Emotions????

Emotions????

I don't know if I can put into words how I feel, but here goes. Surgery tomorrow. Woke up feeling very sad, and tierd. This confused me. I should be excited. Now whats wrong me. Maybe I am crazy. Well I guess I can try to explore these feelings since I can no longer turn to my best friend (FOOD).

Well I am a little nervous about the pain after surgery. I have Fibromyalgia, so Doctor said pain is worse for us, and recovery usually twice as long. I have given birth to 5 children, 4 no drugs, heck the Dr. didn't even make it in time for birth of my son. Not good, very painful. Baby was 10 pounds 1 oz. Survived that, getting banded will be fine. Next emotion- Feeling sad? I am going to miss my friend. We have been through so much together. Drug and alcohol addiction,(been sober 16 years) Divorce, quit smoking(defiantly ate my way through that one) Losing my mom, and 5 kids moving out and starting their own lives, and so much more. We won't even get into all the good times. Why does popcorn with extra butter make every movie just a little bit better? Is food really my best friend? NO!! I have gained 147 pounds eating my way through life, which of course has caused numerous health problems. Next emotion? Trying not to get to excited so I won't feel let down if surgery doesn't happen tomorrow. Well that one is just dumb get over it! I then decide to come here so I can write down how I feel. That in itself is weird. I don't blog, heck I don't even journal. But oddly enough it seems to help allot. I log on and I am so surprised people not only read my blog but they left comments!!! While I am reading them I get tears in my eyes. Tears of joy :confused: People care about me and my feelings. Now that's a new feeling. Their support and words of encouragement are truly amazing. One person was even spot on about me taking care of everyone else but me. I have said these very words. I have been a wife since I was 18, and a mom at 19. It has never been about me, and I think its about time!! This has left my kids wondering what about them. They want to know if we will have still have family dinner every sat. and many more questions about them. Whatever. It is time they see me as more than a short- order cook. Hey I like that feeling:lol:

So I have explored each emotion instead of eating. Outcome? I feel nothing but excitement. I am having life changing surgery in exactly 24 hours and 3 min from right now!!! :thumbup:How blessed am I!!!

I am so excited for you! you are going to do greaT...It's time for YOU!!! YOU and only YOU! Trust me, it's going to be amazing!!! Good Luck and keep us posted!

This is an emotional process, so I feel sure you will have LOTS of them. Good luck with your surgery! We will all be here eager to hear how it went.

Let me tell you, I thought I was losing my mind before I had to start the pre-op diet. I was not really sure if I wanted to give my friend up. While I totally hate being fat, I totally love my friend food. Glad they did not send me to the crazy doctor that day or they would have reconsidered my approval for the surgery. You will do fine with the surgery. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress. I have 5 more days counting down! Woot Woot!

I am 36 hours away and I totally understand the emotions. Tonight was the last "meal" of real food for a while. I didn't overeat. I am finished with that. I want to feel good also and I am excited for the change!

Keep us posted on how you are doing after surgery....