Hello:

Just a quick note to let you know that John and I made it through our first session. We discussed how his relationship with the other woman affected me and our relationship. The counselor was good in that she didn't take sides one way or the other. She did point out to John that our trust was broken by his relationship with this person. We are going to do separate counseling sessions starting next week then come together as a couple to work together. So I go on Monday and then John goes on Tuesday of next week. We did not get too deep into our issues as there was not enough time, but the counselor wanted to meet with us individually first and then meet as a couple. She feels and so do we that there are issues to look at individually first before the couple things can be attacked. She stated that this approach was a "quick fast track" to getting to the core issues. I have to agree with her on that.

John and I both have "baggage" in our lives that are affected our relationship. IF we can get through those then we should be able to face whatever comes in our lives together as a couple.

This counselor so far is a good choice. She listened and allowed us to vent as much as we needed. She was open to anything we had to say and she offered her input when appropriate. She pointed out some things to John and then to me about the other woman issue that made perfect sense to us both. I am feeling MUCH better about our relationship now than I have in a long long time.

Our relationship over the past week has been like we started anew and fresh again. More loving and caring and sharing than we have done in ages. Still some issues to work through but I think we are finally doing that. SIGH!!

THanks for all your support and your ear to lean on through this.

HUGS and love you

Good luck Penni everything will go good for you because your a good hearted person!!

Good luck Penni everything will go good for you because your a good hearted person!!

Esmeralda this statement made me think of that Tammy Wynnette song I think it was hers.

"You're a good hearted woman, in love with a two timing man!" Remember that song or am I showing my age. LOL!!!

Anyway, thanks guys. Counseling is the good first step to fixing anything that is wrong in a relationship. Estela my grandmother used to tell me the same thing that we give up too easily. I stuck with my 11 year marriage 5 years longer than I should have because I didn't want to give up. He cheated on me with my best friend. So some of this is coming up in the counseling. John is so supportive and is wanting to work through all this. He said that it kills him with tears in his eyes to see me so HURT by all this. AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

I just love this man and I am gonna fight for this relationship and it appears he is too.

I really know how hard a break up is I just went through one last week, but hey I am a true believer that "Everything happens for a reason". I was with him for 2 years and it wasnt working out, he said that I expected to much from him, oh and also he wanted kids and I already had 2 and I don't want any more!!

Good luck Penni!!

Thanks for your phone number I will be giving you a call!

Anyway, thanks guys. Counseling is the good first step to fixing anything that is wrong in a relationship. Estela my grandmother used to tell me the same thing that we give up too easily. I stuck with my 11 year marriage 5 years longer than I should have because I didn't want to give up. He cheated on me with my best friend. So some of this is coming up in the counseling. John is so supportive and is wanting to work through all this. He said that it kills him with tears in his eyes to see me so HURT by all this. AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

This is interesting that you said this…My ex-husband would never trust me, "without trust I have nothing" I would tell him and the marriage counselor. He stated he was cheated on by his first wife and how could he ever trust again. I didn't want to admit I made a mistake marring him…than I just couldn't take all the accusations anymore, I didn't do anything with anybody (this was just my situation) but it's hard when it happens twice....

Another thing that marriage counselor would say is that we have to argue. I hate to argue, can't stand it even now. Billy and I talk allot but I refuse to argue.

We all have baggage…from childhood even. I tell myself get over it, move on. Crap and get off the pot!

I'll be the first person to admit I'm not the easiest person to live with.

Finding oneself is hard enough to do…Please think of yourself as #1

Good luck to both of you

Love and Hugs

Penni,

Thanks for the update and I'm glad things are getting brought out in the open with the counselor. Hopefully that is just exactly what you guys needed to make your lives together work. Best wishes, Teresa

Penni....I am so happy that there now seems to be a renewed life and sense of hope in your relationship. That is so wonderful. I truly believe in the power of counseling and of having an impartial, objective third party to help you through things. My husband and I have had rocky times more than once in our 2 1/2 year marriage, but we love each other too much to throw it away. I wish you and John all the best.