Hi Everyone,

My name is Gloria. I have only had sex with two men. My first husband to whom I was married to for 26 yrs and my new husband to whom I have been married to for 1 1/2 yrs. I was brought up in a very strict Mexican tradition where the woman does not ask for she wants in the bedroom.

Well..now that I am of age of course and since I have lost weight, I feel like a part of me wants to be set free in the bedroom. I enjoy having sex with my new husband, and I want to learn to be the initiator. He has asked me "Why is he always the one to start things off".

Honestly, I was never taught and I feel embarrassed. I want to surprise him and I need ideas. The one thing I can say that I have hated see go with my weight loss are my breast. I feel that by me being more aggressive in the bedroom will not only help me with my self-esteem but will bring us even closer.

So...any suggestions or ideas are welcomed from both MEN and women.

Thanks.

A few people have mentioned toy stores, more and more common are toy stores really designed to be warmer and more inviting for shy customers. The staff at the ones I've been to are always really happy to answer questions and whatnot, and the stores are brightly lit, and well organized. I've been to some seedy stores, and I just can't make myself buy something from places like that.

I was quite a shy girl before I met my husband. He was shy too, but took the initiative to help us branch out. The biggest thing is communication. If I can't make myself say outloud what I want, I'll tell him in chat at work (or the other way around) and since we work together, he'll give me looks for the rest of the day, or say "so... what are you thinking about right now" as a way to tease me until we get home.

I noticed your in gardena..nice to see another calif girl here! And you've done soooo well! I'm still waiting for approval....sigh....hopefully i'll hear soon....

Your right..I have always been pretty shy too..yet, writing/texting is def an option!

All ya gotta do is just say what you want. He'll like your boldness. Even if all you say is something like "I want you now". And don't be afraid to give some direction if you feel his performance could be improved. If it's good for you, it'll be all the better for him.

The one thing that really gets the men is while your at a red light if he is driving flash him your boobies or reach over and touch him making some comments about what you would do to him.

Also when I know he is really busy at work I either call him or leave him messages telling him what I want to do for that night and he tends to get excited about heading home as soon as possible.

The sexy cloths really works great, these are all things that when I was bigger I wouldn't do because I was too embarresed but now I love it and it works every time.

Flash him your boobies....hahaha :wink2:

Its funny because he will be totally distracted and I will pull my shirt down so when he turns my way he is getting flashed he really gets a kick with that or even if you where a skirt just tees him pulling it way up like your going to show something but don't save it for later. This is fun and it brings some excitement to the relationship.

This was a fun thread any one have any more suggestions.

When my husband and I first got married he was a master gunny in the marine core. We didn't have a lot of money so we always took our lunches to work with us. One day I made him a panty sandwich for lunch. How did I know that a lot of the men under him ( that he was in charge of) would be having lunch with him. Well....everyone thought it was pretty funny and his men always liked me. I guess its because I was always doing things like that to him. One time I even put a pair of black lace panties on our poodle and took her with me when I went to pick him up from the base. I let her run all around his office in them. We are still doing things like this to each other. We have been married 32 years. Well the sex has slowed down some....but the cute things we do to each other hasn't.

I wish you lots of good sex and lots of happy years together.

Edited June 7, 200818 yr by crazycat