CowgirlJane

I saved the cash in advance - but that is what I do with all big purchases. I realize that can be hard, but if it is possible to "pay" yourself (ie deposit into savings) rather that repay loans it really is a good way to go. Some people that go to Dr S only do part of the procedures at a visit so they can afford it and then save up for a second surgery.

ms skinny - i am so sorry you are having to deal with all this drug stuff too. A good friend has essentially lost her daughter to drugs - meth I think mostly. The stories she can tell - the stealing, lying, cheating, the 100,000 spent on drug rehab, the now raising of a granddaughter... but somehow the story that kicked me the hardest was when her daughter needed surgery to remove a needle from her NECK that had broken off there. It gets worse, the needle had been there awhile but started moving and irritated her - she didn't even KNOW she had a broken off needle in her neck. Doesn't that just tell you how BAD it is? Hang in there is all I can say, Florinda, (and actually all of us!) I was alarmed by your post but I thought to myself... maybe it is just venting. I don't mean to lecture, but you can't really mean what you said. I have seen photos of you and know it isn't true, and honestly, even if you weighed 300#, I would disagree with the self loathing over physical appearance. I can see how easy it is to head down this thought path though. I had an amazing amazing time with my "friend" Steven last week. He has a way of making me feel just so beautiful and sexy and he means it, I know he does. He loved the outfit I wore and responded to my appearance in a very enthusiastic way. He often tells me I look like a pinup girl, or Betty Boop - curves in the right places kinda thing. Anyway, he brought up - not me - that he didn't even notice my scars and that he thought i shouldn't even mention it when I meet someone in the future I really want to go all the way with. So, I decided I would take updated photos of my body to show how well the scars are healing and share with the DR S plastics group I am a part of . I took a selfie in undies and was HORRIFIED when I looked at the picture. The scars were fine, it was that I still look... fluffy...round...NOT the hot bod I like to dream I might have, I still have a bit of smooshy to me, especially my thighs. More than a bit. And my waist is thicker now then it was a few months ago which is frustrating considering my weight is good. I don't know if it is still some swelling but i felt very disappointed looking at my waist in that photo - although frankly nobody else notices. How quickly I forget that my thighs were AWFUL before and being a little smooshy now is nothing. I have a flat tummy so do I really care that I measure an extra half to one inch around the waist now? But when I took that pic i started thinking how I need to lose another 20# or something like that and that I look fat and blah blah blah. All these other women on the forums (including many of you on this forum!) get down to the low end of the normal BMI - why can't I? I had to just STOP that destructive thinking because I am healthy, I know I look good. This weight and size is a good balance of healthy, looks and practical maintenance. In all honesty, even if I were 20# heavier I would still be "fine". I will never be a runway model and I don't even really WANT to be that thin but the brain takes off like a runaway train thinking that no matter - it is never.good.enough. I call Bullshit on that whole self torture. We have more important things to do in life than worry about smooshy thighs or less than perfect waist. Last night I watched a very unenjoyable Woody Allen movie "Blue Jasmine" - in the end I thought what a waste that this woman lives such an unhappy life and spews her negativity at everybody. Everything is a drama and misery - what if she had taken even 10% of her angst and channeled it to helping others or saving the planet or something useful... It isn't the same as our body image situation since we tend to spew that garbage at ourselves rather than others, but it reminded me of the wasted energy that hate/loathing/destructive thoughts bring. I only have so many breaths, so many hours to live and I am NOT going to spend them hating myself for having smooshy thighs. I invite us all to really think about that. Sorry, I didn't mean to lecture - I really didn't but life is just so precious, and for now, we just have the one we have - we need to all treat it that way as though it were worth a million times more than the hope diamond or the total net worth of Microsoft... you know - it is irreplaceable.

