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I Don't Know What I Need

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mags2u

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So, I'm almost two months out, down 34 pounds. Yeah! Woohoo. Well rewind, really it's only 32lbs because I was down to 282 the other day and I thought, sweeeeet that's almost down to the "seventies"! So what did I do? Well how else does a fat chick celebrate an accomplishment? Eat, right? I tell you what, this has been a challenging journey thus far and holy cannoli I'm only in two months! I don't know how I was physically able to eat a FOOTLONG Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki. I have got to get over this hump in my brain to actually listen to my stomach when I'm full. It's as if I feel sorry for the food left on the plate (I know because bread and sweet onion chicken have feelings, right!). Tonight I found myself getting my husband DQ (at his request) and although I didn't choose my normal large, opting for the mini midnight truffle, I was STILL GETTING DQ!

 

On a positive note, I've picked back up on my exercise and have even gotten my step kids into the Just Dance 3! I know there are going to be ups and downs, and ups and downs both numerically on the scale, as well as emotionally in my head. Just thought I would vent my feelings here tonight, because I just needed to. Kind of like going to confessional, it just feels good.

Thanks for listening :blink:

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It is definitely a challenge! I find myself wanting to reward with eating, but am starting to realize that is when I need to do something else. I am just having a hard time finding something that was as instantly gratifying as eating was. I am doing good, but the whole mind game and old habits take an effort to get by!

p.s.- it's not just you I just know that the chicken does have feelings! lol

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I just have to add that you are not the only one who "feels sorry" for the food left on the plate. I swear I look at what I should leave & think...."oh I shouldn't leave it. I took it out & hate to throw it away. It's just a little bit. blah. blah. blah" Completely irrational, but just how I feel all the same...

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Don't be surprised if later on you actually get depressed over not being able to eat as much. I went through that about 5 or 6 months in. When I first started to get restriction, it was tough. It's hard to break up with food. Especially when you have to see it everyday. You are on the first upward climb of the roller coaster. Just sit back and enjoy the ride!

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Your blogs are always so informative and always helps me understand (since I am experiencing alot of the same feelings as you) I am going for my first fill on 3/13 (my daughters 22nd birthday) have to be on liquids day of and day after so celebrating with her on the previous sat or sunday. i have to make a conscious effort in regards to eating and I am hoping the fill will assist me with my hunger. I wish you well and keep up the good work.

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Don't be surprised if later on you actually get depressed over not being able to eat as much. I went through that about 5 or 6 months in. When I first started to get restriction, it was tough. It's hard to break up with food. Especially when you have to see it everyday. You are on the first upward climb of the roller coaster. Just sit back and enjoy the ride!

Love that phrase, breaking up with food! We really are, aren't we.

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OMG! Thanks for that blog! I was starting to feel like I was the only one who didnt want to disappoint the rest of my food by not eating it. In fact, I do better eating with my hubby because i just hand it to him and like the natural garbage disposal he is (he eats everything and doesnt gain a lb) he takes care of it. I feel good he feels full and we both are happy. Yet, if I eat alone I have to really concentrate!

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