A New Life

Wow, has it really been eight months since I last posted here? So much has changed since then...

On December 12, 2010, my DH and I went to the storage shed out back and pulled out the holiday lights to decorate the house. Unknown to us, a certain mold entered my DH's lungs because he was a lifelong smoker. Aspergillosis has a 95% mortality rate. It took my poor darling until January 2, 2011 to die in ICU. Thanks to the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends, I was able to not only pay for his funeral but also live until I could find work.

In late January, I went to see my primary care doctor to ask for anti-depressants. Before my banding, I'd been on the same prescription, so I figured this would be a quick visit. It would not be. The physician's assistant asked me if I'd ever considered suicide. I answered yes, because before my banding I had. Then she asked if I knew what method I'd choose if I did. I answered yes again because I'm a writer, and we research everything. I didn't know it at that moment, but I'd sealed my fate. I found myself incarcerated in a mental ward for 72 hours observation. Here in Florida, it's called "being Baker Acted." Have you ever been locked up in a psych ward when you're not in need of it? By the end of the three days, you'll need to be there. They nearly broke me, and I don't mind admitting it. If it hadn't been for the visits of a dear family friend named David, it's quite possible they might have succeeded.

One of the reasons I'd been depressed was my difficulty in finding a job. I've been a housewife for a long time. Finally, I got the call. On what would have been our 30th anniversary, I entered training to become a customer service representative.

To celebrate my return to the work force, David asked to take me to a local Medieval Faire. I happily accepted. When I admired a pearl ring, he bought it and slipped it on my finger. He said, "I know it's rude, but I can't wait any longer. Lena, I've loved you from afar for twenty years, but I didn't want to disturb your happy marriage. I know it's too soon to answer, but will you consider marrying me in a year or two, when you're ready?"

I have agreed to think about it, and I'll give him an answer next New Year's Eve.