Almost Blue

Today sucks. I am really down. I have gone off the deepend with my eating. Since my stomach thing started i have lost restriction and have gone overboard eating unhealthy stuff and not really enjoying it. I am over eating to see if I can make myself feel anything, and alas I can't. I don't know what's going on. I'm scared, and kinda down...really down. I wish I knew what was going on, wish things were back to normal. I guess this is just a wave i'm going to have to ride out.

Its awful to feel so down. I think the overeating is a way to punish yourself too. Have you ever considered getting some meds for depression. I did about at least 15 yrs ago and it was the best thing besides banding I ever did for myself. Ive been that down before and its a sad way to feel.

I care.

edie

Ive read thru your journal to try to understand you. I am writing this at 1235 am so I understand about late night eating. My old meal started at 2pm and went on until 2am and got me up to 272lbs.

So im writing to ask do you drink your water or chrystal light at night too? My liquids help me stay full . I eat sf popsicles every night though.

Your weight loss is great . I would be so proud of myself.

You know where your eating problem is so try to come up with a solution that will help you. Could you leave some calories for at night? Like a 80 calorie pina colada yogurt?

I just trying to let you know someone is listening.

edie

Never do that again. It is best to have fear that if you at one more thing, it will make you sick. Get a fill and get scared. I was blue yesterday and today I feel a little better.