CowgirlJane

Due to genetic differences in how scars heal....surgeons tend to cherry pick their very best "afters" which is why I like seeing posts shared by patients who might not make it to the surgeon website.

Bkr...that is exactly what I do ...get all aloof on people. I have a friendly outgoing personality until I meet someone I like and then I "choke". I have some wonderful girlfriends and have tried to listen to what they say about me for clues about "the best of me" and trying to emphasize that. This is why I picked hiking. My best friend told a story about me involving me laughing like a kid as my horse was being naughty over a water crossing. I thought. .yes..that is a good thing about me I am fun and easy to be with in the great outdoors. I am myself and fun loving and don't slip into the "business" mode that I am prone to do in some social situations. Decades of working almost exclusively with men has trained me to be comfortable with them as long as it is no attraction or interest.

Lexapro decreases your sex drive and response. I take half a dose 4 days a week. My PCP says that is such a low dose it isn't therapeutic but it has virtually eliminated my anxiety which I believe was at the root of my "moods" so I beg to differ. My sex drive did drop but since I had plenty it has been ok. I am certainly NOT flatline emotionally. If i up the lexapro I get euphoria and a bigger issue with sexual response so I am pretty happy with my current dose.

Okay I am finally once and for all done with the boyfriend I had for over a year. It essentially ended back in early April though we sorta tried one last time to have a relationship closer to what I wanted and it was an epic fail. I am ok, it was a good situation for a long time but now I am finally open to a good relationship. I saw someone for a few weeks in June/early July but ended it when his true colors started showing. Recently, I met someone I really like and who seems to like me. We have only had 2 dates but they were both great. Our first meeting was like 5-6 hours and out second date involved a hike and 2 meals....more like 12 hours! He is attractive, active and I am very interested in him. So i haven't really dated that much...and right now I feel that sense of "don't blow it" while we are in very early stages. I know men like to pursue so I am going easy with contact. We already have plans for Saturday... which will be another all day thing. Question for you ladies. ..While I am always true to being the real me I also want to keep his interest in these early weeks. I need flirting and other tips as I just don't really know how to do this very well. so bring on the tips!

Dee..sounds like you are doing great! It will just keep getting better. 8 months post op and I am more thrilled than ever.

Ok Florinda then for me I see even more red flags...if he is still at home he really has no reason to be pissy. I stand by my comments that he will get worse not better. If he is cold distant and low interest in pleasing you sexually I say he will make a horrible husband and a lonely partner. I lived that. ..good man cold fish type and it broke my heart and made me feel undesirable as a woman. Turns out it was his issues not me but that was not how a loving relationship should feel. Denise I could not help but notice you didn't mention your feelings and attachments to Bill. do you love him and want to be with him? I never expect a partner to do everything with me...so I would not think dancing is a show stopper but reading between the lines (perhaps incorrectly) seems like you just aren't feeling it.

I have posted scar pictures on this forum - I am about 8 months out. What I will tell you as someone who has looked at alot of photos post plastics is that how you heal is largely genetic/how well you heal.

Florinda, I can't really give advice about your BF because I don't have the larger context. Is he working since moving to Seattle? What I do know about men is that they are crappy crappy crappy partners unless they have their own centers, their own strength and their own "world" where they feel valued and respected and all that stuff. We live in these modern times and yet our gender specific traits still remain - men need to feel ... well not in charge maybe, but they need to feel strong and as respected leaders. You haven't known him very long, he moved to Seattle with you (not sure that was his plan already or if he did it for you) and then due to your circumstances you had to leave right away. Men do NOT tolerate crap that women often do and he might be feeling a bit put out. Some men seem to lack the communication gene so they won't or can't even admit that they are pissed or put out by something. I guess my other thought is you have only known each other a few months and in my experience guys NEVER get better ... just worse over time. Is this guy really the one? If he is cold, distant and not dying to make love you to often right now - heaven help you 5 years from now. Just saying.

Ha another zombie thread arisen from the dead! Well 2.5 years later and 160# lighter (i now weigh 140) I love my sleeve! As a tool it has worked well for me and enabled success beyond my wildest dreams.

I am doing well. I have developed a mantra or personal slogan " I am not so much afraid of dying as I am of not living." So through all this I continue to make sure I am living and not just zombie walking through it...not numbing my feelings etc. I lost a friend over it in truth but it was a friend that needed to go anyway. I am a happy cheerful and fun person much of the time but anyone who can't handle authentic grief and deep feelings loses their place in my daily life.

I think you should make the decision about bill, is it a good relationship you want to continue? because the other guy might turn into nothing. ..

