long time gone...

well, I have fallen off the ww wagon...actually I fell off about 2 weeks ago when I went in and the scale said I had gained back 3 of my hard lost 7.5 pounds in just 1 week! Even though I had my period that week I was crushed. I was also getting bored with the counting and journalizing even though thats the only way i can ever loose weight. I did not go for my weigh in last Tuesday and I missed today also so if I do go back next Tuesday it will have been three weeks. I only lasted for 6 weeks. That seems to be my limit with ww. I don't know why. I am going to go back to it as of today though and hopefully the scale wont be completely horrifying next week. The fat dietician (me) meets with the skinny dietician this week to get my dose of why I am fat and how to get skinny from a sweet innocent size 5, 23 year old. She really is rather nice though so I won't be catty just because I am jealous!! The irony of the entire situation really gets to me though. I am just going through the motions because of hte whole insurance BS. Getting real old too. I have decided on how I am gonna do all of my surgeries though and that has eased my mind some what. Hopefully I will get the go ahead from my insurance company in January and I can have the band procedure done in February. Then in July I will have bilateral skin sparing mastectomy with implant reconstruction and an oopherectomy or possibly a full hysterectomy at the same time if they will do it all at once. I am waiting for my BRCA 1 results to officially come back...just a technicality since I know I have the mutation...well theres a 1 in 10000000000000000 chance that I don't but...I'm not holding my breath. My sister lucked out and she tested negative Thank You God. Now my greatest prayer will be that both of my children are spared. If my daughter has the mutation she says she wants to have the bilateral mastectomy soon. I hate for her to have to face such a decision so young. She is only 22. Chances are that she won't have to worry about it for another 10 or 15 years, but the chances of me getting breast cancer at 37 were less than 3% of all breast cancers. So I don't trust odds. I won't try to influence her decision because I could never live with myself if she waited because I advised her to wait and then ended up with breast cancer. Please God..please spare my children from this disease. I ask this in your Son Jesus name. Amen.

Lord thank you for hearing chameleon prayer Lord. You said where we are gathered together in 2 or more you will be present. We are asking that Chameleon's children will not have the mutation. Lord we also ask that Chameleons unselfish plea also is given to her. Lord please let her BRCA1 test come back negative. All things are possible through you and we trust in you Lord. In Jesus name WE pray AMEN!