SherylO

I know for a fact that I spent 10 years struggling with a full-blown eating disorder. It took on a lot of different forms: super restrictive dieting in high school, followed by long stretches of all-out binging in college, then coupled with periods of bulimia and laxative abuse while desperately trying not to gain so much weight from the binges. I started dieting in middle school and would go to eat alone at lunchtime with my salad so as not to be tempted by the junk food in the cafeteria. At 15, I did Herbalife and started kickboxing and lost 50 pounds. Kept it off for about 9 months and then PACKED it back on with carbs and ice cream. It was like a nightmare, putting that weight back on as a teenager, having to go to high school and feel fat…when I wasn’t making rounds to all the different vending machines on campus (don’t want to load up too much at any one on it’s own) I was sitting in the bathroom with a journal, making lists of reasons why my next diet was going to work and why I wanted to lose weight. I just didn’t think of anything else but food. When I went to college, it was a disaster. I had no supervision and a car…no need for much detail, but I started staying up all night eating, and missing classes. All I thought about was eating. My life was a mess and I felt beyond help. I attempted to see a counselors a few times and twice was put on a mild antidepressant, but nothing truly worked.
It makes me sad to recount this and think of all the years that went by wasted on food. Every time I think I’ve covered it, I remember another “phase” and each is more depressing than the last. Sometimes I feel bitter that no one rescued me from it. I get angry thinking if I had had the opposite problem – if I’d been anorexic and 50 pounds underweight instead of 100 pounds overweight – someone would have stepped in, because a person who starves themselves has issues and needs help. But because I was a person who binged, it just meant that I was lazy or lacked self control and that I’d just have to work it out on my own. I honestly feel I was sick enough to be hospitalized at some of those points, but I was only ever given a pep talk. There is a feeling of helplessness and abandonment in the knowledge that your problem is not taken seriously enough…that no one is coming to intervene or save you.
Anyway. So I yo-yo’d a lot, picked myself up and got on a plan with gyms and diets a few times, but spent most of the time hiding in the behavior, just too scared not to have that crutch to give it up. I’d give myself a time period – like a long weekend off from school or something, and give myself permission to go crazy and eat everything I wanted, on the condition that right after that I’d change everything and never do it again. Of course, that turned into every weekend. And weekday. And waking moment.
Then, suddenly, a couple of years ago, I got in a really good place. I tried to look at food differently – not worry about doing everything perfectly, but just to think about food LESS. I started doing a lot of yoga, and dropped a lot of weight, probably around 50 pounds. I was eating healthy, exercising and loving it. I was much happier and more confident. I thought I'd finally "figured it out." Then, when I got close to really crossing that "threshold" – you know, where things start changing and people notice, and you really get down in size to smaller than you have been in a long time - I couldn't go on. I fell apart and self-sabotaged heavily. I holed up in my apartment all winter, ate, and gained 70 pounds in 6 months, and still kept eating. In January of 2011, I hit an all time high of 312, and was at an absolute, horrified loss of what to do.
I ended up coming to two conclusions:
One, that I simply could not take going back and forth anymore. That I was going to have surgery (something I'd previously been against) because I wanted the weight OFF. I wanted it off fast, and forever.
Two, that I really, really needed help. I did not feel in control of my own life or actions. I could not think of anything but food, and it affected my day-to-day existence and interactions with people. I’d moved to a big city and was able to find a good therapist who worked specifically with eating issues (this can be difficult in small towns) and tried my best to just be honest. It was not easy for one minute, but now, over a year later of sessions (and nearly 10 months post-op) I can say it's made a huge difference.
I did not want gastric bypass – for all the horrible things I’ve done to it, I do have an odd sense of protectiveness over my body, and rearranging things in there just did not appeal to me. Plus, I’d seen post-bypass people before and they looked sick and droopy to me, and I didn’t like the idea of not absorbing Vitamins, etc. When I read about the sleeve, it was like a light bulb going off. Something purely restrictive was perfect to me. I really WANTED TO CHANGE, and what I needed was just that inability to put myself too far off the wagon, not a bunch of Vitamin and mineral deficiencies. (PS, I realize there are lots of successful bypassers, and am not trying to sounds biased – just relaying my thought process at the time). I believed that my desire to change behaviors would be enough support for a procedure that wasn’t quite as extreme.
