My First Entry
By WDW Luver
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So I get a blog here? I have never blogged before. Hmmmmm, I do love to talk so maybe this is a good thing. Does anyone read these things?
Well, who am I? 39 year old SAHM mom, that has my own Travel Agency at home, and substitute teaches when I can. Active in the PTA and other organizations my kids are involved in. I have an amazing, patient and loving husband and 2 daughters, 13 and 9. Teen girl attitude has invaded my house.:wub:
Oh, and I am overweight. Apparently not just overweight, OBESE. God I hate that word. It has to be one of the grossest, most ugly words in the world. I actually prefer just FAT over obese. I have been fighting this fat for 20 years. I am not even sure how I got here. I guess a combination of some emotional issues from childhood, and a lot of bad choices. I hate to exercise. But I also hate to sit still. I love to go places and do things. Come on! Let's go to the park or a museum, or for a walk, or to the beach, or shopping or. . .
I have tried it all. Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers (3x), Jenny Craig (even worked there!), Atkins, South Beach, Slimfast, Dr Phil, Oprah, and all sorts of crazy stuff I came up with on my own. The weight comes off but not much before I give up. Then it all comes back on and brings extra with it.
About 6 years ago I started having problems with my feet. Heel Spurs? Bone Spur? Plantar Fasciitis? I got several different diagnosis and treatments. Stay off your feet, use crutches etc... Things got a bit better for a year or two but then the pain came back. I found a great podiatrist and with stretching and ice and cortisone shots I had some relief. But each time it came back it was worse than before. Finally I had exhausted all conservative treatments and the pain was so bad that I couldn't walk at all without horrible pain. Surgery was next. One simple procedure, a few days recovery and I would be back on my feet. Didn't happen. Things got much worse. I was now confined to a wheelchair to leave my house. Just walking from the couch to the bathroom was excruciating and I would cry the entire trip.
Time for Surgery #2. More intensive but will fix it and you will be pain free. Nope. Didn't work. Well, I guess it did some. I could get around the house on my feet for a few minutes without the horrible pain. But still needed a wheelchair when I was out. By now it had been nearly 2 years with this pain and I had gone from active and always on the go to sitting on the couch not going anywhere. Of course depression set in. And with no activity and depression eating the weight got higher. I finally decided I was done sitting around my house and we found a used scooter that allows me to at least be independent and get out of the house. 38 and using a scooter.:tt2:
My first podiatrist and I parted ways amicably. I was still in tons of pain and he wanted me to see someone else that had been in the field longer. New doctor and on to surgery #3! Still recovering 7 months later and still in pain. But all along I have been told that loosing weight would make the most difference. I did lose 20 pounds last year, but it made no difference. So of course I gave up and gained it back, along with its friends.
So here I sit at 228 pounds. Feet are in so much pain that I can only stand or walk for about 5 minutes. You would think that the idea that this is what I am facing the rest of my life would be the kick in the pants to make me change my eating habits and lose the weight and keep it off. So why doesn't it.
Hmm, this was a lot to read for one sitting. I will stop here and continue later. This last week has been a whirlwind of emotions, research and revelations. I will discuss that in the next entry.
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