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Feeling guilty and Stressed

By Cwalband

· 695 views

My cousin and I have been close since we were kids, we do everything together. We are both over weight and have dealt with that together and have given each other emotional support, well I'm easily 80-100 pounds heavier than she is... and since I have started the journey for WLS she has distanced herself. Until last night she was giving me support, and all of a sudden broke down and just made me feel so guilty. She complained about the surgery and couldn't stop bringing up all the things I couldn’t do anymore.. I was ready to freak out.. but I just told her that my health and happiness out weight all of things I will have to cut out of my life. She continued to express how she was jealous.. I have never seen this side of her. She has always been prettier than me and more social and maybe she is intimidated that I’m making a change for the better.. idk but I sat up with a heavy heart last night.. I know I'm doing this for ALL the right reasons and I'm done with people bringing me down. I even told her I would take her to true results so she could have a free consultation and maybe start the same journey.. idk.. I guess I’m just stressed and felt like venting! Xx

  • 6 Comments

    Recommended Comments

    Expert Member

    Royalrags

    LAP-BAND Patients

    you poor darling!!! I have to admit I have noticed a change in a Couple of friends that I was very close to since I started the journey.... I had surgery 3 days ago, None the less I had to come to terms that Misery loves company and I can not afford to stay in the pity party My health means more to me than the feelings of a few nay sayers what I can say is I think all parties yours and mine will come around!!! Keep your head up!!

  • Quote
    • Bariatric Hero

    ♥LovetheNewMe♥

    LAP-BAND Patients

    Jealousy is the ugly green eyed monster and it is unfortunately a natural response for your cousion. I think you may want to look deeper at what she is really trying to tell you. She is scared, scared that if you loose weight and she does not that your feeling about her or how you look at her will change. Your choice to have surgery was a personal choice and everyone has to want it for the right reasons and yours are sincere and for the right reasons. Give her time and space and hopefully she will come around and realize that fat or thin you are the same person. I the am half the person I used to be but I am the same person inside that I was 3 years ago, difference is I like me better. Remember you can not change her and how she feels but you can be in control of how you respond to her comments and reactions as you loss weight. Good luck to you and wishes for great success in your new life style choice.

  • Quote
    • Junior Guru

    Quahog

    LAP-BAND Patients

    You sound very caring. I hope she comes around and thinks about your feelings too. Family is soooo complicated.

  • Quote
    • Aspiring Evangelist

    Cwalband

    LAP-BAND Patients

    you poor darling!!! I have to admit I have noticed a change in a Couple of friends that I was very close to since I started the journey.... I had surgery 3 days ago, None the less I had to come to terms that Misery loves company and I can not afford to stay in the pity party My health means more to me than the feelings of a few nay sayers what I can say is I think all parties yours and mine will come around!!! Keep your head up!!

    Thanks darling! I will keep my head up. :D

  • Quote
    • Aspiring Evangelist

    Cwalband

    LAP-BAND Patients

    Jealousy is the ugly green eyed monster and it is unfortunately a natural response for your cousion. I think you may want to look deeper at what she is really trying to tell you. She is scared, scared that if you loose weight and she does not that your feeling about her or how you look at her will change. Your choice to have surgery was a personal choice and everyone has to want it for the right reasons and yours are sincere and for the right reasons. Give her time and space and hopefully she will come around and realize that fat or thin you are the same person. I the am half the person I used to be but I am the same person inside that I was 3 years ago, difference is I like me better. Remember you can not change her and how she feels but you can be in control of how you respond to her comments and reactions as you loss weight. Good luck to you and wishes for great success in your new life style choice.

    Yes, i feel like she is struggling with the same emotional and physical problems as I am. I just want her to be as happy as I'm going to be! Thanks for all the support! I'm going to give her time and space. Thanks again. :D

  • Quote
    • Aspiring Evangelist

    Cwalband

    LAP-BAND Patients

    You sound very caring. I hope she comes around and thinks about your feelings too. Family is soooo complicated.

    I hope for the same! I just care about her, same with my entire family. Thank you so much! :D

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