a year and a month out... The only person I know that you might know who has been banded for a long time (4-5 years?) is Sharon Osborne. She looks fantastic. I believe she started at 250lbs or so. The great thing about the band is that it is always adjustable. If a person changes their lifestyle to work with the band, the weight should not come back on. But that means that if you start eating a bucket of ice cream and a bag of chips a day the weight will come back on. So, it's really a choice for us...where the RNY folks don't really get one- their bodies sometimes learn to compensate. Megan

Carmen- Did you have a PB episode or a "stuck" episode that could have triggered the new tightness? If I were you, I'd take three days off of regular food and see what happens. My doctor recommends cream based soups when I'm swollen because they are heavier and pass through the stoma without needing much help from the esophogus. Everyonce and awhile I'll have a tough time with being too restricted and once I go to soups for a couple of days I feel better. But if in a couple of days you aren't feeling better, then I'd check it out with the doctor. But, I'm not a doctor...not even a nurse! so take my advice with a grain of salt. Megan

Great timing Lisa! I don't know what's happened to me but I have been eating crap like it's goin' out of style. The weird thing is, I never used to be a sweet eater...I used to eat rice and Pasta...bread...you know the drill. Now that I can't eat that stuff- I've turned to candy and Cookies...and I don't even like candy or cookies! I'm stuffing my feelings and need to get a handle on it. Hold on- I'm going into the kitchen to throw it all away. There. I'm in on the challenge. What's everyone's prize for being successful? You all know I love prizes...mine is this to-die-for soft pink winter scarf I saw at Target the other day and just couldn't see buying. Now I'm going to earn it!!! So- here's my very public goal... I will refrain from eating more than one treat a day for one week. Then I get the scarf. Ha. Megan

I just realized today that 255 pounds is a pretty big milestone for me and I wanted to share why. I must have been in about 9th grade when I stepped on the scale and it said "255". I very clearly remember thinking- "Oh my god I am so fat and so close to 300 pounds. If I ever weight 300 pounds I'm going to kill myself". I'm not much of a drama queen- so that was a pretty big thing for me to say to myself and I'm pretty sure I meant it even then. Well, I got to 300 pounds and you know what? I was killing myself. Just slowly. So, now I sit at a weight I haven't weighed since I was in 9th grade. What a feeling. Has anyone ever heard the saying "What we fear we create"? I think in this case it fits perfectly. I was so afraid that I was so worthless and such a fatty that I'd end up weighing 300 pounds one day. Interesting. Megan

Lyle- I'm so glad you've found hope. I always wondered what it was like for a big guy growing up...I think girls can be snotty to each other, and guys can be pretty cruel to girls...but I'd think guys would be even harder on other guys. I have to admit that one of the biggest changes I've made since I was banded- well, at least the last six months- is that I've stopped the negative inner talk about myself and my weight. I don't know how something that sits on my stomach has changed my brain so much, but it has and thank god for it. It sounds like your inner talk is under control. Doesn't it feel so good to have that brain space available to think of positive things? :-) Thanks for sharing your story. Megan

Sounds to me like the doctor wouldn't do surgery because the bowel wasn't cleaned out. I can imagine that they want you as clean as possible so if there are any complications there is no icky stuff that gets into the body cavity. I'm sure the doctor can't tell if you've had a steak dinner for two or whatever the pre-surg diet called for- he can just tell that you didn't clean yourself out enough. I had to do a nasty explosive diareha regimine before surgery to make sure I was nice and clean. And to tell you the truth- I'm really glad I didn't have to go #2 for a long time after surgery. Megan

Hi there...I'm so sorry you're having such problems. It sounds like you are really struggling with both the physical and the emotional aspects of having weightloss surgery. If you really feel totally out of control, I'd suggest you get yourself to a therapist ASAP. If you know the rules and are self-sabotaging yourself anyway...there is probably a lot more going on than anyone on this board can help you with at this point. Please know that you aren't alone, and that others have had to get help to deal with exactly the issues you are discribing. My hunch is that if you got the band removed, you'd gain back all the weight you have lost plus much, much more. Having the band removed isn't going to solve anything if you're emotionally unhealthy. In fact it's probably keeping you from gaining a significant amount of weight as we speak. Maybe that is what your band is designed to do for *you*- keep you from gaining while you work out the issues in your emotional life. If you look at it that way, you are a success. It's not your fault...you aren't a bad person or a failure. You just have some different challenges and your strong enough to work through them. But I'd say again- find a therapist who deals with eating disorders and compulsive behavior **tomorrow** You deserve to feel good about yourself! Keep us posted... Megan

