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A New Year/ an old problem

bormannk

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On January 15h I will be going to my 4th appointment with my primary doctor. It will be another bad appointment... I spend Christmas with my daughter in Phoenix, AZ and we ate a LOT. We are all experienced cooks and her husband is a gourmet cook. And eat is what we do - We eat to celebrate, we eat because we love it - truly enjoy it - and whenver I come to visit them, which happens once or twice a year, everyone cooks their specialty and we eat enough to last us the whole year.

As I read "Beyond the Refrigerator" I see myself on those pages. I know my weight problem is more than just lbs on a scale - there is an eating disorder there. An eating disorder that I have passed on to my daughter, who seems now to struggle just as much as I do.

The worst thing about our eating disorder is that no matter how big or small we are at a given time - we just can't see it. We "Feel" fat regardless and we allow that to dictate how we feel about ourselves, what kind of mood we are in that day, what we wear, where we go - if we go...

My daughter is about 30 lbs overweight since the baby (He's 18 months) as she is still nursing him (Attachment Parenting). But she might as well be 130 lbs overweight as awful as she feels all the time. It's really heartbreaking to see her anguish and pain and to know I have (as a single parent) taught her to be that way. That is all she knows.

I know it's time for optimism and positive thoughts and New Year Resolutions but all I think about is how my choices have affected my girls in the past and how my future choices/ Surgery/ Weight loss will affect them in the future.

I know there is no point in worrying and pre ocupying myself, but my heart is not at peace for them.

Anyway - I am going to begin a low carb, high protein regimen this weekend (when I can get to the grocery store) and work on those 13-20 lbs weight loss I need to accomplish pre-surgery.



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Happy New Year and good luck. We all choose WLS because we all have an eating problem. Each one of has it a little different than the other person. Last week my MIL asked how I got fat because I am a very plain eater, no salad dressing, no extras, never had mayo, mustard etc. I loved fried foods. I could eat a large pizza everyday. I gave up fried foods except for maybe 1-3 fries from my husband's plate. I loved bagels and lox or french toast for breakfast, now just protein shakes. I only have crusty breads in restaurants.

I have made a lot of great changes and still do. I am far from perfect but over eating gets stuck and I hate the feeling. I have never thrown up, which is wonderful.

Maybe see your dietitian before surgery or talk to someone in the WL field about your family eatings.

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I am so pleased with myself. In May 2013 I weighed in at 119.6kilos. I lost weight on my pre surgery diet and weighed in at 102 kilos the day of my surgery. My most recent weigh in had me at 90.2 kilos. I have 20 more kilos to lose. I have had 2 adjustments and will be booking in for my final one shortly. Slow and steady, but I feel much healthier already.

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Wow, I didn't realize that other people felt that way. I understand what you're going through as a parent...an with the weight. I had my daughters very young, and didn't know what to teach them because I didn't know myself. They grew up following my bad habits. I had the sleeve in 2010, and did great....until I had a life changing stressor that put me back on the road to the tormenting yo-yo of control. Eventually, it seemed that I felt like I never had the sleeve. I had no clue what to do.

I believe bariatric surgery is a great tool, but would tell people to please recognize it as such. I didn't change what SENT me to the fridge, therefore, I went back. I didn't really change the eating habits I had either. I wound up apologizing to the girls for failing them in what I taught (or didn't teach) them. They're grown now.

I'm so thankful to God to have found Plexus, as it has made me feel like my sleeve is tighter than ever, and keeps my blood sugar leveled at all times, so that I'm not running for the bite size candy bars anymore. Everyone had to find their way, and I just want to encourage you to keep learning, growing and you'll make it! Your daughter understands that us Moms aren't perfect...too bad we don't find that out earlier!!

Blessings to you and your weight loss journey!

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