3-16-06, Thursday

Well tommorow is my37 th birthday :phanvan I am not really upset about that. I am upset at myself. I feel that I am back to my old habbits again. I have to stop it and stop it now. I am not going back to that huge person tha I did not even know. Summer is on the way. I am not that far behinde that I can not catch up. I am not really even hungry when I eat it is purley out of old habits. :eek: I am the one who is is control of what I do. Which means that I am the one who is in charge of what I choose to put inside of my mouth. I am embaressed to go back to Stanish for a fill. I feel like I am letting him down. I know that he looks at me when ever I see him. I need to start measuring what I eat and that about what I am putting inside of my mouth. I need to write in this journal everyday. I have goals I have to meet. I need to make a mini goal and try to achieve that first instead of looking at the end goal. I have lost 80 pounds. I could have never done that with out the band. I want to start joggin. Once the weather gets better I am going to try to jog before I go to work. I think that if I really and I mean really watch my diet and can job five days a week that I will start to lose again. When Duane gets up ( he worked midnites) I will go out and get on my treadmil and do crunches on the ball. I just have to remember that I am responsible for me and that is it. If I have to write down everything that I put it my mouth then so be it. I also need to drink drink drink more water. My biggest thing is to go back to the sugar free diet. I was thinking about going on a liquid diet for a week or so to srink my stomach and start all over again. Oh God please please please be with my and help me to get back on the right pathway.

Ok enough with the Daisy bashing, I have to give myself credit for what I have already accomplished and give myself a chance to forgive myself and put this in the past and start over new. Ok know that I feel better about tying all of my feeling out I need to put them into to action.

DAISY, YOU CAN AND YOU WILL DO THIS GIRL!!!!!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: