So, here is the weird part about my own self image. I've always tended to "see" myself as being no different from my friends when I would be walking with them. Even when I was at my heaviest, nearly 380, in my head when we were walking or hanging out, I thought we were the same. Even though I knew mentally that it was not true.

Then, I would see a reflection and reality would come into play for at least a little while.

Now that I am closing in on 130 lbs lost, I feel as if I am still that big fat guy everyone saw before when they saw me with my friends.

I know this can turn into a disorder, and I also know I am nowhere close to that yet. I just find it interesting that as the pounds come off, my self image in my head seems to be on the fritz.

Ceradad, you aren't alone. I, too, am working through self image issues. Feel like I'm still lots heavier, etc. Then when I catch myself walking by a window I'm startled to see how much weight I have lost. There are other threads existing dealing with this that are helpful you should check them out.

I understand where you are coming from. For a long time I "avoided" how heavy I really was. I just didn't want to see it and so I didnt think about it and just thought of myself as similar, for the most part to everyone else.

The decision to have surgery forced me to really see myself. It was the ultimate reality check. Once I accepted what I had become and what I needed to do to correct it, there was no such thing as hiding from myself.

Now that I am on the road to being normal, it is strange to see how things are changing. It takes time to get used to the new you, but it is definitely worth it. I still find myself picking up clothes thinking there is no way they would fit me, but they do.

I think our minds will adjust for the most part as we continue though our journey.

One more thing I want to add . . . I have been most surprised by my legs lately. This might sound strange, but when I am riding a bike, my thighs look so long as I peddle. The shapes have also changed from triangles to rectangles. These can't be my legs, can they????

Self awareness, self image keeps readjusting itself in strange ways for me. It is like I am rediscovering parts of myself but I can't quite come to terms with the whole as of yet. It has been interesting to say the least . . . .

I also have never "seen" myself as fat...but then would catch my reflection in a shop window and be shocked by it. I mean, I know I'm fat, hate being fat, but still perceive myself, somehow as normal.

I am now down about 32 lbs., and of course this warped self-image I hold doesn't change. This weekend I was walking down Broadway in NYC, and saw a reflection of myself in a window -- and was even more shocked than ever to see how fat I am. That's when it hit me of how fat I must have been, still am, and still will be for quite some time.

I look forward to the day when my warped self-image will finally be in sync with reality!

So, here is the weird part about my own self image. I've always tended to "see" myself as being no different from my friends when I would be walking with them. Even when I was at my heaviest, nearly 380, in my head when we were walking or hanging out, I thought we were the same. Even though I knew mentally that it was not true.

Then, I would see a reflection and reality would come into play for at least a little while.

Now that I am closing in on 130 lbs lost, I feel as if I am still that big fat guy everyone saw before when they saw me with my friends.

I know this can turn into a disorder, and I also know I am nowhere close to that yet. I just find it interesting that as the pounds come off, my self image in my head seems to be on the fritz.

Ceradad, I can completely relate to what you say. I have often said I think I have reverse anorexia (I think I am smaller than I really am). It is interesting because the more we get off the more our insecurities come to the surface. I think that may be a reason why we became fat in the first place. Just focus on the positive and when you feel that negative side coming out let it go. I find that writing my feelings down on paper and then tearing the paper up helps. Good luck!

Florida girl, I have the same issue.. at almost 300 lbs I remember looking in the mirror saying "damn you're hot!" and I would squeeze through cars thinking I could fit.. and my butt would scrape and I wouldn't understand why. HA HA. Back when I was 220 I had HUGE confidence and it would irritate my parents because they couldn't understand how a "fat" person could be so happy and content and flirt with guys and stuff.. well heck because when I looked in the mirror I thought I was a supermodel or something. LOL. I hope I can keep this feeling becuase my husband says he's glad I have that confidence ( I met him at 242lbs). Of course, we all have our fat days where we feel unattractive, but for the most part, I feel normal sized.