Love/hate relationship.

There's a thread on here about taking the easy way out and how many people who have not had WLS or any type of weight problem see it as a shortcut. But for me personally, I almost feel like I took the hard way. Let me explain:

I feel like with all of the fad diets, crazy exercise routines, weight-loss pills, "miracle" cures, weight-loss is even harder, even for the average person looking to lose 10-15lbs. While I do love my band and wouldn't trade it for the world, I almost feel like it sort of blinded me to the reality of healthy eating and nutrition.

I hopped on the low carb band wagon really hard. I ate no fruit, no high carb veggies, was strict strict strict until about 3 months ago. During the first 6-7 months I lost amazingly, and I am glad that I rarely hit a long standing plateau, but at the same time I feel like I was almost put behind a mask; my brain went into this "food is evil; carbs are evil; high calorie foods are evil" way of thinking and now that my weight-loss is pretty much in a range I can deal with, it has been hell trying to break these thoughts. I never thought it would be hard to tell myself it's okay to eat carbs. It's okay to eat chocolate. I can eat anything I want. But the fact is that food is not evil. Food didn't make me fat. In my case, overindulging with little to no exercise made me fat.

Yesterday I had an Oreo truffle; that's right. A bunch of freaking Oreos mixed with cream cheese and covered in white chocolate. I ate it; devoured more like it and then I felt an immediate sense of guilt. Why? Why does eating something sweet make me feel guilty? I'm not sure. But within a few minutes I came to my senses and realized that ONE truffle was not going to kill me. I was not going to gain 5lbs from it.

It's funny how I've gone from being a food lover, to a food hater, and nowadays I am slowly, but surely, training my brain to realize that no food is bad. Nothing; none of it. And plenty of people on here will disagree, but I've allowed more "junk" food into my diet and I love it, but the sense of guilt still lingers.

I can't wait until the day where I feel skinny, can eat whatever I want, and not second guess my choice.