Last night (25th) i had 1/2 a slice of very thin lunchen ham. I was in so much pain about 20 minutes after. I have been able to get down all my fluids but it hurts.

I called my surgeon just now, and he said as long as i am getting down all my liquids, i SHOULD drink some diet soda to alleviate the pain some. He said if i am still in pain tomorrow afternoon he will see me first thing Saturday morning to take out a little fluid from my band for a week to let the irritation settle and then he will fill it back in the following Friday.

A life time of bad choices are so hard to break but if i dont start i am doomed. But just getting the band shows i do want to change. I am counting the days till i see my psychologist again, so we can continue deep therapy on many issues but also my over eating and emotional eating. That is what caused me to have the ham last night. My sister in-law made me feel shitty as a parent because i only bought my kids 1 Christmas gift each (an ipod shuffle) and only spent $50 on each of them.

I knew they were getting gifts from others and they also know Christmas is about sharing love not getting as much gifts as you can.

Im mad at myself for letting her get to me but i am madder that i put myself in all this pain because of how i felt about it all.

Roll with the punches, right.. well this feels like i have been punched in the chest and neck.. but i am proud that i fessed up to my surgeon and he was able to put me at ease and can help as soon as we get back into town, as we are 2 hours away staying at a Historical Gold Rush theme park for 2 days.

And NEENER NEENER to my sister inlaw because my kids said coming to this place was the best Christmas gift EVER!!