According to statistics, I am the perfect Bandster. Stats show that the Band will help you lose 1/2 of your extra weight, which is exactly what I did. I made it down to 243 at one point, but now I'm staying right around 250 no matter what I do. I've watched "normal" people, and I'm eating like a normal person but maintaining at 250.

I've been eating really well lately, but the numbers don't go down. I'm convinced that Mother Nature and the Angels and the Earth and the Powers that be want me to weigh 250, because life shouldn't be any harder than it already is. Sure, I could measure 2 ounces of tuna on a celery stalk and lose more weight, but for today I am a beautiful, plus-size 250 pound gal that eats much slower, much smaller, and much healthier than I have for a decade.

I've maintained an approximate 65 (SIXTY-FIVE) whopping pounds of fat loss. That's incredible. Just for today, I accept who I am. Most of you will think that 250 is way too heavy, but let's remember that I'm a giant at 5'10" tall, so 250 to me is like 200 to you.

Would anyone like to ride along with me on the Acceptance Train?

With all of you 5'10" women around, I'm feeling kinda stumpy at 5'9"! Well, DeLarla, once again you've said what I've (sort of) been thinking. I'm hanging around 198-202 lbs., and while I'd like to lose more, I can't help but look back on where I was a year ago and shouting Hallelujah! Sixty-five pounds gone! My current thinking? If I'm going to stay this size forever, that's OK. I'm actually ahead of the curve -- I needed to lose about 100 lbs., and I'm about 2/3 there. When I can get past my ice-cream jones I'll lose more weight.

I am not burning my bras. I injure my feet enough as it is.

Maintaining a 65 poound weight loss like you have says lots. You are a beautiful, smart and caring person; you should be very happy with who you are. You have been successful; don't make any mistake about it 65 pounds is success! I am very proud of you.

I am totally echoing Sarah's situation (Marimu). I have been at a nice solid plateau for what seems like all summer but ONCE IN AWHILE I'll go weigh and see a couple of pound drop. I don't take it personally when the scale stays the same nor do I beat myself up about it. I also feel I am probably eating to maintain rather than eating to lose... Though early in band life it seemed like I could eat anything and still lose... Not sure how that all works. Lisa, like you I'm just amazed at how far I have come. Unlike you though I was unlucky enough to be born into a family full of tall giants while I myself only grew to a whopping 5'4". Sad but true... Anyway we will all keep plugging along and do just fine. I went into this with the long term in mind and know most people with a substantial amount of weight to lose take 3 years or so before they accomplish it. I'm only barely on 15 months and have lost about 1/2 my extra weight. Best wishes and big hugs. Teresa

Honey - I have seen your pics and you are SO pretty!!!!!!!

"How my (overweight) Astral Body continues to interfere with my scale readout"...

That is SO funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DeLarla-

You are confident and beautiful and have been angel to many on this board.

65 lbs. is fabulous!

Good for you. Thanks for all your great posts.

Jack, I have no idea what you just said but I'm busting up over here. I was physically hungry after dinner, so I just ate 1 1/2 Cookies of the very evil Otis Spunkmeyer variety. That's what I consider "normal." If I can go the rest of the night with no food, then I'll just go ahead and weigh 250!

Life shouldn't be such a struggle, plain and simple. I'm so thankful for all the encouragement and compliments here. Losing that weight has changed my life. I'm going to start a new thread about things people have accomplished since banding... meet me there, okay?

Thanks everyone for the nicest words.

Love, the Giant.

Ah yes....loving me just like I is.....tough one for me. REAL tough. As I've already confessed on these boards, I was a terrible bulimic for about 10 years. The very epitome of self hatred and not just about my body.

So I worked my ASS off and recovered from that evil snakelike disease. I am strong, I am powerful. I beat a real bad addiction.

But still, as hard as I work on "I'm okay in this body" for every one day of being okay with that, I have several where the demons whisper in my ear "you're ugly, no one will ever love you again looking like that, no man will ever pay attention to you". And so sometimes I succumb and sink down into the murky tar misery. But then my toes scrape bottom again....and I tread my way up to the surface of the muck. And I drag myself back out, clean up and try again.

I'm a survivor, make no mistake about it. And I'm going to keep fighting.

I was feeling so great, got some lbs off after surgery, but now it's screetched to a halt. And the demons start to play. Tonight I'm working on shouting them down, reminding them they don't belong.

Give me strength, some days I get weary about this fight. But there is no other answer, I must battle on.

You ARE an inspiration Delarla and I'm personally grateful to you for being so candid about your experiences. I saw your hole in the belly thread like one week before I got banded. It didn't scare me off...it actually emboldened me. When I spin out with worry, I have to ask myself..."What's the worst that can happen?" Well, your case is pretty close....and you STILL survived and FLOURISH today, and that brought me peace. I know it's odd to say your horrific experience brought me peace, but it did.

Marimaru,

I think you just put into words what has been going on with me this month. I am eating to maintain...not lose. Thats why the scales havent moved. I am so much happier even after losing only 35 pds. Its 35 I wouldnt have lost plus probably another 35 if I didnt have the band. I am healthier and more active than I have been in yrs.

Thanks for starting this DeLarla...its definately an eye opening post!

I've been thinking the very same thing!

I know & have a bit to go - but I also know that i'm feeling ok with the way I look - like others have said - my head is finally catching up with my body. I'm feeling that as long as I maintain & don't gain more than a few pounds before losing them again, i', going to be happy.

Never mind all this BMI 25 rubbish! a healthier happier me will do!!

Great post !

Aud x

Not quite ready - Im 5ft 10 and 245 and I"m thinking about the band - I absolutely dont feel good at this current weight, which is far and away the highest I have ever been.

But I get where you're coming from. If I felt in control and like I was going to stay here and not keep getting fatter then I could accept that perhaps its just how I want to be. But every medical professional I see for every other reason tells me I'm seriously overweight and need to lose it pronto.

I think you are amazing. I also enjoy your posts, I either end up laughing so hard my DH thinks I am crazy or you will get my mind going. While I am only 7 weeks into my band, I am not ready to jump on with you but wanted to let you know that I think your weght loss is amazing. Not having a port meaning no fill that is just amazing. I am whimpy...I am going for my first fill tuesday and I just can't imagine how you have done it. Otis cookies or not you are doing great. You are a true inspiration to all of us!!!!

I am not burning my bras. I injure my feet enough as it is.

ROFLMFAO !!! Yeah my girls are tired of watching my feet too :nervous

Jack: FYI, a stone is 14 lbs.

I think we all need to accept ourselfs, no matter if we are still trying to lose that weight or not. we are ALL beautiful inside and out. and I see we all know how to laugh too.. You all are a great bunch!!!

I deffinatly second your vote Trish!!! We are all beautiful people! we always have been~ and we always will be no matter what size we are!!!! ((((((HUGS TO ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE))))))))))))))))