Almost Two Years on.................

Almost 2 years since my band became a part of me I have cracked 10 stones! 142 lbs to be exact and never did I ever imagine I would lose so much. Most of the weight loss was in the first year and now it's just an occasional pound here and there that I lose. I reckon I am almost at my natural weight and still I am obese! I am 7lbs away from weighing the same as I did when I was 18, I am now 52 so I can be happy where I am and a little happier if I make it eventually.

Still I can not get used to being smaller. I see gaps in aisles when shopping and look for a bigger space in which to manouevre my bulk. I can now bend in a smaller space without knocking items from shelves with my derriere, that's bizarre. I still talk about the band like it happened yesterday and expect never to get really used to it. Daily, some days, hourly it reminds me of it's presence. I do forget for a short time that I have it now and again and make the mistake of not chewing properly, of placing too much food in my mouth and forgetting NOT to try and hold a conversation at the same time, therefore forgetting that vital chewing process we must all remember with every bite.

I have dropped 6 English sizes and am now size 18. I know this would be horrific for a woman who has been used to being size 8 or 10 but for me this is slim, normal, no longer freakish or the butt of skinnie's jokes. Not that I ever heard many of them anyway so they were wasting their breath. Being 'normal' is difficult to comprehend. I have met up with some old friends since having the band fitted and they see no difference as I was this size when they last saw me, I imagine I bore them rigid with my talk about it at times. One friend did tell me not long ago that I really wasn't the dress size I thought I was and to try smething 2 sizes smaller. Can you imagine when that 2 sizes smaller fit? I was used to wearing loose clothes for so long that it never occured to me to wear something that fit me. Now instead of specialist larger ladies clothes by mail order I can walk in the supermarket and buy regular clothes. I have choices.

I probably will never have my band tightened again, we get on ok as we are now even though some days do seem much tighter than others, today especially feels like a tight belt around my middle. I dream of it being removed and eating pizza, loaves of bread, take away all to myself, well I can dream but it's really the nightmare lifestyle that got me where I was. Hell I miss pizza and no doubt about it but Pizza manages quite well without me thank you and I manage much better without IT!