Thought I'd define the two for newbies... PB (Productive burp) is undigested but chewed up food that sits in the pouch - so when it comes back up there are no stomach acids that come with. I think of it as slimed, chewed food. Usually tastes the same as it did going down. Gross, I know! This is an expected part of being a bandster, but it is recommended that you take care not to do it. Vomit- stomach acid and partially digested food come up. This is extremely dangerous for the bandster to do. It can cause slippage and reflux. Take any and all precautions not to do this. If you have food poisoning, the flu, etc...my doctor says to contact him immediately. R- I've never vomited since I was banded. Hope this helps! Megan

What a fantastic thread. I've never told ANYONE this (besides my doctor)...so I thought I'd tell the hundreds or so members of this board. My moment(s) came when I started to have pains in my chest. It was this thread of pain that would come and go. I never told anyone because I was so ashamed. When I was checked out by the doctor they didn't find anything that would indicate a heart attack or anything severe. But it scared the SH** out of me and I took it as a sign from my body that I just couldn't live at over 300 pounds anymore. My dad had a heart attack at 38, my mom has type 2 diabetes and when I finally stopped to take stock of my health...it was like I had a crystal ball in front of me to tell me my future if I stayed on the current path. Denial is a very uncomfortable place to live...but at least it's familiar. But Now I feel like I have a future- and sometimes it's unfamiliar and scary...but that's when I feel most alive. Megan

What your experiencing is totally normal! Your little stomach just feels better now and wants some food! Don't panic!!! Just drink something with a little sugar in it- try some kool-aid or some Jello with sugar in it. I found that the more I ate of the sugar free stuff, the more hungry I got. This too shall pass...I promise! Megan

Uh...Not being able to fall asleep is miserable. The only thing I've found to really work for me is meditation. It sounds cooky but it works. I rumminate so much at night. It's almost like the minute the light turns off my mind turns on. Sometimes I fall asleep anyway. Sometimes I take Unisom- but then I just rumminate in slow motion :-). So, I learned to meditate and clear my mind. It takes practice but now, if I need to, I can meditate for ten minutes- totally clearning my mind, focusing on my breathing, feeling a peaceful bright white light fill my mind and body...and I'm out. Like I said, it took practice but now it works for me- especially when I'm at a new place... I hope you have a chance to rest soon, Penni. I'm thinking of you!!! Megan

Donali- I was hoping that your quietness was a result of having wonderful times with your new live in lovaaaa :-). Sorry to hear that you're struggling. My heart goes out to you and I think of you often. One of the things I've learned since banding (and I'm sure you already know this but I just wanted to give you a friendly reminder) is that there is sometimes GOOD stress in our lives- any change can create stress and trigger old habits- even good stuff. Try not to be too hard on yourself and keep tabs on that black and white thinking!!!!!! I just hope you know that you've got a bunch of people here rooting for you and will love you no matter what! Megan

Kim- It's perfectly normal to have doubts and to be scared. It probably means that you have realized what a change this is going to be in your life and change is often times very, very frightening. As far as the pre-surg diet goes- can you look at taking it one meal at a time? Also- set a daily goal for yourself and then give yourself a reward- maybe it's a long distance phone call to a friend that normally you think is too expensive it make, buy a magazine that you normally just glance at in the store. Do something that can help you think positively about the experience and that gets you excited. I had to do this A LOT in the beginning because I thought I was going to go crazy without food and the depravation of the pre and post op diet is exactly what triggers my obsession. I earned for myself a couple of magazine subscriptions, a beautiful ring, and a pair of pearl earrings...along with a lot of little things. It's kind of hard at first to find non- food rewards...but once you start looking you'll see little things that you will now be able to afford from your left over food budget! Another piece of advice I have for when you find yourself falling off the wagon- which EVERY ONE of us does...don't be hard on yourself. This is a learning process and the only way to learn is by making mistakes. Megan

I need a secret lapband boyfriend! Depending on how tall Tall Guy actually is...maybe we could share! Megan

It struck me as I was reading this hilarious thread that I,too, am addicted. I admit it. I don't post all that much, but even before I met so many of you I felt like I knew you all pretty well. I know I check in so often because this journey can feel very solitary. Other peope can empathize but they don't "know" like you all do. What a great addiction to have- a place where you feel safe enough to bare your soul or just to vent about an every day gripe. We are so lucky to have each other! Megan

Gosh, thanks everyone for your kind words. This board is really, really special. What a safe and warm place in a not so warm electronic environment. I very much appreciate all of the words of congratulations and encouragement. You are all the best! Megan

