Day 18 - AWOL

I went AWOL for a couple of days! Actually I wasn't good - I broke my smoking rule and smoked a couple of cigarettes but I'm back on the wagon today. That's all I can do.

I've spend the last 2 days playing in the pool and relaxing with my kids and my friend. I am burnt!!

I walked today with the kids on the Centennial Trail for just over 50 minutes. It wasn't fast (probably 2 - 2.5 MPH), but we did stray off the path and walk up a few steep slopes.

I'm getting nervous.

DH is scared, and angry and worried I think. He thinks I'm going to end up running off with some younger guy when I get healthy. I'm struggling with his fears right now. Don't know what to do or say that will help him feel better. I'm doing this for my health and even if he is scared and insecure about it, I'm not changing my mind. He says he supports me, but I can't see how - if he thinks this will lead to divorce....

UPDATE: 10 p.m. Walked half a mile at 3.5 for good measure since todays walk was slower with the kids. Feels good to have some energy back. Haven't smoked ALL day....

Husbands worry a lot - for reasons so different from women's worries -- honestly - sit him down and ask him 'why' he fears this? doesn't he think you have a strong marriage already? if he doesn't why not? It seems 'most' husbands worry about something going wrong in surgery rather than the 'after' part -- yes, some people DO change drastically and it affects their relationships -- but to fear divorce from surgery? he should be more worried about losing you at a young age due to co-morbidities...keep smiling girl - and stay on that bandwagon and off those ciggies lol

WOW you are on track and doing a great job. I'm proud of you. As for hubby, all you can do is keep loving him, he is a man....your man.