CowgirlJane

Coops...I learned alot from a tv show called what not to wear. Shape is #1 - I have gotten pretty good at telling what will look good based on shape. Color etc is much lower in priority. So, bottom line, it's the dresses fault, YOU are gorgeous!

Ok don't judge me..lol.. Sunday afternoon I heard from Steven. He didn't want me to come over because he dislocated a shoulder, hitting a tree while doing crazy off track skiing that he promised he doesn't do anymore..Haha....as he says it's not like he is 50 and young anymore. He goes into hermit mode if he doesn't feel at his best....I am opposite I want cuddles and touch when I hurt. I didn't try to talk him into it but he invited me over. He told me how much I have influenced him...changing him...just that he would see me when he felt and looked like crap. He sees a counselor and told me about a bunch of little ways my words have influenced him. It makes me feel good because as little as I see him....he made it his mission for me to see myself as he does and I owe so much of my self confidence to his bolstering me up...and he has changed me too. One of the key things I used to try to hide bad parts of me. He accepts me, warts and all...and I have been practicing this behavior...honesty,asking for forgiveness, telling people how much they mean to me etc and it is astounding how much long time friends and family see me changing...e layer....but it is supported by a friend (Steven) who just brings it out in me. I never knew I was such a damn liar until I started telling the truth about my fears, emotional state..etc. Everything is NOT ok dammit but I can still be worthy of love even when I am not charming,full of smiles and jokes.

Somebody posted an article about water loading which really works. About two hours after a meal you start really slugging water. It not only gets you hydrated but it extends the time before you are hungry again. Constipation is a terrible feeling. If i feel a bit of a problem, I drink an herbal tea called smooth moves, doesn't work quite like a laxative, but gently helps. I suspect more water and more veggies will do alot of good. Question about friend requests on this site. I have a million of them. I think when we switched from the old to bariatric pal my friends got reset or something. anyway, I have yet to figure out the purpose of being friends on this site, I mean, it is not like facebook where you are essentially subscribing to their posts. What is the point of friending on this site?

Cheri, you don't have to be our cheerleader. I would like to say that vets who share their struggles ARE modeling good behavior. If ANYBODY thinks that getting the sleeve and losing 100# makes their life perfect, they are in for a rude awakening. Modeling the behavior of how you handle the adversity, keep taking care of yourself, and if you do have a regain, work it back off etc etc - that is what all the newbies (and many of us not so newbie) can really learn about!

nancy, you sound like a person that is hurting inside. I have been there, many of us have. I don't know if you are ready for the surgery - it IS hard work. I have been super successful, but I struggled mightily during the preop time. I was so anxious, I was so addicted to sugary/carby food. I hated my looks. I was in massive physical pain; feeling disabled. i couldn't enjoy my hobbies. Shopping - oh lord - clothes shopping was torture. I was hungry 24/7 - knowing I needed to STOP EATING but just couldn't. I was a basket case. The first surgeon I went to sent me to a dietician as part of the preop - she handed me this binder that just looked like another diet. He wanted me to get the gastric bypass as he thought I was too fat and had already failed at the band - so needed something more effective then the sleeve. I think my emotional reaction was a bit similiar to what you wrote. It was overwhelming. so, I tried some more crazy ass diets... again. I think I did nutrisystem (lost 30; regained 45 if I recall correctly) and that hormone thing - I felt horrible for the couple of weeks I stuck it out. Anyway, failure failure failure... AGAIN. And fatter than ever. So, I saw an ad for a 2 year program to overcome obesity without surgery. I lucked out bigtime that day I called. The director of the program happened to take my call. I told her my story and she was straight with me and said "with your history, you need weight loss surgery, your obesity disease is too advanced to have much of a chance without it". She said one thing that convinced me to go meet the good doctors at puget sound surgical and to consider the sleeve... she said "I know this will work for you because you never give up". she was right, as misguided as my weight loss attempts might have been - I never quit trying. Well, the rest is history... I am so grateful to have found this tool that really helped me. Having said all that - surgery doesn't "fix you" but it is an effective tool when you are ready to make huge life changes. sometimes a person has to hit bottom first, you sound like you feel a lot of despair - I don't think that means you will fail. Maybe seeing a counselor or somebody to talk things over with could be of help? Also, I read the thread you are talking about. Most everyone was quite supportive of you - I know it stings when people say stuff - but really, all of us are just strangers on a keyboard - don't let anything any of us say hurt you like that.. I used to get my feelings hurt all the time, and it never happens now. I think it is part of the "state of mind" when I was at my rock bottom.

So everyone reaches a point in the forums where they just can't keep reading/answering the same questions. There is even a search function but people don't work that way. Most feel a strong desire to ask their questions and share their worries as though they were the first to experience it. It is part of the support process. Many "vets" leave at that point when they are tired of what seems like repeats. A better solution is to realize there is a whole fresh crop of people eager to answer the same ole questions. .... they help newbies and I think it helps many of us to share info. It keeps us focused. I have been on this forum for years and honestly don't even open most of those type of post unless it is a topic I feel I can add something to.

