Hi, I read your post in Alexandra's thread and just wanted to ask you some questions. I want to thank you for your post because I think it speaks to the core issues here. I have tried in the past to apply the principles you describe (Only eat when you're hungry, etc. . .) but found it impossibly difficult. Maybe when I get proper restriction it will be easier. I'm in therapy and hope that I can afford it long enough for it to do some good. In the meantime, my question is how do you apply the principles you describe and also adhere to the "bandster rules" I learned about on the other board (Protein first, then veggies, etc.). Or do you not use those rules? My surgeon has given me no guidance on eating and I didn't even get a handout from Inamed that I hear is available. Thanks.

Nancy

Hi Nancy -

This is long and rambling, so be forewarned! I find it hard to talk about the program without explaining the steps I went through, so hopefully I will at some point have answered your question... :cool:

Is your therapy specifically for eating disorders? The really great thing about my therapy was that it was very structured, with exercises I had to do each week. The exercises gleaned all of their content from me, so it was very individualized.

The principles of eating only in response to physical hunger, stopping when you are full, and honoring your cravings is not in opposition to the "bandster rules."

We all know what good nutrition is - most of us have been reading about it and studying labels most of our lives. One of the emotional hurdles I had to overcome was balancing in my mind the permission to eat what I craved vs eating healthy, nutritious foods. I struggled with what that meant for a long time. I felt that if it were REALLY okay to eat cake morning, noon and night, that I would! lol

The exercises helped me clarify to myself that although I may crave and have less nutritious foods on occasion, the reality was that once I had permission to do so, and believed myself when I swore that nothing was off limits, I found that I chose healthier foods for the most part - now that I don't HAVE too... lol

To prove to myself that I meant what I said, I bought a chocolate cake (obviously one of my food obsessions - lol). My head screamed for it the moment I walked through the door, even though I was not physically hungry. So I cut myself a piece, and ate it. My head screamed for another piece (I was stuffed!), and I tried to talk myself down, but all my head could say was "You PROMISED!!! You PROMISED!!!" (Sheezsh, you guys are going to think I'm totally whacked, but I was actually having these conversations/arguments with myself! ) Anyway, long story short, the cake lost its power over me before I could eat it all, because I found I really didn't want it for Breakfast, lunch and dinner. I didn't even really want it everyday. And because I COULD have it whenever I wanted - today, tomorrow, next week, next year - I gradually lost that subconscious fear that I would have to say "goodbye" to cake again someday for some hellish period of time. I rarely have cake - but that's because I honestly don't want it, not because I can't, or "shouldn't" have it. That's how it's worked for all my trigger foods - cake, pizza, fried chicken, and chocolate. I indulge mostly in chocolate and pizza when I have cravings now, but even those make relatively rare appearances on my plate anymore. I actually prefer roasted chicken now - my favorite thing is the crispy skin.

The band has helped even more with my struggle. I might be indulging in my trigger foods more often if I weren't banded, because frankly, the band makes eating less fun. Eating cake isn't that comfortable - a whole piece, anyway - and I am a comfort loving creature. So the band has added a bit of aversion therapy to the work I had already done emotionally. It has given me the necessary physical reinforcement I need to slow down my eating, which gives me time to reflect on what I'm eating, and why.

Getting proper restriction will definitely help you. Working on the emotional aspects of your eating, though, is invaluable, and will make everything easier for you in the end. Concentrate more on getting in touch with yourself and learn why you eat what you eat - don't worry so much about the scale. I highly recommend that you do the exercise I posted under the Support section about managing emotional hunger. It is not enough to read these things - you really do have to DO an exercise for it to help you.

Good luck, and remember this is a lifelong journey, not a six month diet.

Thank you so much for your reply. I knew when I started this that there would be a lot of head work that went along with this and I am willing to do it.

Nancy

I am in the process of reading "Overcoming Overeating" to try to help me with these issues. Thanks Donali for your wonderful posts.

thankyou donali, Your insight and experiences are so helpful, and amusing!

Jadrad7,

I see we are starting at the same weight. That was what I weighed the day of surgery. I also see that you are from PA. May I ask where you had your surgery done? I have a girlfriend in Delaware and she is looking into this surgery. The surgeons by her seem to do mostly Bypass. Thanks