Jan 2, 2008

Journey? Why the drama? It wasnt a "journey" to fatness... it was an adventure revolving around food. So I am on a JOURNEY to lose weight. Oh what-the-f-ever. I have one more loooong day at work til Friday. I am really getting tired of the questions.. "whens your BIG day?." "Are you excited?" Okay, enough already we went thru this in November when I had to have a fatty liver and a doctor who wussed out and didnt finish the surgery. Friday's the day, YES, I am excited. What do they want me to say??? I'm scared shitless? Well guess what? I am. I am a food addict going to rehab the hard way. I grew up watching family members smoke, drink, do drugs and I swore I would never be addicted like that. Oh shit. I'm addicted to food. My lungs arent black, my liver has no cirrohsis, my brain cells are intact (for the most part) but dammit, I now weigh 225 pounds.

I went thru my clothing on New Years Day. I have pants/shorts from a 22 to an 8. Okay, the 8's still have the tag on them but obviously I must have thought that I'd wear them someday. How does one go from 168 to 240 in 5 years? Holy crap. So, being the pack-rat that I am, I have clothes to downsize in to after Friday. Some of them I cant wait to wear again, some of them I cant wait to wear for the first time. I have bikini's that are just calling my name. I dont know if I will wear them this summer or next but I WILL WEAR THEM. I might even wear them in public... heheehee. Right now, I will not get my thunderchunk ass in a bathing suit. I think what I most look forward to is getting rid of the granny panties and wearing cute undies again. Why dont the hanes-her-way people make attractive undies for us big girls? Once ya hit a size 8 undie, why do they only come in white? After a zillion trips thru the washer with all the other clothes, they are an attractive shade of grunge. One would think that big girl's would want nice undies to attempt to feel good. Think about it... we are big, we wake up and shower washing our excess fat lumps. Dry off, indulge in some self-lothing then put on a grungy looking pair of granny panties.. WHOA.. way to feel sexy.

Maybe I will make affordable and yet NICE undies for big girls....

You're a hoot! I can't stopping laughing.

Thanks.. you should see me in real life...lol. But I really am just being myself. Happy banding!!!!