I love 40-50s styles - thanks for the link Florinda !

oh, Steven did call me back, so he is redeemed.

Holy Crap! I am confident driving in snow I live in Munich Germany for 2 years! tonight, I was scared. On a crazy ass whim i went into Seattle tonight and ignored the weather forecasts that are usually wrong anyway. Way home, the highway I was on was at a STOP due to the snow ( remember, forgive us for no snowplows and lots of hillls). I was on the Eastside of Seattle coming down a serious hill on the Interstate 520. Shit. Dead stop... rolling at like 1-5 MPH. Anyhoo I was terrified as most cars were spinning out and i was coming down the hilll more or less sideways in a mini cooper with slick type tires. I called Steven (lives near that area), who true to character did not answer, and left him a panic stricken vmail. Then I got my freaking head together, put my mini cooper in manual mode and took that hill in first gear. I kid you not - navigating around the SUVs and other cars spun out or sliding downhilll sideways. At one point, i was considering this car coming toward me as we were both sliding down the hill sideways... wondering if I would make it! The mini cooper does NOt have snow tires and is rear wheel drive - this is NOt a snow car! The fact I could switch to manual mode and more importantly... dumb cow that I am, was wearing high heels and wasn't walking out... I was MOTIVATED to make this work, I switched to manual transmission mode and came down that hill very slowly, weaving around spun out cars.. Then, I got to my neighborhood... run up the hills and first gear for the downhills.... remember, NO snowplows. Made it home, although my driveway is a hill and my car was complaining ,,,, but we made it!

Oh Cheri - when it rains it pours. I am so sorry for all this you are going through. You are a huge success so don't let your current troubles ever take that feeling away from you. (((HUGS)))

Yesterday I wandered into a custom jewlry shop - mostly fine jewlrey, but she had some vintage costume jewelry. The earrings are from the 1940s that she retrofitted for pierced ears. The necklace is just so pretty and sparkly. i don't care for them together, but i thought they were quite the find.

Lots of different opinions but I am late 40s woman and I have heard this from other women too that too much exercise does not help with weight management. I do much better with mostly high intensity type workouts, no more than an hour maybe 4-5days a week. That is supplemented with generally being active, walks, hikes, horse stuff,house and farm work. I did not make good fitness progress doing workout machines at the gym. Long duration elliptical etc probably helped me get fitter but it was quitting that and switching to high intensity shorter duration that got me to goal...combined with low carb eating.

I will definitely explore fillers but don't know too much about them. I wish my neck wattle was gone....but I would feel uncomfortable changing my face drastically just because... Daisy I am so glad you mention the numbness because I have a numb belly button and it's weird. I really have to consider that numbness risk to the face carefully.

One reason I am content with a BMI in the upper end of normal range versus say 18-20 is that I feel that I look more youthful. Not just my face my whole profile. We are all different and have different tastes but to me skinny can look older in women. My friend is a skinny guy and he calls me betty boop because I have some roundness left at 148 that I would not have at say 125. Being the smart fella that he is, he assures me that my roundness/ curves are hot...lol. I am 5'5". Works for me, although I would l like to be under 145...but it is very individual and I know many WANT to get really thin. To each her own. What I do for my face is protect it from the sun (and have for years) use oil of Olay regenerist products (have for years), don't smoke, eat healthy, stay hydrated and picked a mother with beautiful skin. I worried alot about it too and when I was losing weight I really thought my face looked awful...a type of dismorphia really. I finally realized that the last time I saw my face non obese I was like 22 so I took some time to accept the late 40s face looking back at me. I am over it, love being healthy and am proud of my looks. If I EVER doubt myself I just have to look at some before photos..... Don't let these fears cast doubt. Being a healthy weight has so many rewards.

I am 49, everybody tells me I look younger than I did when obese.

haha And for hosiery, I was thinking either sheer (ie flesh colored) or the very lightest of black sheer. I like the idea of the black, but I worry about being in black head to toe. I have a silver little handbag/large wallet made for this kind of thing. It is a decent brand too, nice looking. If I can get earrings that have blue and silver that might be nice. I also have a thin silver belt, but i think I will skip that. And I too like the idea of the bracelet. I am not opposed to a necklace, but i just thought pearls are too... I don't know... old fashioned (although i LOVE Audrey Heburn even though she was a skinny bitch). I will try to get a pic of me in that dress if I can... I look like hell right now, been doing deep cleaning, moving furniture etc...

They actually did issue a dress code for the cocktail party. For women it was a cocktail dress OR formal top and slacks. The men it was quite specific too - but I don't recall what it was exactly - dark shirt if they didn't wear a suit or tux type thing. The reception did not have a dress code, so that one i will definately wear just gussied up business clothes. I do better in dresses (or jeans) over slacks because I have a skinny ass and short legs. Slacks almost always need to be tailored to fit me well whereas just about any dress off the rack works okay. So, I do work for European company but this event is the annual sales and service meeting for the Americas so it is mostly USA, some Central/south America and of course Canada so American sensibilities prevail. Did I mention it is about 90% + men?

