Not eating - Really bizarre problem!!
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Ok so this isn’t the type of issue most people on here complain about, but I’ve got a unique problem. I’ve lost pretty much all my desire to eat. Now- the psychological addiction to food is still quite real but it’s taken on a rather complicated appearance.
You see, it’s quite common that I find myself heading for Popeyes or KFC or some other equally fattening fast food restaurant. However, once I have the food in my hands, I begin to mull around unconsciously finding excuses not to sit down and eat. It’s a very expensive and pointless habit.
I went out to dinner with my family last night and spent the entire meal staring at my food, poking it with a fork and thinking, “I probably should eat some of it.” But after I take one or two bites, I lose interest and end up wasting pretty much the entire meal (we’re talking $10 or so). I DO take it home as leftovers- but it usually doesn’t get eaten.
I have good restriction, although I’ve not had a fill in over a year. But it’s not restriction that’s causing the problem- because I can tell internally that I’m not physically full. I’m just not interested. Some people would be like, “YAY!! THAT’S THE BEST PROBLEM IN THE WORLD TO HAVE!” and even four months ago I would have agreed. But I am at goal now – (I’ve lost 180 lbs) – and am trying to tone muscle – a task that becomes complicated when you aren’t giving your body the nutrients that it needs.
Also, because I AM still addicted to food, I find myself buying chocolate or ice cream or some other simple carb to make up for the lack of energy (more $$$ spent). The ONLY saving grace regarding that is, I am losing interest equally fast with sweet foods- so ice cream will sit in the freezer for months; cookies boxes sit on the counter until they expire. Cake… well that would be a waste and a half. I don’t really feel guilty for buying the candy and sugary foods- because I don’t end up eating them anyway – but I do recognize that this is an incredibly bizarre and unhealthy habit to get into.
I should point out that I have very severe ADHD. It went undiagnosed my entire life because I was so overweight, the disorder never presented its self in a physical manner (wasn’t hyper) but rather in my behavior, work output and attention span. But once I began losing weight and quite literally bouncing off the walls, my own mother suggested I see a doctor. So for the last year, I’ve been on Adderall. Adderall does impact the appetite in some people (not all people tho) and never really caused me too many problems before.
My goal from the beginning of this surgery was to be healthy and I know what I’m doing now is NOT healthy. I have been contemplating a very slight unfill – but part of me is afraid I’d begin gaining weight. I also know that Adderall isn’t helping this problem at all, but can’t go off of the meds because I do need them in order to function normally (although ‘normally’ is a relative term).
Oh- also, I exercise every evening after work. Exercise has a history of absolutely destroying my appetite, but because of my work schedule, it’s kind of the only free time I have.
I want to eat healthy – this means healthy type and amount of calories. Right now I fluctuate anywhere from 300 calories a day to 1200 – weekends tend to see around 300 or so… can’t seem to sit still long enough to eat breakfast or lunch. I am completely open to suggestions on what I can do about this.
:wink: <-- What is that?? (ADHD...)