Feeling really self concisous

OMG this is so awful I have to log everything that goes into my mouth for 1 whole week. This is day one. I am starving to death but can't bring myself to eat the rest of my McSkillet Burrito because I know that the dietitian is going to be looking at the log and saying to herself "yep I know what this one's problem is"

I think I'll eat the whole thing and skip lunch then it won't look so bad right? I mean after I have the surgery there won't be anymore fast food for me so why not live it up. I know that's the attitude that got me here or at least part of the problem not all of it.

So long for now I have a date with the rest of my burrito.

Before reading this blog... I thought I was the only person who had mastered the arts of rationalization and justification!!

Just think, if you skipped that McBreakfast all together you could have had something different that was more filling and less calories! That's how I keep myself in check... Yeah, I could eat this cheeseburger... but for less calories I can have a big tasty portion of spaghetti squash pesto! :biggrin:

Good luck to you!!

That's not a bad way to look at it. I'll try that next time but unfortunately this morning was crazy and to tell the truth I didn't have the time to cook. Oh well tomorrow I'll do better (I hope) LOL. Thanks for the insight maybe I'll have some weight control oatmeal for breakfast tomorrow instead. Oh yeah I managed to throw out 1/3 of the burrito so I did save about 190 calories. That's better than I normally do I would have eaten the whole thing then felt so guilty that for lunch I would have had to have something worse. To make me feel better. I know I am totally sick when it comes to my relationship with food. But I am working on it.

Believe me... I am right there with you and the sick relationship with food!! You're better than me though, if I had actually gotten the burrito there is no way I would have thrown any of it out!! :biggrin:

You crack me up. I have just started logging everything I eat. I am using Fitday.com I really like their site. But man oh man, when you actually write it all down and SEE how much you are eating - wow. I think this will become my new obsession. It helps me decide how much of what I really want to eat.

I know it's horrible when you think OMG I can't write down that I at 10 carmel girl scout cookies!!!!!! Oh no not 5 slices of pizza too. Makes you think to yourself they are going to think I'm a total hog. Which of course I am otherwise I wouldn't need the band right.

I can't wait to get my band and be restricted I would love nothing better than to be like the tiny skinny girls that take a bite or two and claim that they can't eat another bite!!!!

Let me tell you all what also. I can't wait for someone to actually call me skinny again. Before children and husband I was a size 3 now I'm a size 22!!!!!!!!!! OMG and it's TIGHT!!!! I think I may have to order some size 24 for my uniform pants.

It is crazy, but, I realized last night when I beat myself up after eating a late snack of (mmm) refried beans lol. That my behavior hasn't changed. I was embarrassed that I was hungry at 8:00 and had to resort to eating fat free low calorie beans? WTF? Who am I kidding. I am still eating 1/4 of what I used to - I need to get over that.

I have also just started keeping track of my daily food intake. I use sparkpeople.com. I am working really hard to improve my relationship with food before surgery, but some days are still a big disappointment. Just don't get discouraged because you are hardly in this boat alone. Good luck!!