Dating?

So, I had my first "skinny date" last night. My first date in over a year and my first date not as a morbidly obese person since I was, err, a teenager?

I actually enjoyed it and was just sort of chilled out and had a good time. I felt like a girl, not a fat girl. A first for me. I didn't sit and worry about sucking it in or trying to show my good side. Or worry if I was eating too much or eating something that made me look like a pig...I just was...and I loved it. We strolled around the park after dinner and I kept catching my shadow from the street lights and thinking, wow, look at those curves...she's got boobs and hips and, well WOW.

I don't know if anything will happen with this particular gentleman but I'm no longer absolutely terrified of dating. A feeling I never thought I'd feel. I guess since I no longer hate myself and am not constantly putting myself down I'm not so worried about guys doing the same. Whew.

I hate that I've spent my life not liking myself. I hate that I let myself get so obese and let it take over my life. But I thank God for y lap-band and that I got this surgery (remind me of that the next time Steve is acting up and I'm wanting to rip him out). Oh AND...I came clean about the band before our first date...just talking about our history and blurted it out, it was not an issue. Glad I got it out of the way so I don't have to obsess over it.

Look our world, here I come!