Twas the night before surgery.....

and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except for me.

I thought I would feel differently by the time I reached this point. I expected to be so proud for sucessfully completing my preop diet. And I do feel that. But I don't feel the excitement I thought I would.

I am thrilled that I made it through the diet. I didn't cheat once, no bites, no licks. Perfect. And I am happy, but not exstatic like I thought. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so, so very tired. This diet has done a number on my body. I'm often dizzy and lightheaded, and usually very tired. It makes it hard to celebrate anything like that!

Maybe I'm tentative because up until this point, I've seen the surgery itself as an escape from the preop diet. But now that I'm there, I am realizing the enormity of what tomorrow brings. I've had surgery before, but never one that I chose to have. I've never been in a situation where I could change my mind if I wanted to.

I'm a little afraid of the pain. But I'm mainly afraid that I won't make it through the next weeks until I get a fill, or even until I get enough fills, that I am not hungry and struggling. While in one sense, the surgery is the end... it is really the beginning. For the last 3 1/2 weeks I had someone dictating what I would eat, how much, and that I would eat nothing else. After the surgery, I will have to make choices again. Choices are dangeous for me...

I am looking forward to moving on. Hoping God is merciful and will continue to give me strength and able to get through this!

You will been fine. Yes there may be pain but again you will be fine. It is a journey and a great one at that. It has changed my life in six months I am a different looking and feeling person. I am very happy and I can work with this tool and it works for me. Follow the rules and all will go well. Best wishes on your journey. imaluckydog

I completely understand what you mean. I had all the same feelings and two weeks out, I'm still having them. Although, there are long spans of time that I actually forget about it. If that is the case this early, I'm sure it will get even better.

Good luck, girl. We are here for you!!

Good luck tomorrow, and keep us posted! The head part is hard, but you'll learn as you go along just like the rest of us! -BG