I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing, and anyone who hasn’t seen me since last May still does not know. I told the people at my job that I was going on vacation and that was it. I didn’t even tell my roommate until I got back. And it’s funny, I didn’t even care or get uncomfortable. After the fact, it was just like, “This is my life now. I’m happy and I don’t have to justify it to anybody.” I’d left the country and gotten surgery for cripes’ sake, the scary part was over! People’s thoughts on it meant zero to me. That said, I kept my mouth shut upon getting back too, so if they had thoughts I was never really made aware of them. There were only a sparse handful of occasions where I was uncomfortable or in a situation where I didn’t know what to do. A few months post-op, I had to attend a food tasting for a conference we were putting on at work. No way could I try all the different courses, and had to sit at a table and turn things away, having specifically gone there to “taste”! That was a bit awkward, but two other colleagues were there and they tried the stuff I didn’t. And it was ultimately fine! One thing we need to remember is that we are more highly sensitive to these things than other people. They don’t know your circumstances – you could have food allergies, you could just be getting over the flu, you could be pregnant, who knows what! People might wonder briefly, but no one really gives a damn what anyone else eats for more than five seconds, so all you can do it worry about YOU! It’s your life and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone.
So now, on to the present:
I have struggled recently with the fact that as I get further out, my capacity is changing. It's still small, obviously, but I could eat more/badly if I wanted to. Some days I do want to, most days I don't. I feel more in control of these issues than I have in a very long time because the sleeve tool has empowered me with the ability to take my thoughts of food "off the plate” for the most part, no pun intended! When you simply can't eat (or can't eat more than a few ounces at a time) there is just no point to obsessing about it. Also, some things change that are out of your control - I truly crave Protein. It's not about what tastes good - your body is actively ASKING you for protein, and so you want that - more than you want the bad stuff. Again, I don't think that will last forever, but it gives you a big head start - you start dropping weight and you love the results - so you are driven to continue on doing the right things.
That said, part of the reason I’m writing this is that I’ve had a rough. I get very hungry sometimes now – I think specifically when I’m about to drop a few pounds, it’s sort of like molting – I get hunger and crave more substantive foods – like oatmeal and whole wheat Pasta and carby things, instead of just usual protein. Sometimes I go a bit overboard. My capacity is bigger and sometimes I have a “big” bowl of oatmeal (by big I mean maybe a full cup or a little less, which is still way more than I could’ve done at my 2 oz. phase) with bananas and chocolate chips and milk in it…and then I panic. Why can I eat this much? Have I fallen off the wagon? Is it all over and I will self-sabotage from now on?!! That’s what’s always happened in the past and I’m still scared of it. I race over to My Fitness Pal and log everything and try to figure out how I can “save” the day or make plans to burn off all the calories. Sometimes I actually do that and sometimes I don’t, and I just have to take a step back and remember that this is still NOTHING compared to the damage that would have done before, that it’s okay to eat a little more sometimes when your body is asking for it, and to just CALM DOWN about everything, because not every day or even every week is going to be perfect.
This past week is the first time I’ve really experienced a “pull” back to binging. I’ve surrounded myself since surgery with positive images, and affirmations and practices and have loved feeling healthy in all ways. But I am not cured – I don’t think there is a cure. I know people here have lots of varied reasons for having surgery and for some it was just a need for help with real portion control, stubborn genetics, that sort of thing – but for me it is truly behavioral: I have an eating disorder and it is a struggle every day. If I get too cocky and think I am just a normal person now, it backfires on me. I can not have trigger foods around and I can not be left on my own if I’m feeling “unstable” in the choices I’m making. The thought of gaining the weight back is all consuming and terrifying. I will have to pick myself back up, journal, and go to therapy, and fight the fight.
I am so grateful for this website. It is part of my routine to come here and learn and be inspired by all of you. And all I can say for those of you who are reading and researching, trying to decide if this is the right thing for you…all I can say is DO IT. Prepare, prepare, prepare, read everything you can about it, but by all means do it. You already know a lot of the ways it will change your life from other people’s accounts, but the biggest (and best!) thing to remember is that there are other ways you will change that you can’t even fathom yet. And they are wonderful! It’s so hard to convey the FEELING – of being so much better off physically, of getting your life back – but it’s in your future and you should pursue it no matter what, if you feel it’s what’s best for you. Do NOT let fear or the opinions and negativity of others get in your way. Trust me, the first time you sit in an airplane seat with a foot of extra seatbelt, wear heels with no pain, get hit on in the line in Starbucks…the fact that someone threw some shade at you about getting surgery is not going to matter to you one bit.
I am 25 years old, 5’8 ½ and had a highest ever weight of 312 in January 2011. I had surgery 5 months after that over Memorial Day 2011 at 278 pounds. Today, I have lost 105 pounds and weigh 173. My largest ever jeans were a tight size 24, and now I’m wearing a 10 and medium tops. My goal is to be about 160 pounds and a size 8.
These pics are from before, ranging through about ¾ months, 6 months, my fab red dress for a formal gala dinner, up to me in my suit for a conference last week. For some reason they are not posting in order, but hopefully the order is pretty clear.
"Half an orange tastes as sweet as a whole one." Chinese Proverb
"We have never arrived. We are in a constant state of becoming." Bob Dylan