GT you once told me I moved out into the visible girls club....and you were right. at first it was uncomfortable that people noticed me, looked at me. It wasn't my imagination, it really happens. I am finally pretty okay with it. Look at me, don't look, like what you see, don't like - it's pretty much the same to me. A lifetime of being invisible meant that it took awhile to get to this comfortable spot.

Fiddle, today I drove past a Dairy Queen with a sign out "half prices Today" and I was eating light (hungry) due to evening out plans. Years past no WAY could I have just kept driving but I did. That wasn't the sleeve, that was 100percent me. It is hard to understand when you are pre op 1 What makes the sleeve so different than anything else I tried and 2 Doesn't this miracle last forever Sleeve helps most people who really work it by permantly reducing food volume and at least temporarily reduce appetite. The wise take advantage of the "I don't like food anymore" months and get as much weight off as possible. Why did I drive past that dairy queen? I LIKE being fit, I LIKE how I look and feel at goal, I like fitting in my wardrobe and no dang ice cream is gonna ruin that for me. The sleeve only helped in that it is how I lost the weight....now, I need to keep working it in order to keep the success.

Started at 308 now in the 147-150 range

oh, and my standard breakfast is a veggie based egg white omelette... bell peppers, brocolli that kind of thing are great choices for a low glycumic index type food. I rarely eat bread, Pasta, potato, fruit or rice even now - but don't worry about the low GI veggies

Mental health update - a few weeks ago I was really worried I was losing it. I would wake up each day feeling like a caged lion pacing his enclosure. I had so much angst - I couldn't exercise my way out of it, couldn't talk to people out of it, couldn't even drink my way out of it (okay, didn't try that very hard, but you know what I mean - just no relief). I had one apppointment with a therapist who can prescribe meds. She used some words to describe my situation that was like a fresh perspective - you know when you only have an hour to boil down everything it tends to frame the essentials. It was an eye opener. Then she came up a plan that is based around me getting sleep first and using anxiety meds very limited way to get work done. Part of the problem was my anxiety and nervous energy was preventing me from getting any paid work done which was causing me even MORE anxiety. I was genuinely getting worried about the impact on my career and reputation at work. It really helped that I had kept a log and could spot the patterns. I cannot begin to say what a difference getting enough sleep has made. I am not "cured" but I am functioning again. I am more optimistic. I am happily singing along on the radio again. I am upset about what is going on with my EX, but I am able to function. I do often have to take half a xanax when I get choked up about something - ie can't focus at work, but then am able to push through. But, it isn't every day and I am getting things done. We agreed to a 6 week trial period and i am only into it just under 2 weeks and see significant progress. The goal is that I no longer use the xanax and return to being productive without the wind up and anxiety.

Well, I ordered on the corset on the 16th... just seems like it has been longer...ha. I don't think i got a tracking number though.

I also have a big frame and even though my weight is high by some people's standards - at 150 I look healthy, feel good, wear a size medium top and 6 or 8 pants in most brands - I like the size i am.

How long did it take for the corsets to come for those of you that ordered... still waiting...

I think it is a little irresponsible to assure you that you will lose to 150#. There are no guarantees, the sleeve is a tool. You will lose weight pretty easily at first, but over time it becomes more about your choices with the tool supporting you. Having said that, I could have NEVER lost 160# to get to 150# current weight without the sleeve. I am a big advocate - don't get me wrong - but it takes lifestyle changes, focus and long term committment. Everyone is different, but for me, I had to realize that I can NEVER eat like someone who was never obese even after losing all that weight. Weight just finds me - I can't eat the typical 2000 calorie a day average woman's diet.

