CowgirlJane

I was advised to get the bypass originally due to my high BMI and failure with the lapband. At the time I could not wrap my mind around the bypass so had decided to stay obese and miserable. I contacted a lifestyle based program and they told me I needed surgery and to consider the sleeve. I have been very successful with the sleeve and maintaining for awhile but I no longer have the negative feeling about the bypass. I think you should talk it over with your surgeon and do some reading. Personal stories like mine can lead you down a path and we don't really know you medical profile. There are some good reasons to choose one surgery over the other and that should be discussed with a surgeon.

Not everyone is the same. My emotional upheavals happened AFTER the first year too. I think counseling is a good idea, I also think a good relationship is worth saving and is more important than many other things.

Ann... that was my anti WLS argument pre sleeve. It was my sleep apnea doctor who said "let's say you gain back 50% in 5 years, aren't you still better off then gaining year after year... ?" I thought he had a valid point. Now I have been maintaining for a bit but am aware that 3-5 years out is regain land (potentially). I am on it like white on rice. I watch it with the same diligence (not perfection but intention) as weight loss phase. I really like being slim and I have yet to find any food as good as this feels.

I was banded in 2001. I weighed 272. I lost 30 pounds in the first month as my surgeon had me on a liquid diet for a whole month. It took me another 11 months to drop an additional 40 - I exercised daily and really tried hard. I never got under 200# and started having severe reflux and had to have all Fluid removed. I was not a success story. Once the fluid was removed, I regained and hit my lifetime high of 332 by 2005. I didn't expect it to be a cakewalk, but i really thought it would help me more with appetite control, portion control. I tried really hard but I needed more support and education than I received ... also, as a tool, it just didn't work that well for me. I revised to the sleeve in December 2011 which has just worked better for me as a tool AND I sought out a surgeon with a very detailed 2 year follow up support plan that was mandatory. I am down to 140 now and maintaining...

My doctor recommended a supplement called Veinoblend a "vein support" supplement by Vitanica. I am sure there are others... I am not sure how much it helped because I improved my eating at the same time but I am no longer covered in bruises so i do think it helped. what i find interesting is that my blood work is perfect, and i had it tested when i was in the worst of my "difficult" time so it doesn't make much sense to me.

I went years with no physical relationship with my EX and I blamed it on my weight. I felt I couldn't complain because I looked so bad. I realize now that it wasn't the issue at all. I tried talking and sometimes that doesn't work but it's a great start! In my case "talking" clarified the situation and I am good friends with my EX..but he is my EX for a reason.

Florinda, we always judge ourselves so harshly. I have been going to these social group dance parties and frankly MOST of the women over about 30 look a few months pregnant if you want to put it that way. A belly roll is where those extra 20 sit. It is age related progression. I keep getting asked about how I got a flat stomach at my age by this fun group of chicks. since they are casual aquaintances I don't particularly want to discuss losing the equivelent of a medium sized man, having a normal BMI now and then having plastics.... A lady I ride with is as skinny as a stick - she is itty bitty teeny tiny and has been slim her whole life. She is in her mid 60s, stays very fit, but has a bit of a belly too. It is just what happens to women - the difference between being 20 and being not 20 sadly. don't be so hard on yourself. Just be healthy and the "good enough" looks follow is what I think. You are a beautiful sexy lady and need to be kinder to yourself.

