I had a doctor's appt yesterday to get some of my pre-requirements done. I had an EKG and it showed a small problem with one of the readings. I don't know more than that. She doctor was going to let it go until I told her my father had a heart attack when he was 40. Now I'm scheduled for a stress test early Jan and she wouldn't give me a referral for the nutrition appt I need. I'm going to try to get her to refer me after the 1st of the year. There is nothing wrong with getting these requirements done, right. I just hope this stress test turns out ok. I have high cholesterol and I can't take any medications right now because I am breastfeedin my son. He turns 1 in 3 weeks and I'm already gradually weaning but can't take the medications until he is totally weaned.

I'm scared. I brought this on myself. Not only with my weight, but all the cr*p I've eaten over the years. When I was working I used to go out to eat for lunch almost every day. Of course, I ate all the bad stuff.

I really want this surgery. I want it for myself and my son. I know I have to change my habits. But not feeling like you are starving must certainly help a ton. I think that is my biggest hurdle to weight loss. It's not that I dont' like healthy foods, I hate the empty feeling of in my stomach when I'm hungry.

Now I feel I can't lose weight because I am just at 100 lbs overweight and I can't not lost weight if I have caused heart disease.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Don't get down on yourself...that wont make matters any better. We will all keep our fingers crossed that your stress test comes out OK and that your heart is healthy enough for the surgery. Then you can lose the weight and make your heart and the rest of you healthier. Till then stay strong, take care of yourself and enjoy your holidays with your precious little one.

...Let me know how the stress test turns out.