The story so far.

Hi, so this is my story so far..... I have been trying to lose weight for my whole life. I was always the chubby one and for a long time that was ok. I took refuge in food it was my friend and it always made me feel better, and i never felt guilty because I didn't know that it was a bad thing. Surfice it to say as I became older the name calling became worse and i realised that i was fat and appartently it was my best friend making me fat .... that being food. I didn't realise that the food i ate contributed to my size it just didn't click but its true with age comes great knowledge that or rather a slap across the face.

So knowing that my best friend (food) was now my enemy, i decided that i didn't care and stayed were it was comfortable and really i was only chubby at least thats what my mum said... I was an active kid rode my bike everywhere and played outside untill it was dark. So when we moved to another town after my partents split did the weight then really start to pile on... My eating stayed the same but I wasn't riding my bike any more nor was i outside playing. This point of my life was crucial in the sense that instead of shakeing off old habbits and starting new i used my predicament as an excuse and decided to handle everything by not... I was invisiable for my teenage years, not too many friends, no boyfriends just reading books and eating to cover up how lost and insecure i was feeling.

I first really started to lose weight seriously ... 5 years ago... everyother time was just fickle and stupid and was me wishful thinking. So five years ago I was 120kgs at my heavyest ... I'm only 160cms tall (5'2) I lost 10 kgs in 3months with just walking but then winter hit and l hybernated and then winter would end and i would need to find the motivation to do it all over again. This has happened over and over again over the last 5 years and in totally i have lost 20kgs, which people keep telling that's still pretty good yeah but not if you look at all the times that i put on weight that i had already lost so really its not 20kgs but rather 60-80kgs.... stupid huh.

I started researching Gastric banding and Sleeve surgerys about 18mths ago... i really didn't want to resort to wls but i felt that i was unable to control my hunger and food itself