I approached the sleeve as the "last time" I am going to lose a bunch of weight. No regain. That meant I really thought about everything that didn't work in the past. One of the things I used to do was keep a fat wardrobe. I owned clothes that ranged from a size 16 to about 28W (around a 3X) to accommodate my slide up and down the scale. this time, I got rid of clothes as soon as they were too big. When I gained 5# last summer and my favorite fitted jeans were feeling a little tight i sucked it up, didn't buy new ones and did 5:2 to get rid of those 5 plus a few more. I find that this method of being really tough about clothing (ie stretch pants are a slippery slope back to 300# theory) has helped me alot since I don't track food. Clothing and the scale are my "accountability" tools. I can buy smaller clothes, or same but NOT bigger. Anyway, for some odd and unconscious reason, I have been hanging on to oversize underwear. I didn't realize it at first. Then, when I realized it, I thought, oh, I will surely need these after plastic surgery as I was visualizing horrible pain and needing to wear the loosest of clothing. That was a crock, I could wear my regular size underwear right after my plastic surgery! So, I started throwing away my huge granny panties and I realized I had tucked some away in the back of the pajama drawer... etc. Just yesterday I found another two pair put away in a storage bin in my bedroom... tossed em. I am not sure... I hope it is the last of them. I did not make this hoarding decision consciously and I find it very humorous but also interesting to reflect on WHY. I suspect that this little part of me holds doubt about maintenance and this is my physical expression of it. I think if I regain 160# finding fitting undies is the least of my problems so it is pretty weird.

Quick question re the low Iron. Have have never had low iron, didn't even get it after plastics where at least in theory I lost alot of blood. I don't supplement for it. If I get my bloodwork checked yearly, would that show problems before they become critical? I have "graduated" from my surgeon's two year program and don't need to be seen by him anymore but he invited me to come every 6 or 12 months or whenever I want to - lifelong if need be - and I think an annual blood draw from a bariatric point of view is a good idea even though so far my labs are always "perfect" this thread has pointed out that can change.

I talked to the head of personal training at the gym about my concerns 1. joint - knee/hips and 2. excess sweeling in ab area which is caused by doing too much even though i am 3 months post plastics. my waist measures about 1-2" larger then it did before i started at the gym and I haven't gained weight. The personal trainer "manager" remembered me...haha.... he remembered my looks, isn't that funny? He was there during my last workout and agreed that I was on a pretty high intensity program. It is because the easy stuff is easy for me - i am fit. Doesn't change the fact that they are about to kill me with the current workout approach. anyway, he is going to review my file and help create a safer workout. I need to take another week off - still do other workouts but give a chance for everything to settle down and we go from there. Of course my concern is they will give me something that doesn't build me stronger, but I have to keep the faith that I will find a nice middle ground. Personally, I think they should give me a free session or something as a thank you for being a good client and calmly explaining the situation, including how much I LIKE my trainer but rather that I fear he lacks the experience and maturity to understand that I need to be treated like someone recoverying. I am not sure, but I think my young trainer sees me as a MILF...LOL... the risk of plastics is you look better then your underlying structure really is. I don't think he sees me as a middle age lady with no cartilidge left and even though i keep telling him that....he just doesn't seem to believe me.

I am blessed that I have friends who helped me through this transition. I didn't lose friends, my family was supportive HOWEVER, my life has in many ways been turned on end. i like to think of it that I the real me is now showing through rather then being buried. I also make my own health a very high priority these days.... other things get neglected if need be... I have been told that i am much friendlier, more approachable and basically just have a high level of positive energy - it ATTRACTS people! I surely look better too, and get attention from the opposite sex, but that is a secondary thing. I am no longer invisible - to both men and women. I feel no resentment about it - I like myself better this way so no wonder others feel the same way. Having said all that, it hasn't always been easy. I am no longer willing to settle for things in life that simply do not support my good mental, emotional and physical health. That caused some big changes. I am going through a great deal of inner change.... I am turning 50 this year, empty nest, single.... it is a time of deep reflection about what the next 30 years look like so to speak. My weight is no longer a reason to block me from ANYTHING. This means trying new hobbies, being confident in new social situations - considering even career changes!