I was sleeved by Dr Garcia on Dec 5 and am very pleased with the whole experience.his team is very professional, the Mi Hospital is clean and the nursing staff are great.
I did have an issue with the drain, it lodged some where and caused some pain, but as soon as it was taken out I had no pain. The incisions have healed nicely and have had no issues with drinking or eating.

12/5/11

Juzmejnee - I won't lose weight when I only consume 800-850 calories daily. I don't consider myself a slow loser, I think my weight loss has been steady and moderate. But I have to consume 1100-1200 calories per day and almost 90 grams of Protein to keep the scale moving. When I go below these amounts my body seems to panic and hang on to everything I feed it. This is just my experience, but if you're exercising regularly and only eating 800 calories, my suggestion would be to increase your calorie intake (good calories of course
Try it and see if it works for you... if not, try something else. We're all learning.

I know that we are supposed to avoid carbs, but if you just love pancakes and cant stop (like me) then I have a great way to enjoy them while getting in ALOT of protein.
betty crocker complete pancake mix (makes 3 pancakes)
1/3 cup of the mix (5 grams protein)
1 egg mixed in (6 grams protein)
1/2 scoop protein shake mix ( I used Matrix bananas and cream flavor) (11.5 grams protein)
1/4 cup lowfat milk (3.5 grams of protein)
mix it all together and fry it up. I dont even use syrup because the flavor from the shake mix makes it taste yummy all on its own.
in all it is 26 grams of protein, and 25 grams of carbs for those who count them.
I absolutely loved them, and I made them the same for my kids and hubby and they didnt even know the difference, they thought that they were regular old pancakes with banana flavor---hehe, I love sneeking healthy in!

I had my surgery on Dec 11, 2011 in Tijuana. Dr Fernando Garcia did my surgery. I had a lapband removal and the gastric sleeve. He was wonderful and I had an amazing experience at Hospital MI. It is a new facility and small but the care I received was excellent. From the admitting staff, anesthesiologist, cardiologist, radiologist, nurses and drivers. I would not hesitate to go back for other surgeries should I need other things done that insurance will not cover.
I am going to Chicago on Jan 14, 2012 as Dr Garcia will be doing a seminar there and I will be attending to speak to other prospective sleeve patients and tell them about my experience. I am paying for all of my own transportation and lodging and am not receiving anything for my attendance. I feel that I owe them much more than what I paid for the surgery and my new life. If you have any other questions feel free to ask away.

