Anticipation

Anticipation is the title of one of my favorite collections of music by Trey Songz. I am totally anticipating when I will be sleeved. I've posted several times how I have to wait 12mths, and for some reason it seems like time is moving slow. I have some major health issues, and I really need to get this weight off. I'm currently yo yoin back and forth between being concious of what I eat, to just eating what ever. I recently learned that I have a dermoid cyst on my remaining ovary, which puts my goal of having more children in jeopardy.

About 4 years ago I have my left ovary removed due to having a large dermoid cyst that went undetected. I vowed to keep an eye on this one, and sure enough, here we go again. My goal was to lose weight, find prince charming, get married, and then we'd have 1 or 2 babies. I currently have a 19yr old son, which I had when I was 15. I have raised him to the best of my ability and for the most part he is a good kid. Peer pressure is a b***h! I think that is what is leading him right now, though I know he has the mind to making his own decisions. Anyway, I have wanted to have a child with a more traditional way, and be able to prepare for the child, decorate a nursery, and just have that joy filled experience that surrounds the adult experience of having a child.

Now, that I have this tumor, I am forced to think of other alternatives such as sperm donation. I would have never thought of this happening, but it has. I'm just hoping now I can lose the weight to even do that.

I'm so hoping that the tumor does not grow quickly, and that it just remains dormant to give me the opportunity of reaching my goals of losing weight, being healthy, and having a baby.

Everyone who reads these words please pray for me. I'm just really nervous, and stressed out about this.