Did anyone decide on getting banded because they just couldn't stand the loneliness anymore? Being fat brings about such isolation.

I'm so sorry you're lonely! But honestly, losing weight may not fix things for you; some therapy may help. I AM more active as I lose more weight, but I had friends and a social life at 405 too. A good therapist may help you come out of your shell a little? Good luck to you, whatever you choose!

Being lonely is so much more than not having a social life. You could be around people all day, be married, have children, or an amazing group of friends. And still be very lonely. I think loneliness is a symptom of bigger things- things like poor self-esteem, feeling extra shy, or possibly depression. Do I think this surgery will help me feel less lonely- sure do- but I think it will be because I feel better about myself and will be more willing to initiate contact with others and put myself out there. Feeling lonely is very tough.

I agree with restless monkey, weight loss by itself is not going to solve lonliness, or feelings of solitude, one of the most social and well adjusted people I know weighs around 400lbs, so the isolation you are feeling is likey the a sign of a bigger issue than just weight by itself. Talk to a good therapist and they will be able to help you pinpoint the areas you need to work on as you lose for you to be well rounded and happy at the end of your journey.

Yes I would never make light of anyone's sadness, and I think that there are issues that our weight may make worse (some medical, some emotional!) So that's why I suggested therapy...because not all fat people are lonely, so it can't be just a condition of being overweight. And how sad to have the surgery just to "fix" loneliness and it not work!

Well, my banding reasons have more to do with other things besides loneliness. Loneliness was just something I was feeling last night and on other occassions as well. Possibly PMS? I don't know. I just wanted to post the question. I have other reasons such as wanting to be healthy and live long enough to see my girls get married, grandchildren and what not. To go on vacation and not be in physical pain.

I have friends, family, a spouse and go to work everyday. Yet I feel lonely because I am trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me. I feel trapped. There are so many things I would love to do but my weight physically stops me. Not living life to the fullest certainly makes ME feel lonely. And yes, I do shy away from new people because we live in a society where fat people are looked down upon. Maybe I should have elaborated more.

I'm not really isolated because I do have a great family and I have friends but I do get lonely in the sense that I don't have a husband or children to share my life with. Alot of it is my fault because I don't have the self confidence to talk to men. I'm hoping that will change as I get thinner and get over my body issues. If not I see therapy in my future.

Every person on earth is different. We are unique creatures...but I still think maybe some therapy would help you; what you describe sounds to me like depression. Not the blues, but something that is ongoing with you? I am not a psychologist and I don't even play one on TV so forgive me if I am intruding. I do hate to see people in pain (mental or physical) when they don't have to be. If you had a headache I'd offer aspirin or tylenol; since your psyche seems to hurt, I can only offer therapy. Don't be so quick to dismiss it, or to think that losing weight will solve every problem. It won't. That thinking is dangerous and will set anyone up for a big disappointment. Sometimes getting out of a prison requires more than opening the door.

I hope you will think/pray/meditate/ruminate or whatever on maybe getting a little professional help, maybe an anti-depressant? A talk with your doc would be a place to start. Good luck to you, whatever you decide!

I want the lapband because I feel heavy. I feel like I can't do anything active/physical. I want to be able to breathe normally. I want my feet not to hurt all the time. I want to be able to fit in normal clothes.

But I don't think being fat makes me lonely. Maybe in the back of my mind, but it's not present and doesn't make me sad or anything.

I had a lot of reasons, but one that comes to mind was that I was reaching the upper limit in “normal” clothes sizes. This was more true in shirts than pants. I was up to a size XXXL in shirts and 44 in pants. There are some XXXL shirts on the rack, but a very limited selection. I couldn’t bring myself to go to the Big-n-Tall store.