I can't explain it, but I am doing great with weight management in spite of the crapstorm. I dropped back down to 140 and decided I needed to eat more and am now in the 142-143 range. I actually am interesting in maintaining in the 135-140 range if I can do it healthily and not just from stopping eating. So for now, i am using that as a barometer. I think I still use certain 5:2 techniques even though I am not doing 5:2. Example, I try to have a good long overnight fast period many days of the week. Like, maybe don't eat between say 7pm and maybe 11am perhaps 4-5 days a week. If I am really active, I will have a protein drink that is super low carb. I also mix it up so not every day is the same. If I feel hungry or really low energy I eat heartily and sometimes actually lose weight doing that. I hope I am able to maintain this comfortable balance because I really like how I look right now, I like how clothes fit etc. The only thing I really feel I want to improve is more strength, more muscles like i used to have. I sorta lost fitness between plastics, gym injury, depression and the like. I am still very active (moving hay, moving horse poop, riding, hiking etc) but i am not doing any kind of formal strength training which i want to do. I am going to try ... one last time... to learn to couples dance. I have always felt physically awkward and sorta feared dancing for that reason. I tried dancing lessons during the last stages of my relationship with my EX and even though I had lost much of my weight by then (I was maybe 180-200# range) I just felt uncomfortable. I think part of it was we were uncomfortable pretending to be a couple at that point... not sure how much crossed over into the dancing. I have just loved going out and doing "free style" rock and roll dancing with that social group I am a part of so maybe I will be more comfortable showing off my two left feet couples dancing now? I know this sounds very shallow, but I feel like skinny people get away with being awkard and off beat and maybe a little sweaty and it's sorta cute whereas a fat woman just looks bad unless they are perfectly groomed etc. I fully realize that is a self image issue that I have, but it is how I feel about myself. Oddly, I never think that way when I see other overweight people - I love it when the fluffy people get out and just do it!!! And lets be honest, even in a size 4 pant, I sometimes still fluffy myself (ah the dismorphia rears its head from time to time) but I do feel NORMAL and that is all I ever wanted! Anyway, it has always been a dream of mine to be a "dancer" - you know someone that knows the steps. So, it's like I tell other people, if not now, when???

I also looked at lelo...which model? I have never been into toys but life is such that I don't have the real deal these days...

It's a real shame that the mobile app people can't see signature or profile. There is so much to be seen and learned (not just mine bit in general). If you log in from a laptop you can click on profile and many of us have before and afters in there - I found that very motivational during the pre op and losing phases. I started at 308 and now weigh 140 so over 160# lost. I have lost over 180 from my lifetime high

I lost alot.. My mons area never had hanging skin but oh my....the tummy, thighs and arms sure did. It didn't bother my boyfriend but the day he MOVED my belly skin out of"the way" during an intimate moment was the day I decided I needed plastics..Haha. I was mortified. Anyway, due to the massive weight loss I needed a lower body lift which is a tummy tuck plus. As stated previously, you are pulled up!

You can fail to maintain a healthy weight after ANY WLS. I just found the sleeve to be a better tool and with no pain over the band. I also learned a few lessons along the way and surely have more to learn. Honestly just spending time reading posts , talking to people, go to real life support groups etc. I did that for awhile before taking the plunge to revise to the sleeve.

Yeah, but my bruising issues happened this year - a few years post op. It may be a deficiency. My blood work is PERFECT though so could never find a reason. I bought a supplement that is supposed to help, I am eating well and I seem less black and blue these days!

My sister and niece staged an intervention. I am 5'5" and when I got down to about 155 range they were very concerned. What I realized is that they have only really seen me as overweight over obese so I looked too thin. Also, immediately after rapid weight loss you do tend to have a certain "look" that normalizes out over time. When I told them my actual weight and that it is healthy for my height there response was "you look about 125 and still losing". They felt better knowing that my doc feels it is a healthy weight etc. and that I weighed more than they thought. I am about 140 or so right now. I got another round of negative feedback but once again I was just honest... I am not trying to lose more and my weight is still very healthy for my height. A male friend told me I look GREAT right here and to stop because pretty soon my a$$ would completely disappear. (He couldn't help but throw in to try really hard to maintain here and not regain - gee thanks dude). As blunt as he was, he is right. My hips measure 36" and I don't really want a skinnier butt - I like how I look, I like my clothing size. Everyone else is adjusting to my current size and I really don't get razzed about it anymore. Or if I do, it is a compliment - my close girlfriends call me "skinny b*itch" which is a huge compliment after the lifetime of being the hugest woman in the room - and we all know it is a compliment so it's fine! My advice is to smile and nod, or if it is someone you really care about (like my sis) actually talk to them about it. Find your own happy place and don't be too worried about others - they will get over it. I am finding that people are forgetting now how huge i used to be. I showed a before pic to my own grown sons and they couldn't believe it - they have become used to how I look now.

To some extent I don't care if it is a physical stretch or a change in the feeling of restriction. I know how to maintain good restriction and I continue to behave that way so it works. I was sleeved Dec 2011

I was banded in Germany in 2001. It had been used for several years there by then so I believe there are a few from 20 years ago. There were also a few other procedures from the past like a mesh thing that was bad news...