I think that it is normal to feel hunger when you haven't eaten in hours. The difference for me is that it is more... appropriate. It isn't all consuming 24/7 like it used to be. I do find that I am super sensitive to carbs - maybe i always was and just didnt realize it... but carbs, even healthy carbs like fruit, trigger hunger for me.

Okay, in my seminar class they provided so much junkie food - cookies, brownies, morning pastries, CARROT cake - good lord. Resisted all that, but did eat a package of almonds or cashews each day which was two servings. Yikes, that was like 700-800 calories in just nuts on top of my normal food. Salty too. Guess what, my 2# regain since joining the gym disappeared. I sometimes wonder if that whole startvation mode thing does have some credence (not that i was starving mind you) and this extra shot of fat, carbs that nuts provide shook things up. Today should be a fasting day, but it won't be - I am too emotionally wracked. If I can just keep things going for now... well, that is the best I can do.

Good wayy to shop for a local surgeon is read reviews on realself.com

I have decided to put the trainer on hold...at least till my swelling is down. I emailed surgeon Dr Sauceda and he was a bit concerned about it. I think it is just too much. Thinking to do the group classes awhile as those work me without leaving me useless for a day or too due to fatigue. I think I should get advice from an orthopedics doc too...Irenes story is something to learn from. I LOOK fit, am aerobically fit, so it is easy to forget I have a damaged body... Denise, I have no idea what to say to Bill but I know that when someone insisted I be exclusive (ie not date or meet anyone else) after knowing him 90 minutes it was a red flag and I never saw him again. Your situation is different but be aware that he might feel a little pressured. And yes it is the 3day seminar based on that book/system. Life changing stuff to examine questions like"what's at your center/core" A older man ihave worked with for nearly 20years came in during break to say high to his team members in the class. He got to my table and stared at me a long time and said "I just have to keep checking that is really you." Of course he is talking about my looks, but I heard it as about the me that is really ME. That is how I sometimes feel. The old me would have never let my EX do this. The new me has no idea how to save him without drowning with him. So what really is at my center and is it still changing?

I don't feel food addicted but HUNGRY. I have blamed it on uber hard workouts, and in fact have alot of swelling going on, think I may be over doing it... of course my stress level is sky high over my EX deciding to live in a car. I have so many emotions over it... In Coveys 7 habits class this week which is perfect....good class to take when self examining life.

Only 5.5 pounds of skin which amazes me considering i am 180 some pounds lighter than my "lifetime" high weight. Dr Sauceda info is on page 5 of this thread I think. IF not, you can google him and look for his patient page on obesity help (link is on page 5 of this thread). At 3 months out I am finally feeling pretty normal again and it is hard for me to even imagine going back to life with embarrasing arms and a tummy that sat on my lap and inner thighs that were just horrible looking to me I am not perfect, but I have a body that I feel very comfortable and happy with and honestly.. even proud of. The only real problem area remaining is the extra skin on my torso under my arms - the infamous side boobs. They aren't THAT bad and is easily disguised by clothing. That can be fixed with an upper body lift, but for me, that is just a step too much and my surgeon did NOT recommend it for me. Dr Sauceda would say our goal is significant improvement but when you seek perfection you will never be happy...

Tonight I will look at my quotes but dr Harris was the most affordable of the surgeons I saw. He may not have more than3 of men with similar situation. He wasnt able to use photos from his previous location whereas some others have like a 25 year history so have volumes of photos. The lack of pix was the main reason I wasn't comfortable but that was a year ago and I trust that medical practice overall so I think he is a good choice.

Sounds good. Did you see any photos of similar patients? I am dubious about full strength at 6 weeks. I am at 12 weeks and now doing intense workouts - I was cleared to resume exercise beyond walking at 6 weeks, but was not full strength. I get a little swelling even now on days I exercise really hard.

Sarah that is amazing. Would love to see photos!

The veterans forum thread about losing too much, a serious problem for a few. I just really wondered when the root cause was a high bmr that existed pre op. I ate about 2500-3500 cals pre op.