continued, part 3
By adamsmom
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So, after much soul-searching, I made the decision in October, 2008 to pursue weight loss surgery. I already knew that I did not want gastric bypass. I kind of like having my internal organs the way God made them, thank you very much! The Lap Band seemed less scary and a compromise I would be willing to accept, even though it would mean living with a foreign object inside of my body for the rest of my life. Everybody has to come to their own informed decision for their reasons for choosing one procedure over another, and I equally respect bypass and band patients who have their personal reasons for the going with choices they have made.
I scoured the Internet and read practically everything on the World Wide Web that has anything to do with weight loss surgery. I Googled “Bariatric surgeons, Sacramento area” and found Dr. Waldrep’s name, among several other local surgeons. Through Obesityhelp.com, and some other sites, I was able to read patient accounts of their experiences with the various bariatric surgeons. The countless glowing reports about Dr. Waldrep outnumbered those of every doctor in the Sacramento Valley and the Bay Area. After attending the Group Consultation meeting, I was convinced unequivocally, that I could trust Dr. Waldrep to cut my belly open on an operating table.
I had to change medical groups and sever ties with my PCP of sixteen years, so that I could get a new Sutter PCP who could get me the referral I wanted with Dr. Waldrep. This required additional research because I needed to select a PCP that I could stay with for a very long time. The SALSA team were wonderful, gracious, helpful and informative. I sailed through the pre-op process in record speed, so I am told, and had finally made it to this day when I would make one more effort for a chance at thinness, better health, an improved self-esteem, and the myriad of other reasons why all of us find ourselves succumbing to drastic surgical measures in pursuit of the otherwise unobtainable.
Throughout my journey, one recurring theme that surfaces above many of the others is that the band is only a weight loss tool, and not a panacea for weight loss. Even though I was a little disappointed that it wouldn’t be as simple as having the device implanted, and voila!, the weight would melt away with no effort on my part, I knew in my heart that in order for the Lap Band to work, I would have to work it. It would mean changing how I do a lot of things, most importantly, it would mean rearranging my priorities by “putting my self on the list”, as Wynona Judd says in her Alli commercials. Perhaps this is why I was compelled to reflect upon the past 15 years the night before my surgery. By doing so, I could take an honest look at how I had allowed myself to get to this state, and perhaps this time, I could enjoy permanent success and say goodbye to each and every one of those extra pounds forever.
Our children’s care giver arrived at 7:00, and finished getting the kids ready for school. I held my sweet boys tightly, kissed them both goodbye, and wished them a great day. They had been told that mommy had a doctor’s appointment today and she might not be home at the usual time. My husband and I decided not to tell our boys about the surgery because they are both extremely anxious about anything to do with hospitals or medical procedures. A part of me wanted to change my mind and be truthful about what I was about to do today, but their need for peace and calmness will always be greater than mine. The boys left for school, oblivious to my secret, but leaving me enough time to pour a deep, hot, swirling bubble bath, a small luxury I normally keep for the end of the day before I go to bed. Knowing that I would not be able to submerge my body in water for an entire week, I allowed myself this last indulgence one last time before surgery.
The surgery was uneventful and a complete success. I came home later that evening, told my children that I had a little operation on my tummy, and then I went to bed. My older one went with his dad to a medical appointment, and my little one climbed up on my bed next to me and read his Goosebumps book out loud. Only six days out, I have already lost eight pounds and I feel great! I even surprised myself by attending SALSA’s Gastric Band Support Group on Saturday. I have begun to work in daily exercise and I’m following the rules. My children know that Mommy will be taking “Me Time” from now on, and they accept that. My husband, who has been my rock, and has always loved and supported me no matter how much I weighed, continues to offer his full support as I embark upon this adventure. Being on the “other side” will be a learning curve for a while. I was never a protein shake drinker, and I’m learning how to eat all over again. I’m not so naive as to think it will all be smooth sailing, but for the first time in years, I have hope that this time, this weight loss effort will work.
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