It's been 9 weeks since my surgery. I live in AZ & had my surgery done in Mexico with Dr Ortiz. I felt very good about my decision & didn't feel I needed to let everyone know about where I was having my surgery because they just wouldn't understand. I told everyone I was traveling to San Diego & having the surgery near there. (Which is the absolute truth!!!!)

3 weeks ago I told my in-laws that I had my surgery done in Mexico. (I only told them because my 9 yr. old daughter mentioned it briefly.) They didn't speak to me at all after that. Last night they came over to our house for a very "special" conversation. They proceeded to tell me that I was a liar & a very dishonest person for not telling them I had my surgery done in Mexico. They were here for over 2 hrs. going on & on about it. I have felt so upset over this. I have had very good results with this weight loss surgery & would just LOVE for someone to be proud of me for doing something for myself. Why do people have to be so mean & hateful?

This is my life & I am not required to tell ANYONE about my surgery, much less where I had it done. Why would my in-laws even get involved to the point that they have to come to my house & insult my integrity? I am a grown adult who can make decisions for myself.

I hate my in-laws!!!

If your MIL has a computer or access to one and knows how to use it, give her this web site and this thread "I hate my in-laws" and show her what everyone has said about her. Maybe she could see how much in the wrong she is if she would read what everyone here has to say about her. I don't know which is worse, telling you what she thinks to your face or her going directly to her "gossip machine" (phone) to tell everyone she knows what you've done wrong (in her opinion), like my MIL does, gossip is a way of living for her. Juicy news like that travels far and fast but when you loose 20, 50, or 100lbs. I'll betcha she doesn't tell anybody. Funny, how juicy or bad news travels fast but good news just sits there. Your hubby should definately have stood up for you.....shame on him.

I had my surgery in TJ too with Dr. Ortiz and the only ones that know about that is my DH who went with me and my daughter who still is in shock that I went to TJ to have it done but she knows to keep her comments to herself because I'm just ready to BLOW if any negative comments are made.

Good luck and hope things can be smoothed out because I know how uncomfortable things can be in a family when there is a division between family members.

Be proud and don't let the old biddy get you down!

Okay, it's me here again. I've read all the great, informative, supportive, funny & entertaining posts. I'm still laughing that Greg actually sent his MIL a cemetary plot!!

To answer some of the questions: No, they didn't pay for any of the surgery. I paid for it myself in cash. Yes, we have 3 children which whom they love & adore. YES, they are crazy. NO, my DH & his parents do not have a very good relationship. We pretty much go around them for the sake of the kids. These are their only grandkids & I wouldn't want to hold my kids back from getting to know their grandpa & grandma.

My parents also know of the surgery being done in MX & were absolutely fine with it. No problems!!

I just finished sending my in-laws an e-mail that wasn't very nice. (This so soooo unlike me.) I got out all my feelings & was very hurtful - I'm sure of it. I told them I would be okay if I never spoke to them again in my life. After reading what "giveyouthemoon" wrote, I am feeling very bad about writing the letter. I'm sure they were concerned, but they sure have a funny way of showing it!! I think I'll let the air clear for awhile & see how it all goes.

Just a warning for those of you who plan on going to MX. If I were to do it again, I wouldn't tell a soul. I don't regret going to MX AT ALL!! I only regret telling people about it. Ugh.....

I can understand the crazy inlaw thing. I have been very open and honest about my surgery except with them. I dont feel it is their business. They are my husbands parents, not mine. I have no quams about not divulging information to them that I do not care to divulge. I find them to be very judgmental people and I do not care to be judged by them unless I get to do my own judging back out loud (that will never happen) so I just am selective with my information as far as they are concerned. Some conversations just cannot be won so you need to just let it be, water under the bridge. If it comes up by them again, just be nice and say you do not wish to discuss this with them if they feel the need to lecture you and belittle you, end of story. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and say, you crossed the line.

Diane,

Even if the reason for their reaction is that they worry about you, that doesn't mean it's okay to berate you about a decision that you made as part of your adult life. You are smart, you did research, you made an educated decision. It's not as if you heard about it one day and hopped a plane to find Juan in a back alley with some Tequila and a knife, you know?

After they have cooled down from your email (if they do, whatever happens), if they want to discuss it further, tell them that they have to shut up and listen to why you decided to do it that way. Show them pictures of the facilities down there. Print out posts from here where many of us say we were happy in Mexico.

Inlaws or not, nobody has the right to make you feel that way, no matter what the deep seeded reason for their feelings are (like worry, etc).

If your MIL has a computer or access to one and knows how to use it, give her this web site and this thread "I hate my in-laws" !

OH MY LORD! THAT one had me ROFLOL!!!

I agree with Kare.... just refuse to talk about it with them. It is none of their business. Keep a possitive outlook and remember that you did this for YOU not anyone else.