While it may be anecdotal it has been my observation that major life changes often end long term relationships. I observe this in my friends - doesn't have to be weight loss, often other changes like new found confidence due to career or maybe the kids moving out (empty nesters) - anything that shakes up the status quo. For me, i was in an unmarried LTR with a really good guy, supportive of my weight loss efforts but he hadn't been "in love" with me for a very long time. I tolerated living like roommates for years and frankly did blame it on my weight. After I lost 125# and asked him if he noticed my looks any different and he was essentially indifferent, i started to get the clue that his lack of interest in me was not weight related. I sorta realize now that we should have ended things maybe 5-7 years ago, but out of respect and caring and family orientation we were sticking it out. I had to face the question... do I want to spend the rest of my life in an unmarried "friendship" with no intimacy, doing nothing together and essentially half way between being single, and not really single. The answer was NO. When I was obese, I couldn't even think that way and frankly I thought it was all because of my horrible physical condition. We are both better off apart and are still friends - that never changed - we are just living a more honest and authentic life in many ways. I realize my story is not typical (ie no jealousy or any of that) but my point is that new found confidence makes people start asking themselves if they are really thriving in their relationships or are they just getting by....

Last night shoveled out bettys kitchen guest bedroom and main bath so her dad from AZ can stay there. It was a potentially depressing task but my son helped and we attacked it like madmen and it was okay. I am still a little ill from digging out the kitchen sink but mission accomplished! I have let go of the guilt I feel that she was living like this due to the tumor. Weight is stable in the 142 range so feel like I am doing good. I still think of Steven but I ended it with him for good and we parted with loving words so I am ok with that too. Sunshine...blue skies...good friends...kid at home...it all helps. I had hoped to go to the ocean with horses and friends this weekend but nieces funeral is Sat so that won't happen. I have plans to go riding and dancing Friday night though!

There are a few long timers but most don't post here anymore. I revised from band 2.5 years ago after 10 years banded. I have had great success with sleeve...if you click on my profile you can see details.

I am doing okay. Just grinding through what needs to happen when someone is terminal. Cleaned her house today.

Kelly, not sure if this gives you any comfort, but I was about 3 months out before I started feeling human again. Eating took such effort, it was a little depressing actually. I wasn't horrible nauseaous but didn't have much of an appetite and was slightly "off" feeling. The opportunity here is it is a time to really change your emotional and mental relationship with food and for me it really got better. At times it was frustrating because I emotionally wanted food but it made me feel crappy to eat much at all. By the time I was say 6 months out, that seldom happened and some of it was learning how to eat right, not eat too much, to eat slowly, to reduce acidic and spicy foods etc. If you do not start feeling better soon, please follow up with your surgeon and NUT since I don't think it is your fate to always feel this way. This should be temporary.

Remove part of the stomach does create malabsorbtion. ..I agree with Lisa it is false that sleevers don't need supplements.

My losses dropped to about 2-3 pounds a month before I got to goal. I had to make big changes to get to goal - I worked with a NUT to figure it out. Lots of us that were very high BMI never do get to a "normal" BMI and I think that is okay too! This is a time to really think about what you really want, what is realistic to maintain and all that. I started at 308, I weigh about 140 now. Is my life that much better then it was when I weighed 160? No it really isn't. Plastics helped alot with me seeing myself in a "better" light but I noticed that people who don't reach a certain "self love" even with the skin are never happy with their plastics either. Like, I still have extra skin on the side of my torso, sorta the "side boob" thing. I have very little if any "extra fat" it's all skin and there is no practical solution to it... but I don't mind too much, I still love how I look. If I ever get bummed about it, I just look around at other 50 year old women and realize that I look pretty damn good even compared to those who were never super morbidly obese like I was so "get over it cowgirl"!