Blossom- I'd say you should definitly look into finding an alternative surgeon. The hard part isn't getting the surgery, actually. I think the most challenging is finding a surgeon who provides great follow up care. If the office is this way now, I just have to imagine that they will be this way after you have surgery. You don't need a doctor's office to give you the run around when you have a too tight fill, or get the flu, or... I'd rather you wait another year for another round of insurance stuff than get banded tomorrow and have no follow up. But then I know how frantic I was to get the surgery NOW when I finally decided to have it. When the nurse said there are lots of people waiting...the first thing that popped into my head to say is- "I don't care if there are lots of people waiting- **I** am waiting". I never would have said that or even thought that pre surgery. I let people walk all over me and even did it to myself. Best of luck! Megan

Photo from last weekend in Vegas

I think I had lost about 15 pounds

Photo Now Minus 51 lbs

Before Photo

About a year and two months ago I was perusing the card section in a local shop and I came across one that read “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself” and I almost started to cry. I was at that point in my life where lots of people find themselves- I was morbidly obese, had a job I didn’t really life, a couple of guys who were hanger-on-ers and not really all that into me, a bunch of friends that felt like they were drains on me, and basically a life that didn’t feel like my own. I had made a promise to myself when I turned 30- that this was going to be MY year. I was going to turn myself around. I was going to loose 50 pounds before my 31st Birthday. At 6 months from my 31th Birthday I had gained 10 more pounds. After reading that card, I decided I needed help and had to do “something”. I was terrified of the bypass, but more terrified of continuing to live as I was. In the back of my mind I remembered seeing on the news an alternative procedure that didn’t involve cutting anything up. So, I started researching. And I found the band. Immediately I knew I wanted it. Needed it. Couldn’t live without it. I researched and researched and started posting those “newbie” questions that we old timers now can find a little annoying until we remember we asked them too. I got lots of positive feedback from people online. Then I decided to talk to my family. I was so scared but I knew two things- one, that I was going to have the surgery regardless of how they felt about it, and two, that I really wanted them to be supportive. And they were and have been. I’m very very lucky. So, to get to the good part- I found a surgeon I wanted to do my surgery, and was offered participation in the FDA trial for the Swedish Band. From the time initial call to the surgeon’s office to attend one of the seminars, and the day of surgery was about three weeks. Again, I am very lucky. It was one year ago that I had my band placed. As much as it is a cliché, it really was the day that changed, and saved, my life. I’m a slow looser…and that’s ok with me now. At first I spent a lot of time and energy negatively comparing myself to other bandsters. I’d spent my whole life comparing myself to other people- am I the fattest in the room? Am I fatter or skinnier than her? Do I dress like that? Does my butt look like that? I had a tough time in the beginning emotionally. Physically I healed quickly with little or no pain and no complications. Emotionally I was a mess. I stopped calling my friends, I stopped working very hard for my clients, and I retreated and withdrew from my family. I felt so different inside. Yet I still looked the same on the outside. I wasn’t loosing any weight, yet my eating was restricted. I couldn’t use food to get me through the emotional upheaval I was going through. I was so lost. Then one day I walked into my bathroom where that card is framed on the wall and thought- why am I waiting for the band to change my life? Why do I wait for other people or events to change my life? Why don’t *I* change my life? I suppose it was about 4 months after surgery that I started to feel like myself again. Only this was a new “myself” that I didn’t recognize. I went to my therapist and she helped, although not having a weight problem led me to teach her more than her teach me. But she did help me in so many ways. I started to stick up for myself. I felt worthy of being treated well for the first time since I was a little girl. I had a long and authentic conversation with my biggest client and told them if they didn’t start listening to me and my advice I was going to walk away. WHAT? I said that???? And it worked. They respected me in a whole new way. I told the guys in my life that showed up once and awhile that I was done with them. I told my friends that I was no longer in the friend-therapist business and that they needed to support me and be my friend. I lost some friends this way…but then they weren’t friends. I started to like myself. To feel confident and assured in a way I only remember feeling as a little girl. The biggest change is that I stopped trying to fix everyone else and started to fix myself. And it’s not like I’ve lost a ton of weight and found this new me. I’ve lost about 1 pound a week. I’m down -51 pounds as of this morning. I can’t begin to list everything that has changed in my life- but I want to hit some highlights. Especially to help those just starting the process or who are slow losers too. I can now run up and down the stairs. I can play with my dogs and chase after them. I can fit into the ‘regular” plus size clothes again. I can wear necklaces because I have a new neck. I can get in and out of cars without needing to grab onto something. I can fit in a movie seat without spilling onto my poor sister. I bought a little SUV with four wheel drive so that I never have to feel like I only have to take the regular road. I can create my own if I want! I am so much more compassionate of other obese people- I think not comparing myself to them and making them the opposition changed how I treat them. I volunteer more. I go out dancing. I get hit on by men. The door is opened for me. People meet my eyes. I get smiled at by strangers. I eat fruits and veggies and whole grains. My skin has improved. I have a little glow about me. I wake up in the morning so excited to see what is going to happen that day I can barely stand it. I laugh even when I’m alone. I no longer feel the weight of loneliness at the end of the day. Now I take the dogs for a walk and giggle at their silliness. I read a book or listen to a new CD. I take care of myself now. I like myself now. I have a long way to go to get to my weight goal. But I am very, very close to my other goals of creating a new life for myself. Having the band literally saved me-emotionally and physically. Megan

