How many have overweight or obese kids too?

I never know which is the best way to tackle this problem. My kids arent fat but my oldest son most definitely has a lot of potential to be. He's pretty lazy and he loves to eat. I've found at time when I've been rock bottom and just not motivated in any way to look after myself properly then my kids' diets suffer too.

Over the past year I've made the utmost effort to feed my kids well, as a family we eat really well. I'm quite strict with what they're only allowed to eat on a very infrequent basis, takeaway, lollies etc. We never have biscuits or cakes in the house, but they do like their school lunch orders and the school offers only rubbish, they do eat chips for their morning tea, overall I think they have a good balance between getting everything they need and still having the stuff other kids get.

They play lots of sports too.

But on the other had at 10 and 8 both boys know the concept of dieting, they like to weigh themselves, they compare their weight to others. Last night when we all went swimming and Doug and I took a turn each to mind the kids for 40 mins while the other did some laps, both boys did laps in the big pool saying "I'm going to get skinny too" rather than play in the smaller pools with their sister.

Is it even possible to raise healthy well adjusted kids with NO weight issues and NO tendency to connect weight with self worth. Can they grow up without the concept of "good" and "bad" foods? Are we raising our children even from toddlerhood to have food and weight issues?

I think Loopylou hit it on the head. Her brother is thin because he was not "controlled" by food.

When I think of what my mother could have done to help me this is my list.

#1 Never tell me I need a diet.

This tells a child that they ARE fat and so they will behave like a fat person. If I had a child that I thought was getting out of control with eating, I would NEVER tell them I knew it.

When they ask for food they "shouldn't" have, I would say "You can have some a little later". Chances are, they will go off and play and forget the craving and by saying "yes" you have not made them feel controlled or punished. You have postponed their craving and cravings go away if you're not concerned it's your last chance to have it.

Don't control with food. Many times when people say that I can't have something, it makes me obsess about it and sneak it so that I prove that they have no control over me.

#2 Don't ever tell your kids they have the chance of getting fat. Skinny people never considered they'd ever be fat. Don't we all remember when the first time was somebody told us we were fat and we believed them! I do, and I lived up to the belief. I look at the pics and think, "I was not fat then". Sad that I believed it.

The best thing my Mother could have done was put me on a diet w/out me knowing it.

Exercised w/out me knowing it was a weight thing.

My mother was a granola girl who grew all her own veggies and fruit and we rarely had sugar in our home. We had very healthy diets. I got fat on peanutbutter and honey mixed : ) I ate a lot of it.

I think Loopylou hit it on the head. Her brother is thin because he was not "controlled" with food.

When I think of kids (me) & food these are my thoughts:

#1 Never tell kids that they need a diet or that they can't have something because it'll make them fatter.

This tells a child that they ARE fat and so they will behave like a fat person. If I had a child that I thought was getting out of control with eating, I would NEVER tell them I knew it. I'd try and make food a non issue. Help them forget about it by not talking about it.

When they ask for food they "shouldn't" have, I would/do say "Yes you can have some a little later". It's so much nicer than "no" eventhough you mean "no". Chances are, they will go off and play and forget the craving and by saying "yes, but later" you have not made them feel controlled or punished. You have postponed their craving and cravings go away if you're not concerned it's your last chance to have it.

Don't control with food. Many times when people say that I can't have something, it makes me obsess about it and sneak it so that I prove that they have no control over me.

#2 Don't ever tell your kids they have the chance of getting fat. Skinny people never considered they'd ever be fat. Don't we all remember when the first time was somebody told us we were fat and we believed them! I do, and I lived up to the belief once it was put in my head. I look at the pics and think, "I was not fat then". Sad that I believed it.

The best thing my Mother could have done was put me on a diet w/out me knowing it.

Exercised w/out me knowing it was a weight thing.

She could have kept my day too busy for over eating.

My mother was a granola girl who grew all her own veggies and fruit and we rarely had sugar in our home. She never deep fried anything and we never ate out. We had very healthy diets. I got fat on peanutbutter and honey mixed : ) I ate a lot of it.

I got fat on lots of healthy foods. I was just compulsive and self destructive.

I went on so many diets as a teen. Finally, when I was 21 I decided I would never "diet" again. I knew one thing, skinny people don't diet. I told myself I could have whatever I wanted, but like a skinny person, I'd only eat a little bit because that's all I wanted. I brain washed myself into believing I weighed 5lbs less, 5lbs less. 5lbs less. Until finally I was at 125 and I said over and over "I weigh 125." until that was the number that stuck in my head. I also stayed very busy working. I was able to stay thin for 6yrs until I got married....

My husband unknowingly made a grave mistake after just a few weeks of marriage by telling me I'd get fat if I ate what I was eating. He watched what I ate and I couldn't deal with that. He didn't mean to, he is a very nice person. He just had no clue that he'd married a food phsyco that needed to be free of any outside control when it came to food. A skinny person would have heard those same things and not believed them, why did I fall back into obsession?