Love the links. I like the idea of the blue nails with blue earrings. Damn, nails done, one more thing to add to my to do list. I do my own nails normally but i might need to go all out and have them done. i need to do it AFTER I pick up and move hay this weekend...haha. It's hard to be a girlie girl when you move hay and horse manure everyday...LOL I also agree on being careful about too matchy matchy. I have some black shoes that might work, need to dig em out. I love those blue shoes, very comfy but i see what you mean about the texture. A certain person also told me they look too much like business shoes (really?) but his tastes perhaps run a little more adventurous than average. Thank you all!!!

I opted (was given a choice) to have mine done in two stages to theoretically reduce risk of leaks. They knew I would have massive scar tissue so surgery one was band removal and scrape away scar tissue. Surgery #2 was the sleeve about 2.5 months later. I do not believe there is hard evidence that this is a better approach but it is what I did. Part of the reason is I wasn't ready to committ to the sleeve but that evil band HAD to come out. The 2.5 months of dying of hunger while gaining weight made me realize that I really really really did need to revise to the sleeve. That alone was a good reason for me to do it in 2 steps - I was SO ready by the time I was sleeved since I felt I was eating myself to death. I guess people using mobile devices can't see my siggie - but I have lost 160# since being sleeved. I weigh 148 right now. I got to my goal of 158 in 14 months... lost the last 10 pounds after I was stable at goal for awhile. i have been enormously successful in my book. i had no complications and love being fit and active. I think part of the reason for my success (again, no data to back this up) is because the stomach damage scar tissue was removed so when they did the sleeve they could get a pretty good / typical sleeve. sometimes they can't because of the scar tissue and other damages they can't make the sleeve as good as a virgin sleever.

I posted on the ladies room about accessories for my formal cocktail party. I think I need to put the dress ON and go jewelry shopping...LOL. Man, I would stand out in casual Seattle that is for sure. Anyway, if you have any recent experience on what is hip at cocktail parties, please do advise. I also have some black shoes i could wear... I was gonna return them but think I will pull them out and see how they look. what I didn't mention is that i was invited to a big deal executive reception next week. Only like 10 of use non executives (peons? ha) are invited. This means i have suddenly been noticed. I had a horrible year at work in my opinion due to my emotional issues and distractions and surgery... and in general my life being turned upside down... but I had a couple of very high visibility things go really right. I challenged the status quo on a couple of things that wowed some director level people since I was able to improve some things that had always seemed "immovable" so got a little buzz started and they talked to their bosses. I got lucky considering what a screw up I have generally been. anyway, I don't really know WHAT I want career wise but I want to take advantage of my 15 minutes of fame. I am not trying to look amazing but appropriate, noticable... you know, someone you could visualize promoting BUT remember this is also a fun/social event so being too businessy isn't right either. Let's be real, my acceptable looks (as opposed to when I was obese) is part of why I am being noticed I am quite sure. That's life in the big city and I am over it. Ah, don't you sometimes just wish there was a uniform though?

WOO HOO!!! congrats on your wonderful success!

The front of the dress is the slightly lower neckline, the back has a button. Kinda hard to see in pix. The dress is a bit body conscious, form fitting, all black. these are the shoes I am considering to wear with.

I picked a sleeveless dress with a fairly high neckline. I am thinking of skipping the necklace because I would feel like June Cleaver in a close fitting string of pearls and not sure what else would go with it. The neckline part of the dress is lacy so I think it is simple and enough of a statement itself. Thinking of dangling earrings and my hair up. Cant afford diamonds so considering some kind of dangling earrings that are NOT fake diamonds but something else. I have dark hair - lady at Macys suggested black dangling earrings since hair will be up ... will still be noticable. when I put my hair up, I always let loose some curly tendrils. Shoes - well, I have black and I have some cool blue ones that might be just a pop of color. Then I have some pretty hot shootie bootie shoes.... but this is a work related event, so maybe not. Ideas? This event is a big deal, high visibility so it is important to me to look good, but very career appropriate and I NEVER go to cocktail parties so have no idea what is hip. Help!

Very interesting analysis of weight. I think part of it is that the scale does not always immediately reflect choices and sometime it does. I was up more than 5 pounds and my clothes fit the same...weird. I have lost those pounds and can't see where they came from.

I don't mean to sound bad but how much CAN you eat is the wrong question...it's how much should you eat. Hunger all the time... I would check a few things. Acidy tummy feels like hunger. Try adding a ppi for a few weeks Are you hydrated? Thirst feels like hunger. Do you know how to Fluid load between meals to increase length of time before hunger? Do you eat enough at a meal to feel satiated? Helps with grazing management. Do you follow sleeve rules...protein first etc etc Are you letting sugary or bad carb foods in? That makes me hungrier than anything. I even avoid most fruits as the sugar makes me hungry. Bread Pasta taters....all make me hungry. Could you be searching for emotional comfort in food again? The ole head hunger thing. Anyway some things to think about. Hang in there!!