Hey everybody! I FINALLY had a chance to check out all the great photos from the Vegas Bash. Thanks to everyone for their kind words! My sister Bridget and friend Brigid and I all had a great time. I'm sorry we left early...we stayed up way too late the night before and needed a nap. It was a great pleasure to meet everyone, and have a chance to talk to people face to face that have the same challenges and successes that I have. I was thinking on the plane home last night that every one of you that I met on Saturday seem very strong and confident and I wondered if it was a coincidence or not...maybe it takes a strong confident woman to choose a better life for herself and her family and friends? Maybe the band helps us with our strength and confidence? Maybe it's a combination of the two. Thanks to all those who either lugged your old clothes to Vegas or had the fortsight to send them. I found lots of great stuff that I wll love fitting into on my way down. I didn't get a chance to talk to everyone, and not very in depth but I just want those I did get a chance to get to know a little that I think you are all very special and I'm better for having met you. Special thanks to Lisa for hosting the party. It's a hell of a lot of work to make an event like that happen and I very much appreciate it. Also thanks for sending me the clothes. I know it's a big pain in the pattotie so know I appreciate it a lot. Donali- have I known you all of my life? I felt an instant bond with you. Penni- thanks for all of your hard work in getting us organized. You and your husband are so much fun and very welcoming. Vera-your enchiladas were awesome and your happy spirit is contagious. Carol- My sister and friend had a wonderful time chatting with you, and your margaritas were yuuummmy! Michelle- your strength is amazing. So are your eyes- but it's not just the color of them, but the strength I saw in them that made them beautiful. Leatha- what a sweetheart. I didn't have much of a chance to talk to you but you are very warm and your smile is beautiful. Ginny- Glad you found a pile of clothes too. Your story is amazing and I commend you for the choices you've made. I'm sure it hasn't been easy. Teresa- I still can't believe you and your husband drove so far. It just shows how determined you are! You seem very kind and sweet. I hope you found some cute stuff to take home with you in that huge pile of clothes! Texas Babs- Thanks for bringing your before pictures. You inspired me! Karen- besides your beautiful teeth, you are very charming and have a great sense of humor. I could have talked to you all day! Vika- I only chatted with you for a second...I think you look amazing and I love the way you carry yourself. I hope I remembered everyone. I look forward to the bash next year- and this time I'm leaving the sister and friend at home so I can party with the rest of you! I was just thinking= can I get the recipies for all of the yummy food and drinks? Everything was sooo good. Bandsters sure know how to cook! Love to all... Megan

So, how excited is everyone to go to Vegas? I'm so excited I can't stand it!! I just can't decide what to wear. I'm pretty sure that I will have to get new clothes because everyone in Vegas would be able to tell that I had worn what I have before. And shoes, new shoes, too! Megan

Couple of things sprang to mind when I read the original post here. First of all, lunch meat and cheese (any other than sliced american) is very hard to eat- especially at lunch. I have PBed several times because it just doesn't make sense that I can't eat it! The other thing- once you PB, you really MUST take some time off. Otherwise it's a vicious cycle. PBing is actually a serious thing. It causes your stomach to swell. It gets irritated and needs a break. I'm not say you don't take a break, I just want to make sure it's clear. While you're getting used to your strange levels of restrictions, you are going to PB, it's a fact of having the band. Some people are lucky and don't, but the majority do. So if you eat roast beef one day at lunch and you PB, don't eat it again for lunch! One of the hardest things to do with the band is to make new habits and to find new things to eat. Since I'm so much looser at night, I stick to the same kind of things during the day that I know are good for me, don't make me PB, and are yummy. I'm sure other people have some ideas, too. If you're hungry for roast beef- have some at supper. I promise that you will find patterns in your restriction levels and it will get easier. Hang in there! Megan