I used to think...

I used to think I really loved me. I guess thes last couple days have proven me wrong, because I'm mentally falling into bad behaviors. Oh, nothing I'm in serious trouble for...for bad behaviors none the less. I'm biting and chewing...and chewed really super good and had some chicken breast. It felt wonderful. I had no problem getting it down, nothing came up, everything settled well. The part that scares me is whether or not I'm going to be able to stop myself next time.

Right now, I have a bowl of tomato soup with stuff in it. I don't know what the stuff is, and I'm not eating it, just the soup around it. Fair enough. But reality is, I need to get to know my blender. If I don't, I will fail.

Ok, so I do love my personality. I have a great sense of humor, sensitivity, caring, grace, understanding, and fairness. Everyone who knows me even half-way well loves me. I don't like my weight. My weight doesn't allow me to be the person that lives inside...I'm captive to it. Yet, on various diets, I have lost and then gained...sooooo...what is it i am afraid of, or don't like, or can't stand, or whatever that keeps me from wanting to lose weight??? That's my questions to myself...then I'll have my Oprah moment. So, I wake, believing tomorow will be a new day and bring about positive change. I look forward to the morning walk before work, and the rest I'll get tonight. And in looking ahead, I realize it's again time to stop, listen to creation, think about it, and pray.

I love it "my Oprah momment" Im gonna have to use that. Your gonna do great chicky keep it up