I just wanted to share my experience!!!! so far I am super excited

Hi Everyone,

What have I learned in the last three years since I've had weight loss surgery? This is the challenge that you will all figure out for yourself. Each and every one of us will learn what makes weight loss surgery work for us. Looking back the first month after weight loss surgery was the hardest month that I ever did. It was a total relearning process of how to eat the healthy way and to allow my new stomach a chance to heal. The biggest challenge I think was “head hunger.” For me my head was always trying to convince me that I needed eat something more to eat. Intellectually and physically I knew that I was full and didn't need to eat anything else. It was a battle because for most of my life I ate for all the wrong reasons. Now I have the tools to control this.

For most of our life we ate for all of the wrong reasons and all of the wrong foods. There was always food at family events and holidays. We ate when we were angry, when we were excited or happy, when we were frustrated or angry or mad. It was all about emotions, and not what was healthy for us. Now we know how to make healthy food choices for ourselves. We have also learned that we eat food in small quantities and are satisfied and I hope you never feel deprived. What I have learned is still 3 years later, I have to stop and think about what my head still tries to convince me. That brain still tries to send me signals from my “old thinking brain.” I am in charge NOW and that feels great! I know for the rest of my life I can manage this.

Nothing about weight loss is easy. We have ONE BIG advantage we have had some form of WLS and for me it was a sleeve. What I eat is always on my mind. I plan healthy meals and I shop for healthy foods. I crave healthy food now too. It does require effort and work on my part. I try 97% of the time to eat healthy and exercise. The ONE big thing I have learned is that I CAN DO THIS and I maintain my weight loss. I don’t have the fear that I used to have—will I regain the weight? I am willing to bet that sooooooooo many of us have done the yo-yo lose the weight and gain it back in our past. Before I had WLS, I thought what if I am the “one” person this will not work on? I laugh now because I learned most of us had that thought. We were so used to failure. Not anymore! I am here to tell you that it is very doable and you will be successful.

Put yourself first and take care of you first. I wish you a very Happy New Years.

Hugs,
Suzanne Sleeved 10/21/2008
Lost 105 pounds

I am glad to read about supportive PCP's!! I go next Thursday to let my doctor know that I was sleeved on Dec 16th. I am not sure I want (or need?) to tell him that the procedure was done in Mexico. Regardless of how he is going to feel about my choice... there is no lecture in the world that can change what is already done. . . Or at least that is what I am telling myself prior to this dreaded appointment!
I have asked about WLS in the past and he was always saying no. He would harp on me that my BMI was not high enough.... (I am 5'4" and weighed in at 200 lbs. ... how high is "enough?) I would leave his office with a "Heart Healthy" diet plan and cry myself to the nearest gallon of ice cream. I TRIED every diet on the planet! I needed a doc to realize that some of this was simply the "fat gene" that I lovingly inherited from my family.... Now it's done.
I hope my PCP is as forgiving & understanding as those mentioned above!!
Best of luck to everyone on the weight loss journey!

Congratulations!!
I am so happy you posted this. There is so little information.
I have surgery with Dr. Garcia this coming Monday. Flying out Sunday from Canada.
I went through Christi, Successfully Slimmer also affiliated with Obesity Solutions.
The pre op diet is not fun but I guess I shouldn't complain, I only have to do it for 3 days were others have had to stay on it for 2 weeks or longer.

