Hi there. Just wanted to see if I could build a new home with some new (and hopefully old) friends. I do not wanna be 'homeless' anymore so here I am! This is gonna be a place for friends to meet (hopefully) and talk about anything & everything.

My name is Tracy and I live in Deer Park, Texas. I have been married for 6 years. I was banded in April '07. Got 4 pounds away from goal, quit smoking and gained 46-50 pounds back so I am on my journey again. This time as a non-smoker :w00t:

This is a life change and with it comes lifelong friends...wanna come along for the ride? :blushing:

Yep been a quiet room!

Christmas is gone at my house! Boxes, and totes carried to the garage, and will go to the shed when there is less snow and ice between here and there. Til then they are out of the way, and most of my stuff is back in its familiar spot. I lost a harness chain! I know that sounds like a stupid thing to lose, and be as upset as I am about it, but it is what it is.

This is a simple chain with a round ring on the end link. It used to attach the horse or oxen bridle or yoke to the harness, and it belonged to Rick's great grandpas team. I have it hanging on a narrow strip of wall between our bedroom door and the LR. I take it down and hang a string of snowmen there during the holidays. I have everything back up, but the chain is MIA. I unpacked totes, and searched them and repacked them (there went a lost couple of hours!!) and still have not located it. I know it is here, just where here has me lost and confused, and extremely agitated! I am normally fairly organized, and for something to just be gone makes me CRAZY!!!!

I have been bumming.....I am sad that Rick is gone, and they told him it looks like his 2 weeks will turn to 3. The kids have their own lives, and it seems the only friends I have who are not out and busy, are the ones more depressed than I am, that do not want to hear my problems (minor as they are!!) but want me to listen yet again to their laundry list of complaints!!! I sound so selfish saying that, but it is true!!! For some reason the reality of it hit last night, when one of them called and it dawned on me that the conversation was almost an exact re run of that a month ago!! LOL Except this time I got to hear how none of the kids or family paid any attention at Christmas to what she needed, or wanted, and instead got her generic gifts.......oh well, it DID make me sit up and pay attention not to whine at my kids!! LOL. Lessons in what NOT to do! LOL

While I was moving Christmas boxes, I missed Ricks call.....now it will be hours before he can call again, I think that is what has me cryin' in my beer. OK, it is diet Dr. Pepper, and I'm not really cryin' but it sounded good!

Marie and I were supposed to go see Avatar today, but her son is in town, and that is not something that happens real often, he hotshots things, so she is spending the day with him, which I would expect her to. We can hit the movie mid week, it would be much less crowded I'm sure. Anyone seen it?

Trying to decide whether to munch on something for lunch or hold out, have an early dinner and call it good!!

Will check in and see if any of you busy folk have been around later!!

Well, I did it. I got on the scale this morning. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I'm up 3 pounds. I was really thnking it was going to be at least ten. So this is where my starting point is for the new year.

Still tying to decide about joining WW this week. I really need to get back to eating healthy again. I'm sure that will help me get back to losing again. The gym that hubby and I belong to is having a winter weight loss challenge. $25.00 to join and after 50 days, the winner takes all. Looks like I'm gonna join that one. LOL.

It snowed again this morning. We will proabably wait till about noon before we go out and shovel again. We already have so much snow everywhere. And now they are calling for a big snow storm on Wed. Looks like I will have to get sis out tomoorw and take her to the store. Need to get her stocked up.

Kat, I to have lost something. I clear the piano off and put all my snowman on there. Well, we keep a real pretty blue lamp there that has a little night light in it. It helps keep light in the living room at night. So I took it down and now can not find where I have put that darn thing. It's not real small, I should be able to see it anywhere. Just can't figure out where that might be.

Hubby and I have been doing alot of that where you walk into a room and than you can't remember why you went in there. We must be oxygen deprived or something. Maybe the fireplace going 24 hours is taking a toll on our brains. I hate it because he laughs at me when I just stand there trying to remember what I'm there for.

I made a big crockpot full of chili yesterday. That will be what we are having again today.

