Day 1

Well, I would love to be posting with excitement and enthusiasm. It is there, bubbling under the surface. It wants to come out. I just have to be careful. I have started so many many times before. I remember sitting in a weight watchers meeting in a basement of some office building, being led by a woman wearing a dress that looked like it went out of style 20 years before she lost the weight she was when it first fit her. I remember the sadness I felt being there and the desperation and sense of failure that must have driven us all to sit on these metal folding chairs in this basement, getting weighed and hoping some of the words the leader said or one of us said would be the thing that would make it happen and we could be thin and happy.

So here I am again. 5 years post-op. I finally came to the band believing that my weight wasn't my fault and I didn't really need to have control. That my body's desire to be fat was genetic and biological (see all my fat relatives?) and really I had to admit that and to stop trying to diet to be thin. I lost about 65 lbs, mostly during the liquid diet stage and a few months post-op. But then I started some bad habits and also developed some complications and then got pregnant and then had really bad complications (throwing up bile every night in my sleep). So I got the band repositioned and thankfully have not suffered that symptom again. But I also have not gone back to the eating with the band that helped me lose weight. I still use food as my entertainment and comfort and choose a lot of sweet and carby food. So I gained about 20lbs back. I would need to lose 90lbs to get to my ultimate goal weight.

Can I do that? I haven't weighed that little since I was 9 years old. To lose weight in a healthy way, I would need to seriously reduce my calorie intake and increase my exercise. To get the ball rolling, I am going to start a liquid diet. This will help me to reset the clock, take the focus away from food and give me time to plan menus.

You can do it. Start just like you did when you first got the band. Journal your food. Start with a little excersise and build from there. How long has it been since you have seen your lapband doc? Consider scheduling with him and getting back on track. It is not too late. Sounds like you know what to do because you have done it before. Good luck.

Thanks Jewel. Yes, I need to get in the groove. I have a good fill now. Have just been eating around it. I will see my doc if I need to change the fill.

Take care!