I am also 12 days out and am going to make an egg for breakfast. I was leary too but everyone I talked to just said to chew carefully and it will be fine

Ingredients:
1 pack of mushrooms, stemmed and washed
1/2 cup of soft cream cheese
1 can of drained crab meat
1 can of drained shrimp
1/2 cup of chopped green onion
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs
1/2 cup of parm cheese
Mix together cream cheese, shrimp, crab, green onion, and parm cheese. Blend in a processor. Fill mushrooms with the filling top with extra parm cheese and bread crumbs. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes. Awesome high Protein appetizer.

I can totally relate!! I am 6 mo post op and remember crying for the first 2 weeks as I watched TV with all of the yummy comercials and food network shows. lol I didn't realize until then how much I really loved food. I have no deep seated issues or feelings that I was eating away, I just loved food! Real food, sweets, cookies, chips, steak you name it I love it. It really does get better as you get farther along. You can eat some of the foods you love just a whole lot less. The weightloss makes it all worth while. I feel just like I did in my 20's before I had a weight problem and I'm 20 lbs from goal. Just hang in there it is so worth it.

OMG! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I am post op 9 days (DOS: 12/13/11) and I would eat a cow raw!!! I want so bad to eat something! I'm on clear liquids for 14 days and just dying! I see my doc for post appt today and I'm praying to God that he lets me off two days early to allow puree foods on Christmas day. I believe that most of us that have fought weight have a food addiction. I hear from blogs on this site that the cravings and desires do get better and less frequent. Hang in there....it will all be worth it in the end when we are struttin our thin selves!

When I first started this journey, my BMI was 40.7...just enough for surgery according to my insurance. Today I am at a "normal" BMI of 24.3!!! I am finally "normal" I love my sleeve!

February 2011 237 lbs
December 2011 141.5 lbs
What a difference a year makes!!!
Living the dream,
Laura

I am down 44lbs since October 1st and I can see a huge change in my face and I am loving it!
Here I am this August:
And here I am a week ago:

Hey Guys,
I'm heading to the hospital!!! See you on the Loser's Bench!!!! Jasleeve and e'one else still waiting, I'll save some space for ya!!!!

So our mall has one of those trampoline things where they hook u up to a harness and you jump and fly in the air. I DID IT!!!!! You have to be under 200 lbs which I am!! Finally!! In fact I'm 40 lbs below that!! I never would have thought I could do anything like that in my life!! And I did it wearing a sexy green dress

100 pounds????? holy crap!!! I LOST 100 LBS!!!!
i had to get on the scale multiple times to believe it!!!

You don't get a catheter when you have surgery. Your not allowed liquids 12 hours before so there is no need. Sometimes changes in bathing water, antibiotics and lack of liquids can trigger a uti. Best wishes

i had surgery in june.. pre and post surgery weight lost total is 78 lbs (i was 248 to 250 lbs before surgery, 228 day of surgery and now I am 170). I went from a size 20W to 12 on my bottom. I am 5'6 and my weight goal is 155 or size 10 bottom.. It has been a slow and steady process, I am very happy with my weight so far. My parents don't know about the surgery and I went home for thanksgiving and I kinda played it off so they did not suspect. They are very adamant though that I shouldn't lose anymore weight, lol, oh well they'll get over it.
the pics are obviously before (at my highest weight) and after (last month, november)

I am not going to write a book about my life or anything, but I would love to share a short story on how I ended up with the sleeve. I have been overweight my whole life and battled countless diets along the way that always in the end for the worse. I started working at a bank a year ago and they have excellent benifits and pay for 90% of lap band and sleeve surgury. My husband and I have been trying for years to have a child and I thought what a great way for me to get healthy and possibly help me have a baby. So as of October 10th this year I had the surgury and my weight was 286 at my highest. Currently I am at 250. I was worried I was losing weight too slowly but my Dr. said I am right on schedule and doing well, although I could use some more excerise. I have struggles of not wanting to eat at times but most of the time I get my fill in just a few bites of food. I stay completly away from all bread and pasta now since I learned the hard way and became ill. It is a huge learning curve but I feel very blessed to have had this surgury and pray that soon I can be an expecting mommy. So thats my story!

