I cried lastnight...

Yes, I cried. I am not really sure why, but I did. Well, I knew partly that it was because as I started my pre-op diet today and my old habits would die hard. I knew that today I would start a new journey that would bring me to new points in my life that I have never been before. I was a huge ball of emotions. I was happy that I would reach my goal but sad that I would have to leave my comfort zone in order to do so. Food to me is like a security blanket to a toddler. I will have to find comfort in something else. Maybe that's one reason I cried. What? What would I find comfort in?? Would it be enough to find comfort in each goal that I reach?? I don't know. I am simply going out on a limb knowing that I will grab hold of another "security blanket." a habit that is healthy. Perhaps, it was knowing that I simply couldn't binge as I sometimes did in rough times. I feel like a baby, literally. I know that I will have to learn new habits and find comfort in something else. I have been over weight my whole life so it's almost as if I am going to be reborn again. I read alot of post where people said that, now I really get it. Who will I become?? Will I be the same me?? I like who I am just not what I look like. Wow, this is a lot to take in.

Well fellow bandster and bansters-to-be....I do know one thing; I am going to take this leap with my head held high! I will try not to worry so much about the "what if's" and such. I am greatful that my insurance has approved me! :w00t:

Maybe I just needed to blog. I do feel better now.

I also know that I am not alone in this world. Someone out there in bandland has felt what I am feeling or something similar.

I will leave my insecurities at this blog. From this day forward I will wake each morning happy and thankful that I have a new happier, healthier life ahead of me. :crying:

Shwooo.....that felt good. Goodbye old worries. Hello new life!!!

hey i started my pre op today as well when is ur surgery if u dont mind me asking mines is the 13th i am happy and scared at the same time i just cant wait until the weight starts falling off if u know what i mean...

My surgery is 10/15. I can't wait to start losing either! Good luck on your post op diet.

i felt the same way in the beginning. see the thing is--at least for me--food is still my comfort.

when i'm celebrating i go out to eat. when i'm sad--i'll have a snack that evening. i still eat what i love--crab cakes, potatoes and soups (yes even cream based ones). i just do all this in small portions.

so the difference is..when i have a crappy day and feel the urge to binge..as most of us have...i stop myself...i say "ok i can treat myself today one time" and i stick to it.

a typical day for me (like today) is:

breakfast: cereal (Just a half a cup)

lunch: 1 small crab cake & 4 bites of potatoes (quite a bit of dipping sauce)

dinner: potato soup with a few croutons

See, i eat what i want...and i enjoy it too. After you get past the first 6-8 weeks--it will get easier. Just don't cheat...trust that this will work for you..and i promise you..when you lose some weight and people come up to you saying "damn girl" you will not want to binge. just take my word for it.

Good luck to ya!!

i know how you feel,i have found walking, running and bike ride is my new "blanket".I love it the new me is getting stronger and better everyday, you can do it.Find your "why" and work for it everyday.Belive in yourself..memom

Hi!

I'm sorry you had a sad moment...I'm sure I'll have several before this is over!

About your security "blanket", maybe take a class in something? I was just thinking about a friend of mine who went through a divorce and threw herself into everything to stay positive--it worked! (and eventually she had to slow down) She joined support groups, saw a therapist, took up contra dancing, joined a hiking club, and started participating in 5k walks for charities.

Glad you are feeling better!

Thanks everyone for your support! Ya'll are so great!