Fear

Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy.” Denis Waitley

I've often asked myself "What is it you're afraid of?" This is a scary question, because once asked, there is an implied responsibility to change something in our lives. Identifying what scares us can be difficult. One tool my counselor gave me was that after every response, I was to ask myself "Why" until I got to the point I had identified the root cause. In business we called this "drilling down" and it can truly be gut wrenching and painful.

An example of a root cause analysis might go like this:

*Why can't I lose weight? I eat more calories than I expend. Why? I'm always hungry. Why? I don't even think about how I feel. Why? I feel uncomfortable and want to eat when I think about how I feel. Why? I don't know how to change. Why? I haven't learned how to change the way I eat. Why? I'm afraid I will fail.

Root cause: fear of learning how to eat properly and take personal responsibility for success or failure.

This "personal responsibilty" issue is a big one. Many of us have been victims of abuse, neglect, crimes, etc. When we continue to live in the "victim suit", we give our abuser our power. We do this because we haven't faced the reality that someone we trusted and loved hurt us. Facing that reality can be more painful than living as a victim, or so we think. When we face the facts and hold our abuser responsible, there is a big shift in power and responsibility. We take ownership of our actions, feelings and well being and we give the guilt and responsibility for the abuse back where it belongs, with the person who hurt us. Sitting in a chair and telling a therapist that your mother didn't protect you from a predatory male in your family can be one of the most painful truths to acknowledge. The person who was responsible for nurturing, protecting, putting you ahead of herself, did not. I know, I've done it, it hurt like hell.

Once we acknowledge our truth, whatever it is, we take back the power to change our lives. We first work on the thoughts, the negative self-talk. Practice telling yourself that you are worth it, you are powerful, you will change one thing at a time. Maybe, this week, you give up one carb loaded treat you think you enjoy (I say think, because often we don't really enjoy them...it's a habit, not a pleasure). Next is the action step: Just do it! Throw it away if you have it in the house, then buy something healthy to eat as a substitute. Maybe you're the type of person who does it cold turkey...rid the house of ALL processed foods and beverages. Think of the power you take in doing this! Imagine yourself eating healthy nutritious foods and taking control of your own life. Action steps are the key in this process. WE CANNOT CHANGE ANYTHING WITHOUT A VERB. I think I can turns into I will when we add the action step.

My band journey, though not as long-lived as I would have liked, has been this type of process. I WANTED to lose weight, but I took no ACTION that would result in me losing weight. When I went on Medicare Disability, the opportunity to make this change became available and I jumped on it. I started calling different hospitals and WLS clinics to see if they accepted Medicare...that was a tough one. Finally, a really kind person at the University Hospital directed me to another local hospital who she knew took medicare for lapband or RNY. When I called to make an appointment, they got me in within a week. I took action. I took the power. I took personal responsibilty for my success.

I wouldn't say my weight loss journey was easy...it's had it challenges. My band was the perfect tool for me, keeping me free of hunger for 4-6 hours after a very small meal. Even empty, I'm rarely hungry. Losing my band and not being able to revise is extremely scary...I need to ask myself WHY.

Here we go again....