My journey back

I have had a hard year. My weight went right back up after I lost my insurance but now that I see insurance again in my future I have hope again. I am back on my pre-op meal plan ( I try not to use the word diet due to it's negative connotations ) and feel good about myself again. I still cannot exercise due to back and leg joint pain but do things in my chair, arm circles and leg lifts, etc...I look at my sister who had a baby Apr 07 and is back to her pre-baby weight and it makes me sick. I have to remind myself that she did not push her out she had a c-section and her hips didn't spread. She is 6ft tall and 125lbs. And beautiful. Some day I will be beautiful on the outside again. Until then I will work hard at being the best I can be.