This is the beginning of a major new journey for me. This operation will change my life, both good and "bad", and I feel that it's important to record my thoughts and feelings.

I made my decision rather quickly after doing a couple weeks of research, lurking on LBT and then talking with Dr. Spivak. I actually think I knew I was ready to sign up before I even walked into his office for the seminar.

I wake up every morning with a new enthusiasm about life and its possibilities. I am trying to keep a level head and know that this isn't going to be easy, but at the same time I absolutely know that this is the right thing to do for me. I know a lot about nutrition -- I am grateful for that. (I fear for those who really don't have a clue because they are out there.) My challenge will definitely be the exercise component -- I've never been able to make that happen with any consistency. Maybe when I get down 30# or so I'll sign up for Jazzercize. Well....I'm getting ahead of myself.

I have had this monkey on my back since I was 10 years old. For 38 years I have been obsessing about my weight and how am I gonna get it off....and rarely did I succeed. The tape loop in my head is soooooo old and I am sooooo sick of it. I wonder how many times per day I thought about it? 20? 30? .....no, probably more like 50. I just caculated it...that's 693,500 negative head-banging thoughts. Surely it is time to move on.

And I am "only" 60-70# overweight!! But I've carried 30-40 extra my whole entire life. I'm sick of it. Clearly as I'm getting older (48 now) I am moving in the wrong direction and headed for some major health problems. It's gotta change. It's gonna change.

So is this the "easy way out"? It's about knowing yourself, your personality, your health issues, your body. For me, this surely is my only hope...."easy" or not. I really don't give a rat's a**.