Forsythia I didn't have to do a mandatory pre op thing but I chose a surgical practice that requires 2 year follow up. It made a big difference. Your attitude that you want to LIVE and enjoy life and that is more important than any food is the mindset that will achieve your goals!

I also think that there is something about the disease state of obesity...I took lots of it D and was always deficient until I lost weight.

You will be fine by yourself 5 days post op. The hardest 2 things...in my opinion. .is getting your fluids in and watching other people eat while on liquid diet..ha! You might actually like being alone about the time that gets annoying.

My opinion is that it is less about intelligence or thoughtfulness and more about emotional "blockage". Let's be honest, even if your doc gave you ZERO instructions, there is a big world wide web out there... lots of sources. I thing that people can get just so emotionally wound up in weight, food, fear of failing etc that they aren't "at their best". while I was well prepared, educated (both self and by surgeon/NUT) for the sleeve I have in the past been just plain STUPID about maintaining my health. Let me give you an example - I did weight watchers for years where you count points. I knew better but like i lot of people I got caught up in sort of trying cheat the system - you know, super high Fiber things calculated low points, that type of deal. Stupid, yes, but I did it. There is something about being "ready" to really change that can be elusive. Some of us didn't know if we were ready but tried anyway. Others thought they were ready but really weren't. Some are in such a state of mind they don't even recognize "ready" as a concept.

Stay calm. Food and weight does not deserve the emotional attachment we give it. You can do this ...you've had a very small regain just like normal people do. You know as well as I do that one day of eating right doesn't always show up as a loss. In this for long haul. ...

Rosy thanks for sharing your perspective. We were sleeved about the same time, wondering if the veterans forum might offer support as you continue to "work your sleeve"

My Sunday! [ATTACH]47024[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]47025[/ATTACH]

Janey my losses crawled to a halt about 7 months post op. I was just under 200, looking and feeling good. And truly had obtained "success". I had to do some soul searching about kicking it up a notch and doing what it would take to get all the way to my personal goal. I got advice from NUT and just kept on working that sleeve! Here is the blessing, since the weight didn't just "fall off" I had to learn behavior that has helped me tremendously in maintenance. I hit goal In Feb 2013 and have been maintaining since..currently about 15 pounds under my goal.

You know Denise it is frustrating but I wonder if you are maintaining a few pounds lower than your body wants to be at? I bounce up a few pounds every weekend...probably from the wine...Haha....and I drop back to 140-142 by middle of the week without alot of angst. I don't like fried or junk food, bread and wine are my"gotchas"... but I eat at restaurants a couple times a week and am still NOT doing formal exercise (just horses and dancing) so I believe my body is happy here. I suspect if I tried to maintain at say 135 I would experience the same frustration you are...and is 5# worth it? Just something to think about. Having said that, when summer ends I am going to return to strength training which may drive my weight up a few. Sarah, how is the recovery going? Loving you hot bod??? I had so much fun at my 1980 theme dance last night. What a hoot! I got alot of compliments on my "look" - I did the leather pants rocker chick thing. My niece's funeral was yesterday. She was40, her sister is 37. The surviving sister looks terrible...I was shocked. I swear she looks older than me. I think she is a chain smoking druggie..not sure. The one who passed had gotten super obese. I hadn't seen her in over a year and I was shocked by the photos. I thank God everyday for my second chance at life since the sleeve. I am going to take a few private dance lessons..I prepaid for them awhile ago...just to learn basic 2 step etc. Then this fall I will take a dance group class. Right now I am back to riding like 5 days a week and loving summer so won't commit to a class till the winter rains return.

That's me in the long curly hair and black headband.

I have been at goal since Feb 2013 so please keep that perspective. I went to an 80s theme dance party tonight. I didn't have time to shop so had to raid my closet. It's all about how you combine, accessorize and style that gives a "look". Since I have naturally big glam metal rock hair.... I went that route. So many compliments... hair like the lead singer of Poison, dressed like Pat Benatar... and a guy walked up and said I was channelling Leta Ford... and she was so hot! I would have never had the confidence to do this before. But so much good fun!

I navigate to "content I follow" It is the only way I can find this thread on all 3 devices....laptop, kindle, android phone.

I did 5:2 to address a 5# regain and it worked so well, I decided to lose a bit more. I am not doing 5:2 now, but I still use some of the techniques- and they work! Anyway, an article, not about 5:2, but about health benefits of fasting: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/07/25/this-is-what-happens-to-your-body-when-skip-meals/?intcmp=obinsite

The ladies in the social club are 30s...maybe 40s. My point is any of them with a few extra pounds. ..it's the mid section. I think us formerly obese judge ourselves so damn hard... we don't realize how typical we actually look is all.