Harsh Realizations Today

Today was a tough day for a multitude of reasons. I was banded 6 days ago.

My 12 month old son has been sick for two weeks. Every day it seams as if there is a new symptom. He has been to the Dr 3 times in the past two weeks.Today after taking my son to the Dr. only to find out he may need stronger medication. I was wiped out. As I was leaving the Dr.s office still concerned about him, all I could think about was food. I should mention I was not hungry at this point.

I so badly wanted the comfort of stuffing my mouth full of some unhealthy food and binge to to numb my feelings or quiet my panic. I have never done or taken drugs. I don't drink but I now understand that somewhere along the line food became something it is not. Food became my Novocaine... after a problem I ate and didn't feel anything. At least that is what I thought. Now I realize I still felt something after I ate it wasn't numbness it was sadness.

I did not give into to my instincts or indulge in my temptations. I finally gave something back to myself... Respect. By not indulging in food I was forced to deal and to feel. Now as I write this I realize just what a precious journey we are all on. I look forward to getting to know myself again. this time around I promise to take better care of me so I can continue to take care of the ones I love!

Well said! I'm proud of you. It's so hard when our kids are sick. Good job respecting yourself!