Swizz - Steven can sound like the bad guy but he really isn't. When we met he made it very clear he was a terrible boyfriend and at the time I wasn't looking for a "boyfriend" and I can only say he was key in me transforming how I see myself. He made me feel like a beauty queen when I was 20# heavier and pre plastics. He will always take no credit for that, telling me I feel that way because I "am" beautiful and sexy and desirable woman. Funny that I have NEVER EVER felt that way in my life and it gives me a self confidence in that aspect of my life that I think normal women have in their 20s. I cannot explain how big of a deal that gift is to me. After losing weight, if men looked at me I assumed they were thinking how disgusting I looked or that I was dressed wrong, or my face looked saggy and old or something like that. It was Steven who fundamentally helped me see myself as a woman with assets that men should be knocking down my door to get a chance at. Okay, maybe a little over the top, but you know what I mean. The problem with Steven is that we got attached, I am not sure he is capable of "love" in the way most people think of it, but he actually gets pretty torn up by things in our "relationship". It is like the stress of not being able to do something you know you should do - that brings out the worst in me and I think it does in him too- that inner conflict. I finally just said "enough" because no matter how good the intentions he will never be able to make me feel satisfied in even a "limited" relationship. It was great, but it needs to be over. What that does is open up space in my heart for something else. He is also anxiety provoking due to his "issues" and he doesn't even realize that he dumps a crapload of worries on me everytime we talk lately. I always think I am pretty good about handling that, but ya know, it really rubbed me wrong when he told me I wasn't allowed to talk about death, illness or anything sad when I know that he constantly vents to me about shitty things in life. Again, he isn't evil or have bad intentions, he just has pretty severe issues in spite of his many assets and charms. So, no regrets, time to move forward. I am still a little messed up myself, but I think I can be honest about my own "emotional"issues and find eventually a guy who is more emotionally healthy and can deal with me just fine since I am not batshit crazy, just a little off kilter at times..haha. We all got issues of some sort, the key is "can you live with it" Okay, here is what I want to really talk about though. Swizz, I don't know your whole story but I have realized a "delayed reaction" to the weight loss and not overeating myself. It manifests in different ways, but I suspect similiar underlying issues. During the weight loss phase I remember people who went nuts missing food. I didn't. I was so "over" food as a friend or comfort or whatever I would have been happy if I never had to eat again. I really felt that way and in general the weight loss phase was a determined march and satisfying progress. I hit goal in Feb 2013 and my anxiety really started amping. I fixated on being scared of plastic surgery and my nightmare of a relationship with my EX ending (nightmare because I wanted so badly to feel like a desirable and loved woman and he just ignored me). I still loved him and in truth I still love my EX now - he is a good man - but of course I am unwilling to live with a partner who treats me like a sister or a roommate - I want to feel loved like a woman by a man (see the Steven connection here?). Even so, tremendous stress, pain and anxiety. Then, I had the plastics, and EX moved out and I thought well... sadness then I move on. That is when I realized that I had self medicated that anxiety with food for heaven knows how long. Then, I switched to exercise as a coping mecanism which is somewhat healthy but what do you do when you can't peddle a bike long or fast enough to calm your soul? Then, I thought I was just a "medical phobe" and scared of surgery but once that was over I didn't really get better over the long haul. I had an anxiety attack one time skiing, I had anxiety feelings happen just from being alone - like no reason to be anxious, just nothing to focus on. Anyway, bottom line, it amazes me that here I am 2.5 years out and finally know comprehending the emotional impact that this has had. I no longer desire excess food and in general it gives me no comfort at all. How sad is that, even if I overeat I don't feel anybetter. up a creek without a paddle... So, it has forced me to really face my underlying anxiety. It took me forever to find a counselor who doesn't think I am nuts, but thinks I have a lifetime of pain and denial that I need to find a way to cope with. I am the classic, put your "shoulder into it" kinda person. If I just work harder, try harder I can solve it.... well, maybe not this time. One aspect of it is that I have so little tolerance for feeling "bad". I am learning slowly that I can feel bad/sad/lonely etc without it turning into something to be anxious about. anyway, my counselor thinks that I can be on this low dose of meds temporarily and wont need it for a lifetime. I just need to learn certain emotional skills that I didn't use before since I self medicated with food. Anyway, I due wonder if what you are describing are some similiar unresolved issues? It might be just fine that you have gained a little back, not the end of the world. They key is finding a comfortable balance in life - right - being thinner does not guarantee happy now does it? I would hope for you that you find a way to get to the bottom of this because life always has sucky things in it, the key is how to keep living a good life even with people and pets dying, relationships ending etc etc. my heart goes out to you.

Divorce rate is high due to complete transformation and the emotional rude this takes you on...not due to the surgery per se. Let's face it alot of morbidly obese people feel trapped and isolated to some extent. Losing 160 plus is liberating and it changes you. A strong marriage grows stronger one with issues tends to break. Oh advice on food resentment. ..get over it. Everybody will seem to be feasting around you. When you get to goal and feel and look great you will realize it was so worth it. During the weight loss phase though it can be rough. I looked at alot of success stories and before and after photos for ongoing inspiration.