OMG...I actually went through with it!

OMG...I actually did it. 10/06/11 I followed through with my decision to have the sleeve. 8 days after the surgery I am feeling pretty good (starting full liquids today). Oh boy but let me tell you how difficult the first 4 days were. I was scheduled to come home on the 8th but wasn't discharged until the 10th. I had to stay two extra days because I was unable to keep any fluids down, stop spitting or getting rid of the nausea. Between the never ending hangover and the pain I was miserable. I cried, I pouted, I questioned and I prayed. As I lay there in the hospital with my eyes closed and my stomache doing cartwheels I just kept asking myself why couldn't I do this the "natural" way. I mean really, why and the hell would someone volunteer to have 75% of thier stomache removed from their body? I can speak for myself when I say I was out of control. Food had become my way to dull my pain and celebrate my joys. I have always struggled with my weight but this time it was like the off switch had been removed and all I wanted to do was eat (healthy or bad food). I worried that people would judge me and think I was weak because I was having surgery. But I have come to terms with that and realize that it doesn't matter what I did previously or how people view my decision. I am doing this for my physical, mental and emotional health. I am committed and focused to changing my thinking and behaviors. I don't ever want to feel the way I have in the past.

Today is good day....I was very fortunate that I was surrounded by family and friends checking on me. Now that I have been home for almost 4 days I am feeling much better. I am not drinking nearly enough but I am able to keep things down, free of pain meds and up and moving around.

I know that this journey has just begun and there will be difficult days ahead....