My nephew has been gone for 2 weeks. He has been staying over at his brother's house feed the kitties while they are gone. So tonight he will be back here again. It's been a nice quiet 2 weeks and I'm not looking forward to him being here again. Sorry if that sounds awful. I just have had enough of the lying and attitude. So hubby and I have decided to tell him that he has 2 weeks to find a job or he needs to move back to his dad's and stepmoms. He's such a good kid but addiction has taken a toll on all of us. He needs to know that he doesn't get to just slide thru life. I wish it was that easy

I'll check in soon. Hope all of you survived your holidays.

Good Morning

Kat - hard time of year for Rick to be gone, snowy and cold so what do you do right? I hear exactally what you are saying about friends too.

Suzanne - chili sounds good. I'm to a point where one minute I can eat and the next I'm throwing up. I gained 1lb but I think that is lack of water, I realized yesterday I had not been drinking much of anything. Maybe I'll join WW to get back on track. I am frustrated at this point, I need to get focused. It is also hard in the morning, I can't eat and don't have time when working. Maybe I'll just take a protein shake with me in the morning, and have lunch at 11 and a snack on my way home at 3:30.

So, ya'll know the basic drama with my friend. Well I invited her to dinner new year eve as a break the ice thing, and she said she wasn't sure if she was up to it... then said she has health problems, and I said hope they fix quickly... and she came back with "who gives a f@#$" ... Well, they scared her to think had cancer, she doesn't but still has issues and having a hysterectomy. She has been mad at me for weeks because I don't have 24/7 to take care of her. So she gives this I am so sick pitty party and she has been out to dinner and drinking but too sick to function... So yesterday my mom went to help her shovel and she told her not to, and she might as well just kill herself. She is on progestrone, and her mom had serious mental health issues , I'm worried about her but at this point in my life, I don't have the emotional strength to deal with me, let alone take the abuse she feels she needs to give me. I feel really bad for her daughter, because if she is having these breakdowns with me, what is she doing to her daughter. I know when she was waiting to find out if she had cancer, she was walking around feeding the negative energy and her daughter was besides herself, almost in tears saying mom stop saying that!

It is just sad

Anyway, sorry that story was all over, but you get the basics of it.

I am going to get xmas cleaned up today, snowy and windy. Tonight going to go to my friends and hang in the garage with the guys while they work.

Oh my sister got the biggest looser cookbook, I'm going to have to check that out. But it is not the cooking that is the problem, it is the portion control, which includes eating too little

ttfn friends

Jenn, your friend sounds like my sister. It's all me and no one else. Never give a thought as to what she can do for you. Not that she could do alot for us but for example. She has a home health nurse that comes and hepls her around the apartment. Most of this stuff she can do herself, she just thinks it hurts to much to do it. So her nurse was a little under the weather last week, she calls my younger sis and has her come over and get 4 loads of laundry to do over her at my house. I don't mind but why can't she do her own. So I called her and asked if she was physically incapable of doing her own laundry. "Well, no. I just thought you guys wouldn't mind doing it for me". My way of thinking is this--While I do your laundry, why don't you shovel the snow out of my driveway so we can come over and get your laundry.

I would never say that to her but she is an, it's all me type of person.

We haven't told her what is going on with my lung yet. We are waiting to get all the reports in and to find out what my treatment will be. No sense in having her asking tons of questions right now when we don't know. It just takes alot out of me to not yell at her and tell her I have my own problems. Her clean underwear is not high on my list.

Sorry for the rant.

Suzanne

wow, I'm not alone with this! Same thing, I have my own issues right now and I just don't have the energy to fuel that fire. When do you go back to the dr?

I'm going to call the head dr I left a message for last week. I really need to talk to someone, it seems to be getting worse every day. I got up and cleaned up xmas mess and that took just about everything out of me. I was going to a freinds tonight and he cancelled. I have no desire to leave, shower, and if the kids were not here I wouldn't get out of bed. Cry if the wind blows the wrong way. every day i just shut down more and more and don't know what to do. I know she won't be able to help me but i just can't pick a name out of the book, so even a referral would be great.

