Lila21

Hi there! That is a tough dilemma, but I think you are handling it beautifully! My mother was built very differently from me (model-thin, model-tall, nordic beauty with light blonde hair and bright blue eyes). I am pretty much the polar opposite of that . And while I had some jealousy issues with her, she really made me feel loved and supported, which I think is the most important thing. She also made sure that she gave me lots of kudos for my other achievements (academic, theater, art), and helped me to feel like I was OK as I was. I think your approach of dealing with it directly is great! I wish I could have had a talk like that with my Mom when I was 13--I think it would have helped. In terms of getting healthy, I think it's really great to keep a healthy balance of foods around and prepare healthy meals. Then, it just becomes easier for her to have a healthy diet without it being a huge challenge. Also, remember that a lot of how she feels comes from society and not you. Our society emphasizes thinness and beauty on every magazine, TV show, and movie. It's hard not to feel bad if you don't fit into that very narrow definition of beauty.

The editor in chief is Joanna Coles, and here's her email address: JoannaColes@hearst.com I told her that she went on a diet and lost 28,000 readers. Congratulations, Marie Claire!

@JuliaRH Really wonderful and coherent letter. I couldn't write anything so cohesive because I am still so angry. Thanks for sharing your well-written response. I encourage everyone to reply to editor-in-chief. they need to know this is unacceptable and they will lose money and readers.

I wrote a comment about this in the "rants" section and also shared the editor's email address. I understand that she's gotten something like 28,000 comments on this blog. I really hope that we can pressure them into a retraction. It's shameful.

OK, I really have to rant here. I rarely feel the need to respond to pop culture, but I found this really infuriating. Marie Claire blogger, Maura Kelly wrote a blog about how fat people should not be shown kissing on TV because they are disgusting and she doesn't want to have to see them. Here's a quote from her article: "I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair." Worse, Marie Claire is supporting this blogger, saying: “Maura Kelly is a very provocative blogger,” adding, “She was an anorexic herself and this is a subject she feels very strongly about.” Kelly is also reportedly “excited and moved” by the 28,000 email responses they’ve received. Here's a link to the whole disgusting, fat-hating article: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television#post_comment Here's the email address of the editor-in-chief: JoannaColes@hearst.com Please write her a letter and let her know this is unacceptable. Many of the comments note that if we exchanged the word "fat" for "black", "asian", or "gay", no one would put up with it. It's true. This article is shameful and filled with hate. No one should accept this garbage.

Thank you so much, NewMe2Bee! I was getting so anxious about that. Now I feel a little easier about just waiting it out and seeing what the insurance company says.

I have met with Dr. Cirangle, and if you look at other members of the forum, he and his partner Dr. Jessart are highly recommended. They are at lapbandSF. Their offices are in San Francisco, but I think they operate in a couple of different areas (including Hawaii!) They have an incredible safety rating and I really like Dr. Cirangle when I met with him. He's very straightforward, and answered every single question I asked (and I asked a LOT) patiently and thoroughly. I will definitely go to them if I get approved. I hope this helps!

hey folks, I am a newbie here, and I have a question about the 5 year history. I have UHC, and they require a 5 year history for approval. Do you have to have been at the BMI rate of over 35 during that time? I lost a lot of weight (approx. 100 lbs) about 6 years ago, and gradually regained most of it over the last five years. Am I going to be penalized for this? I think my weight was something like 175 6 years ago (5 year history starts 6 years ago, go figure), and I am now at almost 300. Any idea?

I don't know if it's the same for Aetna, but for UHC, they wanted records starting with LAST year (meaning this year --2010 --does NOT count). So, I had to give them records from 2009, 2008, etc.

I have UHC, and they require a psych eval, 6 month diet, and 5 years of weight history. I have just submitted my paperwork, and my fingers are crossed!! The person who coordinates insurance info for patients says that they are typically pretty good. She says that they are required to reply within 3 weeks, so I'll let you know what I find out. I'm glad to hear there are good self-pay options in Mexico, if this doesn't work out, however...

Thanks for the info! I am sort of sorry I read the comments, though! It seems like those people wanted to foist as much blame as they could on obese people. Even the well-meaning comments mentioned things like, "obese people need to just stop eating junk food" and "you just have to stop eating so much." It just shows a total misunderstanding for what obese people go through. I myself have spent a month hiking, covering over a hundred miles on my own two feet. I've biked hundreds of miles, completed century rides, and spent most of my life being active. But, I put on weight incredibly easily, and I find it incredibly hard to take off weight. I find it it really tiresome that everyone assumes I spend my days eating McDonald's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and that I'm just too "lazy" to get on a real diet. Most obese people have probably lost hundreds of pounds over a lifetime fighting this affliction, and it just comes back. I totalled up my weight loss efforts once and figured out that I've lost at least 200 lbs in my lifetime (and regained it all over time). I really don't think that adds up to laziness. I think that adds up to the need to try something different.

Thank you!! I really appreciate the reply. That's very reassuring!

I did mine about a month ago, and it was actually very informative and enjoyable. The questions are basically about understanding what your issues with eating are (I tihink they need to rule out people such as bulimics who could get seriously ill doing this surgery), your weight history, a bit of your history (relationships, family, support system), and your relationship with food and willingness to change. I think it's best to just answer the questions honestly because they are really trying to figure out if you are mentally healthy enough to have the operation. And if you aren't, you probably don't want to do it yet. Honestly, I think if you have the eating issues that most overweight people have it's totally normal. So, try not to worry!!! Also the psychologist I talked to was really helpful in offering advice and strategies for post VSG, which I found reassuring. It'll be fine, really!

Thanks for responding! so, if you make sure to get your calories, you are generally OK?

I was planning on taking a week.

wow, thanks for the info! That's really helpful! It sounds like you are a powerhouse of energy!!!

Hi folks, I am a newbie here, and I've been looking into VSG for a while, and thinking it's likely the right solution for me. My surgeon's program requires you to eat between 500 and 800 calories a day, and I am just fearful that I will be tired on such low calories. Right now, even though I weigh about 300 lbs, my energy isn't too bad, and I just want some assurance that I won't feel terrible after surgery. When I read VSG blogs and this forum I haven't seen much commentary on this. I am wondering if anyone can tell me more about their energy levels during the weight loss phase and if you experienced any difficulty with mood or energy. I don't expect to feel good right after the surgery, but what about the months after that? thanks!!!

Hi folks, I am a newbie here, and I've been looking into VSG for a while, and thinking it's likely the right solution for me. My surgeon's program requires you to eat between 500 and 800 calories a day, and I am just fearful that I will be tired on such low calories. Right now, even though I weigh about 300 lbs, my energy isn't too bad, and I just want some assurance that I won't feel terrible after surgery. When I read VSG blogs and this forum I haven't seen much commentary on this. I am wondering if anyone can tell me more about their energy levels during the weight loss phase and if you experienced any difficulty with mood or energy. thanks!!!