As y'all know, I'm taking horseback riding for my PE class this semester. I am still really unsure of myself around these big beasts, but I'm getting better. Yesterday, I had a wardrobe malfunction!

When I dismounting one of the horses, my bra got caught on the pommel an I was stuck! I'm standing on the tippy toes of my new cowboy boots because the horse is tall, I am not, and I'm trapped by my bra! Trust me, there is no way this bra is going to easily come loose or break, because they are made to hold me up! (Let's just say, I think a DD cup is really small...)

Luckily, two of the women in my class came to my rescue. My shirt ended up almost coming off in the process! It was really funny, to tell the truth.

So, anyone else have a wardrobe malfunction to share?

I once lost my bikini bottoms on a water tube on the Illinois River (this was of course when i was about 19 and thin).

As for any malfunctions while heavy... here is my story.... laugh if you will:

I had just had my son about 2 months prior. I was only 21 and my best friend suggested I finally go and "celebrate" turning 21. So I thought, well heck, I will or I will regret not doing it. So off I went to find a good outfit to wear. I wanted to look "hot" even though I was married and not trying to find anyone. Needless to say I was heavy as I had gained 65 lbs pregnant. My friend suggested a girdle. I was hesitant but who would know right? So off I went to the downtown to whooop it up for the night with my friend. The first nightclub was good but we wanted to go up the street a bit to another more happening place. So I did a quick potty trip to the bathroom and off we went to walk about 2 blocks up to the next nightclub. This "strip" of clubs is very packed on the sidewalks with people walking to/from places. Soooo, anyways... I started noticing people looking at me and even turning their heads as I walked by. Mannnnn, I must be HOTTTT! I felt GREAT! I started to "strut" I think too. I felt like the queen of the hotties! I even turned and flirted a bit. This all came to screachinggggggg halt when my friend noticed that my after going potty at the last club I had left my cute little skirt tucked up in my big ol' granny girdle and was walking down the main downtown street with my big ol' booty (properly scrunching all my fat butt in with a little coming out the sides) for the whole town to see! I was MORTIFIED! I went home crying and vowed to put my "party" days behind me. Once at home, eyes puffy, tired from sobbing, I looked in on my angel sleeping and remember thinking..... he was worth it.

So there you have it... my wardrobe malfunction.

This was back when I was still working for our paper full time....

It was fall or winter, so I had on some nice black dress pants with a short sleeved shirt and a long (knee length) black sweater. It was the kind that is open in the front and has a waist tie, so it's easy on and off.

It had been a long morning and I was ready to go home and get some lunch. At the time, my husband was still on midnights, so he was here during my lunch break.

I walked in the door and took my sweater off, then ran upstairs to use the bathroom. Well, once I pulled my pants down to use the toilet I noticed that I had a huuuuuugggge rip in the seat of my pants. I mean that puppy was worn torn from stem to stern!!!

So I quickly changed them and told my husband that thank God I hadn't taken my sweater off that morning or the whole office would've been able to see my huge rip with my underwear showing through!!! Not cool!

And although no one but hubby and I saw the rip, I was still plenty embarrassed.

So that's my major wardrobe malfunction!!!!

I have another more recent one too! About a week ago I was putting on my comfie black wind pants. (They're made out of a light material and are just casual pants.)

I have had these things forever and a day, and they fit me even when I weighed well over 300 pounds. So it's not as if they were too tight on me or anything.

Well I put them on and was just getting ready to go downstairs when I must've slightly bent forward to get something and the whole right side of where the zipper is sewn to the material ripped out on me!!! I totally couldn't believe it and chalked it up to being because they're old and have been worn forever.

I immediately got very defensive because my husband was standing right there when it happened. I was all like, "These things fit me even when I weighed 320 lbs.!!! Why are they ripping now??? It's not like they're tight on me or anything!!!" I was VERY embarrassed, even though it was just my hubby. I think because it reminded me of when I was at my heaviest and just made me feel that vulnerability again. Oy.

My work provides our uniforms that consist of dockers & polos - they give us 4 of each annually - the way these dockers last they should give us 8! After a while the dockers where thin - thin enough you can see through them! One night I didn't realize I had on a thin pair and I bent over to get hostess cupcakes out of the vending machine when rriiiipppppppp - blew the ass right out of them and this was no small rip - ripped the entire ass out of them - luckily my shirt covered up most of it - but this happens frequently if you don't remember to check your pants - the pair I have onto tonight is on its last leg as when I go pee and look down at my pants I can see the floor through them! Lets hope I make it through this shift tonight with them intact. Another time I was leaving work getting into my low-ridin Camaro and as soon as I got in I ripped the ass & thighs out of that pair too. I just found if funny about the cupcake rip because it was very ironic - shoulda seen the signs to keep my fat ass off the hostess cupcakes! My pants were protesting!

I blame this on my Dryer.. Normally I wash all my clothes seperate than the childrens so I think what happend is I did not empty the dryer. I went to pick up my husband and kids down my BIL house. When I got off the car I took a sweater for my youngest child since it was quite chilly out. I put it on him needless to notice a pair of my underwear attached (static cling) my DH noticed before any one saw and grab them off the sweater. He hands them to me all embarressed and I just said well at least they were clean.. But deep down I was embarressed cause when I was leaving he was telling my BIL who was laughing..