Well, the nephew is back. So far ok. He did help clean the drive and brought in a load of wood. We had a long talk about him joining the Navy. Looks like he is going to do it. Big step for him.

You know for years Suzie, they had programs for young men, that they had the option of joining the service to avoid jail time on small charges----non violent charges usually. One of my oldest friends her DH of over 30 years, did that, joined the army to stay out of jail, for alcohol related issues. Turned him into a man! The ALL ME attitude we are all finding is taken away from them there!

Maybe we should send a bunch of people!!! LOL

I am on edge----I know I am----and that may be a lot of my problem. I have avoided talking about it, and basically hid from it in general, and it wasn't until your line you wanted to say to your sister, about having problems too--it clicked with me! I feel relieved that I can recognize what is behind some of my stress. I was beginning to wonder if I just invited their attitudes!

I called my DD to let her know I was taking Kinsey to the movie, and if she wanted to go fine, if not we would go without her!! While talking to her, my Dad called and invited us to lunch, after church. So in the end, DD, DGD and my folks and I went to Chinese food, and then us girls--Mom, me, DD, and DGD, 4 generations went to see Alvin and the Chipmuks!!!

There is a point in the movie where the chipettes meet the chipmunks, and are smitten, and they are batting eyelashes and wiggling their noses, and I look down at Kinsey, and she is grinning ear to ear, and wiggling her nose. It was priceless. She loved the movie!

Come home, talked to Rick for awhile, and now just vegging until my shows come on--new ones tonight!!! YAY!!

Heated up a bowl of black eyed peas and cornbread for dinner.

We haven't had any more snow, but the temps have not gone above freezing in days....high today was like 28 or so. Just yucky!

My niece spent NY in the hospital, having emergency surgery---she had an ectopic pregnancy. She had been told for years---I mean lots of years, like 20---that she could not get pregnant. Then this! She is heartbroken. She wanted a baby so badly. It destroyed her marriage, them trying so hard, and in the end she turned to a lot of drugs, and hard lifestyle, I have to wonder what this is going to do.

So do the kids go back to school tomorrow? I have none, here regularly to know if it is tomorrow or not.

I'll check in after my shows are over....FINALLY new TV!!!

I agree about joining the service. I had an Uncle that was a Judge and he gave a lot of the teens a choice of jail time or service. The few that I have talked to that joined the service said that they owed their lives to my Uncle for making them choose. I'm hoping that this will be his turning point but it also scares me that what is going on in this world right now that he will be shipped out. I realize that he could be sent but that he could also stay state side. It's just very scary.

A lot of times when I hear people go on and on about their problems, I just smile and think to myself that they wouldn't last a day in my shoes. But you know what? I may not last a day in their shoes. I know that I have a lot to deal with but I am also one of the luckiest people in the world. My life could be so much worse than what I deal with. Having 2 sisters that drain me could be worse. I could not have them or they could be even harder on me. I have a husband that would walk to the ends of the earth for me. I see daily on his face how much he loves me and is very proud of me. I just hope I never take advantage of that.

But when my older sis goes on and on about her problems and how great her kids are and so on and so on, I want to scream. You guys would have a fit if I told you all her kids do. We keep a lot from her because she mentally could not handle it. The only time I ever tell her that I'm sick is when I have a cold and she can hear it. It's just easier to handle her that way. Let her go on believing that life is ok.

We have not been over the freezing mark in at least a week. Last night on the news they said it might be at least 10 days before we get over 30. Some nights we will be in the minus degrees. And now we have another snow storm coming Wednesday. We shoveled twice today from the snow fall last night. This has been a hard winter. I don't ever remember it being this harsh. I know we have had the cold but this is a lot of snow to go with it.

Tomorrow I'm going to start trying real hard to tell myself "No". No more snackiing, no more licking the spoon, no more just a taste. It has got to stop. I need to get back to eating correctly and to drinking my water. The other day I realized that I was so far behind in my water intake. Probably why I'm having the bathrom problems again. I'm going to try to be a little harder on myself. I'm also going to try to watch my workouts better. Not slack so much on the machines. Give it a little more effort.

