I am going to Six Flags tomorrow and for the first time since probably high school, I am not dreading trying to squeeze myelf into the coaster cars...how 'bout that for an NSV! And when I fly to Cozumel in december, my plane seat will be much roomier! My feet have shrunk 1 1/2 sizes!! AND I wore my husband's camo to deer hunt in tonight...lol...a bizarre NSV but a good one nonetheless. Can't wait to be able to wear his jeans in addition to the camo pants and shirts! I can get the jenas on but all my loose fat rolls get squeezed up under my boobs nd it looks terrible...lol. I can wear his t-shirts though without stretching them out of shape. And finally,I got my first back massage from my hubby since my surgery and he was complaining that my back was bony...and the massage hurt because he was grinding my skin over my bones without any of my old cushion! That was a surprise.

In other news, my promotion has been God send. I love it! I have found the perfectblend of nurse management/educator and I actually enjoy my work again! The only thing is, I can't sleep at nigh because I am thinking about work. I also am itching ALL the time. I think even though I don't perceive any stess right now, it has manifested itself with insomnia and itching and eczema flareups. Maybe too much change too soon? I think I need to see my PCP and get something to mellow me out a little or at least to shut my brain down at night so Iam not lying awake thinking about diet and exercise and work. None of these thought cycles are very rest-inducing!

I also am having self-esteem and sex drive issues. In the past, when I have lost alot of weight and even been at the weight I am now, I have had soaring confidence and my drve was out of this world, but not this time. When I look in the mirror and am in my birthday suit, I cringe at the flabby dimply mess! I don't know why this is...I have added more resistance training to tone up, but heck, I should be tickled that I am in a 14 and can actually shop places other than Lane BRYANTor in the plus sections a dept stores. And because I feel so bad about the way I look, my sex drive has not improved with all this weight loss. Hopefully in time I will tighten up and this will change.