Currently I am a fulltime college student and a caregiver in the evenings.

The lady I care for is very sweet and fairly easy to care for her. She is in 1st & somedays 2nd stage alzheimers.

My worry is this..

Her daughter is quite the handful in this situation.

I am very devoted to this family and try to be a very positive support to them.

The daughter is very judgemental and critical.. very political..

My surgery is scheduled Feb 3rd and I have yet to peep a word about it to this woman. (my boss)

My husband is disabled and I mentioned him getting the surgery and she balked..

Unfortunately, she just has a hard time understanding certain things and also tends to be very controling.

She was brought up very wealthy and frugal.. and she does not work.. and she feels that a person can just lose wieght .. and has certain old fashion ideas about weight loss.. and quite honestly alot of ignorance..

Im very nervous about letting her know that im going to have the surgery.

Of course I will need to schedule a few nights off.. and thats within our arrangement.. although our current scheduling is very spontaneous to say the least..

Anyone have any thought or suggestion you would like to share? I am happy to listen...

I need to do this.. however im nervous about the reactions of this woman...

I will say with confidence that this woman does need me..

I can say with confidence that im not an easy replacement.

She hasnt had any hassles with me whatsoever.. and I have been able to help her at any given moment..

Can I be replaced.. Sure ....

Im just worried she just will not understand... and ultimately it could be possible that by having this done i would be putting my job at risk.. only becaue she lacks understanding and is very opionated.. judgemental.. ect..

Thanks for any input..

I would be more than happy to answer any addtional questions..

Hugs~

Tell her you have to have your gallbladder removed or a hiatal hernia repaired. It's none of her business.

Based on what you said, she will judge you and different people have strange reactions to it.

Tell her you are going on the (you fill in the blank) diet, if and when you want to explain weight loss. Otherwise, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Best of luck to you!

Tell her you have to have your gallbladder removed or a hiatal hernia repaired. It's none of her business.

I agree completely. It is really not any of her business as to the specific reason and both gallbladder and hiatal hernia are good explanations for abdominal surgery. Also, since the hiatal hernia affects your stomach it can also be an explanation for a "soft" diet.

After a month or two pass and she starts noticing weight loss, you can tell her the truth in that you are eating less, cutting out the carbs and getting exercise. The band doesn't have to have anything to do with it.

OMG - Heather ONE pound to goal!?! WAY TO GO!!!! I've been stalled since before Christmas, ugh!

Absolutly. She really has no business knowing about what surgery you have. It won't affect your work or ability to work.

The band is a tool in weight loss, she no more needs to know that you have a band than she would need to know if you used a treadmill, aerobic, yoga, etc.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and out of ignorance people judge and do or say things hurtfull. You are doing something very positive for your HEALTH. Keep the negative stuff away

*HUGS*

If necessary, tell her you are having "abdominal" surgery. That's what my surgeon put in the letter I got just in case my school (I'm a student) needed it. It's vague, so if later you DO need your gallbladder removed or whatever, you won't be caught in a lie. AND

abdominal surgery is the truth, just not the whole truth.

By the way if you have to lift her at all you may have problems...most of us have a lifting restriction.

To add to what restlessmonkey said, you can always tell her you've been having stomach pain and they're doing an exploratory laparotomy to find out what may be causing it.

You don't have to give specific information if you don't want to. Tell her something vague like the other posters suggested.