I'll check in tomorrow. I have a little bit of a busy day. Sis needs some attention. Have a good one.

It's a good thing the kids here are out of school today. It's only 7 degrees out right now and the high for today is going to be 13. YIKES.

Well HELLO friends !!!

We made it back from our trip yesterday evening and we have been unpacking and washing clothes and most of all relaxing since then. Until now that is...lol

My neighbor brought her kids bright and early this morning. They are asleep right now, that explains this post :blushing: The 3 year old is not on a normal schedule but she gets to start one today. :thumbup: I am about to wake her little booty up. Sounds stupid huh?...to wake a 3 year old up! She really needs to learn to go to sleep and wake at a decent hour and I know that it will help her mom out tremendously if I would do that!

I had a blast at my friends house. We had the bonfire (yes it rained some) and I took a pic of it and I can see my dads face in the fire. He passed away in 99. It comforted me to see him there with me. Tell me this pic isn't awesome!!!!

Have a great day and I will check back in if I have a minute!

Ok, is it just me or is there a face in that picture? Not sure if I was seeing things.

I'm with you 2!!! I never saw your Dad Tracy, but there is a face there---how impressive is that!!!

I am just doing nothing today......part of me wants to do something, the other part is fine with the laziness!!!

Actually my plan is to hit the used book store, but I am waiting for my DIL who was supposed to be here an hour ago----I do not wait well for people!!!!

I was writing on pics and organizing them yesterday and ran onto our pics from Gruene, and San Antonio. Was a fun trip. Think I will see about Rick and I doing the Riverwalk this summer...well this Spring to be exact, or next Fall.

Just checking in......it is cold here today too. Actually just feels like someone left the freezer door open.....for days on end! We have not been above freezing in many days---and we are due more snow on Wed. I am ready for Spring!!!!

See y'all in awhile.

Yep, he looks just like my dad! In my heart I know it was him there with me.

Kat-let me know when ya'll go to the riverwalk and maybe we can meet up with ya'll?!

I read what you posted and than looked at the pic and that was the first thing I saw, a mans face. Wow.

If the riverwalk is warm....I'm in.

Suzie, the Riverwalk is very warm! Yet it is really cool!! LOL

I had been before, many years ago, in another lifetime I lived in SA. But Rick has never been. It can be as expensive or as cheap as you want to make it! If you want to stroll, and see things, and even stop for a beer, it is affordable. It can also be REALLY expensive, with lots of high end shops etc.!!

I would love to meet up with you guys there! Or anywhere!

To get to SA from our farm is reasonable---gotta love the interstate! LOL So that is why I said Spring or Fall, that is when we go there!

I think our husbands would get along great, they all seem pretty down to earth! Rick has a great sense of humor, and would start out quiet, not knowing anyone, but he loosens up, and I know you would like him. I miss him so much it is unreal! Not sure why today has been so hard, but it has.

I got word through my parents, who saw old friends, that one of my oldest friends was in town for a week at Christmas, with her husband, DD, and DGD. I never even got a phone call. She said Happy New Year on FB, never even mentioning she had been here. I know she has family, and obligations, I am not asking that she spend hours with me. Just a phone call... In the conversation her MIL had with my Mom, she did say they (friend and her DH) spent a lot of time golfing. Well ya know what.....good for her. She wants to wrap herself up in no one but them, that works for me. I have worked to keep the friendship going, but no more. I called one time we were in Fort Worth for Rick's cousins transplant surgery, and she lives in a suburb in the DFW area, and she had company (his family again) and could not meet up with us. She has been in town before, and never called. I always made excuses for her, but for some reason 2010, has brought out in me, a need to do away with the excuses for friends! So enough is enough, and I had enough. I will respond ONLY if she is in touch with me DIRECTLY. Same with a bunch of people in my life!!!

Roads go 2 directions, phone lines work both ways. I know you guys get what I am saying....doncha???? LOL

Going all out for dinner....thinking tuna salad sandwich!!! LOL BBL