I was sleeved on Monday, Dec 5 at Hospital Mi Doctor by Dr. Garcia and his fabulous team. Surgery went well and I am feeling great. My only issue was the darn drain, it gave me some pain but once it came out Everything changed.
I have so far not had any problems drinking and have been doing that constantly, water, gaterade, broth, juice. Just have to remember to do it slowly.
My husband thought our Pekingese dog was a noisy sleeper wait till he hears this little sleeve...lol.
I am looking forward to a little shopping tomorrow and then fly home on Friday.

First let me say that Dr Garcia did exactly as I asked and that was not to be restricted too tightly as I want to lose no more than 50 lbs and so far I have had ZERO problems with my sleeve. He was a joy and very pleasant. And the anesthesiologist was amazing!!! I felt ZERO pain and remembered absloutely nothing lol! YEEESSS!!! Dr. Garcia and his staff deserves recognition because I couldnt find very much on him during my research but his their liason/patient coordinator alma put me in touchh with some of his previous patients who were equally ecstatic about Dr Garcia. Alma is absolutely wonderful as well and always handles your emails and phone calls in a very timely fashion...very quickly actually.
My sister and I actually underwent this journey together and decided after leaving the hospital to stay on the San Diego side and Alma took care of everything for us after the dr cleared us so we only stayed one night in Hotel Ticuan which I must say was a veeerrry nice hotel with excellent LOOKING food!!! lol! Could only look at it! Dont get the chicken broth though... yuck...no flavor but the Tortilla Soup was to die for!!!
Our entire stay there felt completely safe and I was NEVER in any pain for any length of time because the nurses were so very attentive and were adamant about making sure that we were not in any pain and kept the pain meds coming...they all gave explicable care!!! I was sooooo pleasantly surprised to realize that the pain was so minimal that I felt almost completely normal when leaving the hospital lol!! I actually do not need a whole other week of work off!!! Im ready to eat thats for sure but I know in due time it will be ok.
Once again, I can not say enough about the excellent care we received and not to mention Dr. Garcia's skill is not to be denied. He listens and knows what he is doing!!! ! would like to thank his whole staff for such a wonderful experience and Hector, our driver was absolutely wonderful. He was always on time or early in fact and even took us on the scenic route to the hotel so that we could get to see a little bit of San Diego before leaving and I would be an advocate for anyone who is interested in this procedure with Dr. Garcia and hisstaff. I am sure once I continue to heal that it can only get better from here!!! 6 days down and I have already lost 9 lbs!!! I am 5'4 and starting weight was 180 and bmi was 30.9.

Nine months ago today I had my sleeve surgery with Dr. Nick at the Forest Park Medical Center in Dallas. Highest weight (a year ago Septmeber was ~265. My start weight was 253, my weight Day of Surgery was 241. I now weigh 150 pounds, with 15 pounds to go to goal. My highest BMI wass 44.7 -now I'm at 25.3 - almost in the normal range!
I have lost 13.5" from my waist and 11.5" from my hips. I was in a 24W or 3X top, now I am wearing 12 Petites and a Medium top.
This nine months have been spent learning - learning how to make the sleeve work for me, learning how to handle stress without shoving food into my mouth, learning how to relate to food in a totally different way.
I still have a ways to go to cope with being a "normal size" food addict (kind of like a "dry" drunk) but life is really good now.
I have the confidence to jump into the job market. My company is offering me early retirement with a settlement, so I am going to take it and get back in the job market. I already have some companies interested in hiring me, but I know that is a long way from having a new job (yet). I don't think I would have put myself on the market this way if I had still been morbidly obese as I was before my sleeve. I am keeping my fingers crossed until I get a new job!
Thanks to all of you on this forum who have given me support and encoragement during my journey. It has really helped. I wish all of you continued success with your individual sleeve journies, and also a blessed Thanksgiving holiday.
Sharon
NB - I have attached a picture from today and one from about 2 weeks after my surgery.